Tag Attitude is a Choice

How to Maintain a Positive Attitude

Steve Keating 1 Comment

So why the heck am I writing about a positive attitude in a leadership blog? Why am I not staying on topic here and talking about leading people? Why go all Pollyanna and say everything will be better just by staying positive. 

Well here’s why. Because every single aspect of your life WILL IN FACT be better if you CHOOSE to have a positive attitude. Every relationship will be stronger. Every decision will be easier. Every problem will present with it tremendous opportunity. Every bad day will be a little less bad. Every good day will be a little bit better. A positive attitude keeps your mind open. A positive attitude keeps your blood pressure lower. 

A positive attitude changes everything. 

Here’s something else about positive attitudes. Maintaining one day in and day out is a mighty big challenge. We are surrounded by negativity. We hear negativity in the media. It’s downright pervasive on social media. We hear it from colleagues, friends and even family. It’s literally everywhere. 

Yet in the face of all that negativity a choice remains. And that’s the choice of maintaining our own positive attitude. It’s not an easy choice. It’s a choice we must make each and every day because if we don’t make that choice for ourselves someone or something else will make it for us. Nothing is as contagious as someone else’s negative attitude. 

So you must make a conscious choice everyday. A choice that says “for today I will be in charge of my attitude and I will not allow anyone or anything to rob me of that precious life changing choice.”And then you need to fight like hell to make it happen. 

Below are a few ideas to help you in that fight. They help me, but to be honest with you I still lose that fight way too often. But I win it more than most people so I’m claiming victory. I’m hoping this post can share that victory with you. So here we go. 

  • Focus on the things you are grateful for in your life. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal can be helpful, where you write down things you are thankful for each day.
  • Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you. Positive and supportive relationships can have a significant impact on your attitude and outlook. You know the kind of people I’m talking about…those people who annoyingly see the bright side of everything. Let them annoy you a little more often because positive attitudes can be just as contagious as negative ones if you’re exposed often enough. 
  • Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions. When negative thoughts pop up, try to observe them without judgment and replace them with more positive and constructive ones.
  • Instead of dwelling on problems, direct your energy towards finding solutions. This proactive approach can boost your confidence and create a more positive mindset.
  • Identify activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. It could be hobbies, sports, spending time in nature, or creative pursuits. Regularly engaging in such activities can boost your overall mood.
  • Pay attention to the information you consume, whether it’s through the news, social media, or conversations. Limit exposure to negative or toxic content and seek more positive and uplifting sources.
  • Use positive affirmations to reframe your mindset and reinforce a positive attitude. Tell yourself affirming statements about your abilities, worth, and potential. If this sounds hokey to you don’t worry. It’s sounds hokey to me too and I wouldn’t mention it here except for the one small fact that it absolutely works. 
  • Failure is a natural part of life. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or setbacks, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. This perspective can help you maintain a positive attitude even during challenging times. Failure is never final unless you decide to make it so. 
  • Laughter is a powerful tool for lifting your spirits. Find humor in everyday situations, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Share laughs with friends, watch comedy, or engage in activities that make you smile. If you can’t find a single thing to laugh about during the day then do what I do, find a mirror and have yourself a big ol’ laugh. 
  • Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate your progress and give yourself credit for your efforts. You’re still trying, you’re still fighting the fight, you’re still on your way to success and I can’t think of anything more positive than that. 

Maintaining a positive attitude is a journey and it will not always be easy. It requires practice, patience, and self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and continue working on building a positive mindset, one step, and one day, at a time.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

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Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

Dealing with Negative Attitudes

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Dealing with negative attitudes can be a bit of a sticky wicket. (To be transparent I don’t know much about wickets. They apparently have something to do with an incredibly popular game that I, as an American, know nothing about) 

One of the things that makes dealing with negative attitudes so challenging is that we can see them in other people…in ourselves, not so much. Step one in dealing with negative attitudes is making sure your attitude is not the source of someone else’s poor attitude. 

Oftentimes that’s easier said than done. I am no different than anyone else in that respect. I’ve found that a hard look in the mirror coupled with a healthy dose of honesty is the best antidote for a negative attitude. “Things” are hardly ever as bad as they seem at first glance. A second, and sometimes third glance can go a long way toward snapping me back to reality. 

Only after we are certain we have positive control over our attitude can work on helping others gain a positive control over their own.

Dealing with other people’s poor attitudes is an even bigger challenge than dealing with our own. It’s important to approach the person with patience, empathy, and care. Here are some ideas that may make it less of a challenge.

