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Dealing With Sudden Loss

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Dealing with sudden loss, such as the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or any other significant change, can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally distressing experience. Coping with sudden loss requires time, self-care, and support.

You need to be careful with your feelings during times of sudden loss. They are capable and convincing liars. After a job loss for instance they may try to convince you that you’re somehow a diminished person. That you are less than you were before. That’s all BS. You matter as much as ever. You make the world better because you’re in it. You bring value to the people in your life and you should never doubt that for a minute.

But suffering any significant loss is tough. There is no doubt about that. Here are some steps and strategies to help you navigate this difficult period.

• Allow yourself to grieve: It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to grieve. Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion.

• Seek support: Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. Talking to someone you trust can provide comfort and a sense of connection during this difficult time. You may also consider joining a support group or seeking the help of a therapist or counselor to talk through your feelings. You should know this absolute fact…THERE IS NOT A HINT OF SHAME IN NEEDING SOME ADDITIONAL SUPPORT IN A TIME OF LOSS.

• Take care of your physical health: Grief can take a toll on your body, so it’s important to maintain your physical health. Eat nutritious meals, get enough sleep, and engage in regular physical activity to help manage stress and maintain your overall well-being.

• Create a routine: Establishing a daily routine can provide structure and stability during a time of upheaval. Having a sense of predictability can be comforting and help you regain a sense of control.

• Avoid major life decisions: During the initial stages of grief, try to avoid making significant life decisions, if possible. You may not be in the best mindset to make clear choices, and your perspective can change as you process your loss over time.

• Write or journal: Expressing your feelings through writing can be therapeutic. Keeping a journal can help you explore your emotions, track your progress, and gain insight into your grief journey.

• Memorialize or commemorate the loss: Find a way to remember and honor the person or thing you’ve lost. This could involve creating a memorial, holding a memorial service, or participating in activities that remind you of positive memories.

• Be patient with yourself: Grieving is a unique and individual process, and there is no set timeline for when you should “get over” your loss. Allow yourself to heal at your own pace and don’t rush the process.

• Seek professional help if needed: If your grief becomes overwhelming, persistent, or disrupts your ability to function in daily life, it’s important to consider speaking to a mental health professional who can offer guidance and support.

Remember that healing from a sudden loss is a gradual and ongoing process. If you have people in your life who tell you to “just get over it” then it might be time to be over them. They may be well meaning but they clearly don’t understand significant loss. I’d advise against taking advice from the “just get over it” types.

Over time, the intensity of your grief may lessen, but it’s common for waves of sadness to resurface, especially on anniversaries or other significant dates. By taking the time to address your emotions and seeking support when needed, you can work through your grief and eventually find a sense of peace and acceptance.

Leading Difficult People

Steve Keating Leave a comment

If leadership was easy then everybody would be doing it. The fact is, leadership is not easy. It’s not easy because leadership is about people. People come in all shapes and sizes. They bring with them all kinds of backgrounds and upbringings. They carry with them past experiences, good and bad. Sometimes they even bring with them a chip, one they carry on their shoulder. Those “chips” can make them a unique challenge to lead.

But leading difficult people is part of the package a leader accepts. Leading difficult people can be a challenging but essential skill for effective leadership. Whether you’re leading a team or working on a project, dealing with difficult individuals is a not an uncommon occurrence.

But nearly everyone can be led to success if the leader is willing to hang in there with them. Here are some ideas to help you hang.

• Start by trying to understand the difficult person’s point of view. Ask questions and actively listen to their concerns and motivations. Often, people become difficult when they feel unheard or undervalued. Empathy is a powerful tool for building rapport.

• When dealing with difficult people, it’s important to maintain your composure. Don’t let their behavior provoke you into a reaction that you might regret. Take a deep breath, stay patient, and remain level-headed.

• Clearly communicate your expectations for their behavior and performance. Make sure they understand their role and responsibilities, as well as the consequences of not meeting those expectations.

• Consistency in your actions and responses is key. Make sure you treat all team members fairly and equally. This helps prevent any perceived favoritism or bias that can lead to conflict.

• If a difficult person’s behavior is disruptive or problematic, address the issues in private rather than in a public setting. This allows them to save face and reduces the chances of escalation.

• Provide feedback that is specific, objective, and focused on behavior or actions rather than personal characteristics. Use the “I” statements approach to express your feelings and concerns. For example, say, “I felt frustrated when you missed the deadline” rather than, “You’re always late.”

• Clearly define the boundaries for acceptable behavior within the team or organization. Enforce those boundaries consistently and fairly.

• Look for areas of common interest or shared goals and use them to build rapport. Finding common ground can help bridge gaps between difficult individuals and the team.

• Encourage difficult individuals to develop their skills and work on self-improvement. Offer training, coaching, or resources to help them grow and address their problem areas. Make their faults seem easy to correct.

• If necessary, involve HR or a higher-level manager to help mediate or address more serious issues. They can provide guidance, support, or disciplinary action if required.

• Keep records of problematic behavior and interactions, including dates, times, and descriptions. This documentation can be helpful if you need to escalate the issue or if it becomes a pattern of behavior.

• Sometimes, a person may be difficult due to external factors such as personal problems, stress, or health issues. Consider the context and be open to offering support or accommodations when appropriate.

• Changing behavior or attitudes can take time. Be patient, but also be persistent in your efforts to lead and difficult individuals effectively.