  • Stay calm. Don’t let the other person’s poor attitude affect your own behavior. Take a deep breath and try to remain calm and composed. Remember, attitudes are contagious. Make sure yours isn’t infected with negativity while you’re trying to inject positivity into someone else. 
  • Listen, listen some more and then a little more. It’s essential to listen to what the other person is saying and try to understand where they are coming from. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share what the heck is going on that’s causing them to lose control of their attitude.
  • Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective. This can help you understand how they got to where they are. Never dismiss their feelings or perspective. Their perspective is likely different from yours because it comes from their life experiences. If you had the identical life experiences you’d likely have the exact same perspective too.
  • Speak in a calm and assertive tone, using “I” statements to express your own feelings and concerns. Never ever “blame” the other person for their feelings. Don’t tell them they are wrong to feel the way they feel. Negative attitudes are born from emotions. Trying to use logic, at least what you think is logic, to overcome emotions is a losing proposition.
  • Set boundaries and limitations. If the other person’s poor attitude is causing you undue stress or anxiety, it’s okay to set boundaries. Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate in terms of behavior. The flight attendants on a plane tell you to “put your own oxygen mask on first” because if you pass out from lack of oxygen you won’t be able to help anyone. It’s the same with attitudes. If someone is sucking the positive oxygen out of your life then you need to put your positive mask on and separate yourself from that person. You can try again another time but you need to refill your positivity tank before making another attempt.
  • Know your own capabilities. It’s likely you’re not Superman or Superwoman. Sometimes another person may need more help than you are able to provide. If you think another person’s negative attitude goes beyond a bad day at work or a dispute at home then you may need to encourage them to seek outside help. This is particularly true if the other person’s negative attitude is prolonged and persistent. It could be a lot more serious than they are letting on.

Remember, dealing with other people’s poor attitudes can be difficult. It’s important to approach the situation with care and respect. By remaining calm, listening actively, and communicating assertively, you can help someone else “catch” your positive attitude and turn their crummy day into something terrific.

Forget About It

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Many years ago, okay, many many years ago, I was making cold calls with my Sales Manager. We had a solid process (at the time) for cold calling. We would walk into a company and ask to leave some literature with the receptionist. We would then ask the receptionist for the name of the person they would be passing the literature to so we could follow up directly. It was an effective way to learn the name of the decision maker. 

We were part way through a full day of prospecting when we made a call on a paper company. I greeted the receptionist and asked if I could drop off some literature for the person who made training decisions. She cheerfully said sure and I handed her the first piece of literature I was planning to leave behind. As I was taking the second piece of literature out of my folder I noticed the receptionist putting the first piece beneath the desk. 

I handed the second brochure over and the receptionist again placed it beneath the desk. I asked what she was doing with the literature and she said she was “speeding up the process.” I asked what that meant and she said that her boss would throw the “crap” away so she was speeding up the process. 

I was not exactly happy with her answer. So I asked if she thought that was an appropriate way to treat people. She said she would never treat people that way but it was fine for salespeople. 

Before I could “discuss” this any further my Sales Manager thanked her for her time and guided me to the door. 

When we got back to our car I asked my manager if he could believe what just happened. He said he didn’t see anything unusual and I should just “forget about it” because we had lots more calls to make. It wouldn’t be productive to let a poor call affect my effectiveness on the next call. 

As I said earlier that was many many years ago so I haven’t exactly forgotten about it. But I also haven’t forgotten the point my Sales Manager was making. 

The point was do not let one bad customer experience allow the next customer interaction to be negatively affected. The idea was to sell in “call tight compartments” so that each call was “fresh.”

Selling one call at a time protects you from becoming overconfident when things were going well. It also keeps you from bringing disappointment and maybe even anger into your next call. 

That’s not only good advice for a salesperson, it’s good advice for everyone. Do not let a poor interaction with one person carry over to the interaction you have with the next person. This is particularly important for leaders to keep in mind. 

Everyone will have negative experiences involving other people. No one has to allow that to make them negative. Staying positive in the face of negativity is a choice. It’s a choice we should all make everyday.

Five Choices that Change Everything

Steve Keating 6 Comments

People who know more than me about the human body could tell you exactly what it’s made of. The chemical compositions, the percentages of muscle vs fat, (or at least what it should be) and all sorts of other cool stuff. 

But all that “stuff” makes you alive. It does not make your life. 

Your life is made from the choices you make. Every big choice and every small choice determines the quality and even the length of your life. 

If you’re like most people you don’t realize how many choices you make each day. You choose what time to wake up. You choose your attitude, and if you don’t choose your attitude then you choose to allow other people and other things to choose it for you. You choose what to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to say, what to listen to. Who to listen to. What to watch on TV. When to go to bed and hundreds of other decisions wedged between those. 

One thing most us seldom think about is the fact that our minds take in everything we see, everything we hear and everything we read. It all influences what we think and those thoughts determine our actions. 

All, yes all, as in every single one, of those choices are influenced by the people you spend the most time with. Your life is basically a compilation of the lives of the five people you’re around the most. 

If you believe that you are influencing them and that they are not influencing you then I’m guessing you may also be excited about an upcoming visit from the Easter Bunny. 

There are some choices in life that only you control and five of those choices are the people you allow to be closest to you. Those are the five choices that can change every other choice you make in life. These are the people considered to be your “inner circle.” 

Are you allowing unmotivated people to be a big part of your life? If you are then I can also guarantee you that you have motivational issues. You likely can’t seem to get started on the things you say that you want to accomplish. That’s because your natural motivation is being negatively impacted by unmotivated people close to you. 

If you’re allowing negative people into your inner circle then I can be fairly certain that other people around you see you as a negative person, even if you don’t. Pandemics have been in the news a bit lately but nobody talks about the Pandemic of negativity all around us. Negative attitudes are as contagious as any virus that has ever existed and masks do nothing to stop it. The only way to avoid catching negativity is to stay away from it. 

It is a worthy effort to try and infect a negative person who a strong dose of positivity. Understand the contagion you’re dealing with however and make certain you keep some space between yourself and the person you’re trying to help. 

Invest some serious time right now to consider the people who you are closest to. Are they helping you and supporting your efforts to have a better more meaningful life? Are they a good influence on you or do they overpower your good intentions? Be honest!

If you want a better life you may need to make some tough choices. You may need to say goodbye to some of your friends. Even though some of your friends may mean you no harm they may be harming you with their choices…because you are influenced and impacted by them. 

The number of people you allow into your personal inner circle may also be less then five. If you determine you currently know only 3 people capable of being “builders of you” then 3 people is the perfect number. Don’t let a couple of nattering nabobs of negativity into your inner circle just so you have a circle of 5. 

Surround yourself with as many positive, caring and supportive people as you can find. Make sure the five people closest to you fully match the positive, caring and supportive criteria. The quality of your life depends on it. 

The Promise of Tomorrow

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Every year holds it’s own set of lessons. Those who study history know that the years teach us many things that a single day will never know.

I don’t think we’ll need much history however to understand some of the lessons from the year 2020. For too many families around the world one of those lessons is that tomorrow is promised to no one. No one can know if their own tomorrow will actually arrive. 

But we also know that if our tomorrow does arrive we have much more control over it than we often choose to take. Many people let their days unfold as if they have no say whatsoever in the events of that day. They let the day happen. 

The happiest and most successful people never let a day happen “to them.” They make the day happen “for them.” 

They may not be able to choose each of the “events” that come their way each day but they are able to choose exactly how they will respond to them. They choose very very frequently to respond with a positive attitude.

That positive attitude allows them to take something good from every experience. It allows them to learn from even their least favorite event of any given day. It allows them to constantly be looking forward to the promise of an even better tomorrow. 

You have the same choice. The only question is whether or not you’ll actually make it. 

I know people who make the choice of a positive attitude 100% of the time. They are happier than me. I am happier than people who make the choice of a positive attitude less frequently than me. 

I know people who choose to look for opportunities in every problem 100% of the time. They are more successful than me. I am more successful than people who look for opportunities in problems less than I do. 

It is very clear that happiness and success come from our choices and no choice we make is more important than the choice of a positive attitude. Choosing to look for opportunities inside problems is a close second. 

Yet I’m tempted to tell you it’s not possible 100% of the time cause it seems impossible to me. But I know people who prove me wrong. It’s not only a possibility for them, it is a reality. So I’m going to keep trying to make it my reality too. 

The promise of tomorrow doesn’t wait. You need to go get it. Your choice of a positive attitude is the fastest ride to those promises you’ll ever find. You willing to hop on board with me?

What Else Could Go Right?

Steve Keating 4 Comments

I recommend to writers that they NOT begin a post or an article with a disclaimer. This is going to be another example of a post where I do not follow my own advice because this is a post that is going to, has to, begin with a disclaimer.

Because this is a post about maintaining a positive attitude. That’s something I struggle with. I know it’s importance but I too often allow my choice of a positive attitude to be overwhelmed by the circumstances I find myself in. That’s not good for me and it’s not good for the people around me.

I want to offer that disclaimer as a way of not appearing as a total fraud to those who know me best. The fact that I can’t always maintain control over my attitude is no reason not to try. The same goes for you. So here we go!

You’ve probably heard or said yourself, “what else could go wrong.” It’s most often said in a very dejected tone of voice when problems just continue to pile up. It sometimes seems as if everything that could could go wrong already has. That’s when we start looking for things that are wrong.

That makes it very difficult to choose a positive attitude. Yes, your attitude is your choice and no one and nothing can rob you of that choice. But here’s the thing, to maintain a positive attitude you MUST make that choice. If you don’t consciously make the choice of a positive attitude then the choice of a negative attitude will be made for you by whatever circumstances you find yourself in.

We do not subconsciously choose a positive attitude. That choice must be made consciously and it must be made frequently. Failure to make that choice leads to a negative attitude, whether you realize it or not.

Researchers say the average person has 40,000 thoughts a day. I don’t know how they can figure that out but here’s what really concerns me. They also say that of those 40,000 thoughts over 80% of them are negative. That’s a whole lot of negativity going on in our heads and it won’t be overcome without intentionally fighting to overcome it.

So how about this. How about when “things” start going bad instead of asking “what else could go wrong?” we start asking, “what else could go right?”

How about we start looking for the good. The good in a particular situation or the good in a particularly difficult person. No matter the circumstances something good is never that far away. You only have to make yourself look!

Now if that sounds all Pollyanna to some of you especially negative people reading this then I have a message for you.

You can easily find something wrong with very little effort. If you want to find something right it can take a little more effort but something right is there. And this much I can promise you from my personal experience… on the days you successfully choose a positive attitude everything and everyone around you seems, looks, acts and is in fact, better.

Every aspect of your life is affected by your attitude. Either you control it or it will control you. That’s a scary thought for some people but it’s a fact and it’s also a fact that the choice is yours.

 

Attitude and Effort

Steve Keating 12 Comments

Many years ago I received some exceptional advice from a mentor that has stayed with me to this day. He told me to stop trying to control things I couldn’t control. His recommendation was that I focus 100% of my attention on the things within my control. He also said to “block out” the uncontrollable things from my field of view because they were nothing more than distractions. 

 

Through the years as I’ve considered his advice I’ve discovered there are far fewer controllable parts of my life than there are uncontrollable. I can influence what other people think of me but I can’t control their thoughts. I can try to influence their actions but people will eventually do whatever they think is best for them. The list of stuff I can’t control could go on forever. 

 

But that’s okay because through the years I’ve also discovered that I can control, completely, two areas of my life which have the greatest impact on my success and happiness. 

 

Those areas are attitude and effort. 

 

In his timeless book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl describes the “last of the human freedoms.” He says that last freedom, a freedom that can be taken from no one, is the choice of one’s own attitude. Every human on earth is free, regardless of their circumstances, to choose their own attitude. No one and nothing can take that freedom away from you. 

 

Before you say “well Viktor Frankl never worked where I work. He never experienced how tough my life is. He just doesn’t know,” before you say any of that you should know that Viktor Frankl is a surviver of Nazi Concentration Camps. He knows.

 

He would tell you that his choice of a positive attitude was literally life saving. 

 

I can only imagine, actually I can’t even imagine, how tough a fight it must have been each day for him to choose a positive attitude. But he fought the fight and won. 

 

The choice of a positive attitude is a big fight for me even in my relatively cushy world. I lose that fight too often but this much I’m certain of: every single part of my life is better on the days I win that fight. 

 

The question for you is will you consciously engage in that fight or will you allow other people and things to make the choice of your attitude for you? 

 

When it comes to making an effort I realized early on that there was a direct correlation between the level of effort I put into something and the results I received from that effort. When I really want something I remember the words of the immortal Yoda who said, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” 

 

You alone control the level of effort you’re willing to put into any endeavor. You can allow obstacles to stop you or you can learn from them and use them as launching pads to your next level of success. You can make excuses or you can make progress. It’s hard to do both. 

 

As Babe Ruth said, “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” If you allow yourself to be beaten you can be assured there is someone close by willing to put in the effort to do just that…beat you. 


If you adopt Yoda’s thinking then you won’t try to succeed you’ll do it.