The sad reality is that not all difficult people can be transformed, and some may need to be led differently. In extreme cases, they may need to be removed from the team or organization to maintain a healthy working environment. Your approach should depend on the specific situation and the impact of the individual’s behavior on the team’s overall performance and well-being.

Redirecting someone to another organization or another role is not the most rewarding part of leadership but it is a mighty important one. Ignoring a difficult team member and hoping they will improve or simply “go away” is not leading.

If you’ve accepted a leadership position then it is imperative that you Lead…Today!

How to Stop Being a Complainer

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Okay, I’d be the first to admit that on the surface, there is a whole lot to complain about these days. I won’t list them all here cause I like to keep my posts under a million words. But we know what the big ones are. When we add in our own little pet peeves it’s pretty easy to be complaining all the time.

But that is incredibly unproductive. It’s also unhealthy. It robs you of your joy. It’s steals your creativity. It makes you less fun to be around, I mean let’s face it, we don’t even like ourselves when we’re in complainer mode.

It’s so easy to fall into the complainer trap. We often do it without giving it a second thought. Someone asks us how our day is going and we launch into a stream of everything that’s wrong in the world. All that accomplishes is making the person regret asking us in the first place.

If you want to stop being a complainer you need to give your answer a second thought. When someone says how is your day going consider the impact your words will have on their day. Do you want to make their day better or drag them down to your level? One of the surest ways to up the positivity of your own day is to consider your impact on other people.

Here are a few thoughts on what you may want to be thinking about when you’re giving your answer that “second thought.”

• Self-awareness: The first step to change is recognizing that you tend to complain. Pay attention to your thoughts and speech patterns. Are you frequently expressing dissatisfaction or negativity about various aspects of your life? Acknowledging the issue is the first step towards improvement.

• Identify triggers: Determine what prompts you to complain. Is it stress, frustration, boredom, or a particular situation or person? Understanding your triggers can help you address the root causes of your complaints.

• Practice gratitude: Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by regularly acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. You can keep a gratitude journal where you write down things you’re thankful for each day. This practice can shift your focus away from complaining and towards appreciation.

• Reframe your thoughts: Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, make an effort to reframe your thoughts and focus on solutions and positive aspects. When something bothers you, try to find a more constructive perspective and identify actions you can take to address the issue.

• Limit exposure to negativity: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. If you find that certain individuals or environments encourage complaining, consider reducing your exposure to them or setting boundaries to protect your positivity.

• Practice active listening: Be mindful of how much you complain in conversations with others. Instead of constantly talking about your own problems, listen actively to others, show empathy, and engage in meaningful discussions that don’t revolve around complaints.

• Problem-solving: If you have legitimate concerns or issues, focus on problem-solving rather than venting. Identify the problem, brainstorm potential solutions, and take action to address it. This proactive approach can help you feel more in control of your life.

• Maintain a positive mindset: Work on developing a more positive outlook on life. This can include reading self-help books, practicing mindfulness, or seeking the support of a therapist or counselor to address deeper issues that may contribute to your tendency to complain.

• Choose your words carefully: Pay attention to your language and try to avoid using overly negative or critical words. The way you express yourself can influence your mindset and how others perceive you.

• Set goals and stay focused: Having clear goals and a sense of purpose can help you stay motivated and positive. When you’re actively working towards something meaningful, you’re less likely to get caught up in complaining.

• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and understand that everyone has moments of frustration or negativity. Don’t beat yourself up for complaining; instead, use it as an opportunity for self-improvement and growth.

• Seek support: If you find it challenging to stop complaining on your own, consider enlisting the support of friends, family, or a mentor who can help you on your journey to becoming a more positive and solution-oriented person.

Changing your habits and mindset takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Over time, with consistent practice and self-awareness, you can become less of a complainer and more of a positive, solution-focused person.

How Good Companies Lose Their Way

Steve Keating Leave a comment

History is rife with examples of good companies, even great ones, that were excellent right up until they were bad. At least it seems that way. The truth is, they were good right up until the point they slowly began turning away from the principles and practices that made them good. Companies rarely turn from good to bad overnight. It’s a decision here and a tough break there that add up over time. It seems common that when the slide begins it picks up speed until the momentum towards bad becomes hard to stop.

But great companies with great leadership can and do stop that negative momentum. They turn it around and use it to become what they once were or even better.

Good companies can decline for a wide variety of reasons, and the path to failure is often a complex interplay of internal and external factors. Though responsibility most often falls to top leadership it is rarely one person’s fault. Here are some common reasons why otherwise successful or “good” companies lose their way.

• Poor Leadership: Leadership is crucial for the success of any company. Ineffective or unethical leadership can lead to poor decision-making, mismanagement, and a toxic work culture that erodes a company’s foundation. Make no mistake about this fact…company culture begins and ends at the top of an organization. It cannot be delegated to teams or committees. Everything, absolutely everything a top leader says and does has an effect on the culture of an organization. People are always watching and listening. When the words and the actions of leadership are not in sync the people notice. And culture suffers mightily.

Top leaders must also pay close attention to the “sub cultures” within the different departments of their organization. The overall culture within the larger organization may be good but these “sub cultures” can sink an organization too. Culture eats strategy, tactics, and planning for breakfast. If a top leader messes up the culture they have messed up the company. Nothing matters more!

• Market Changes: External factors, such as changes in the competitive landscape, shifts in consumer preferences, or disruptive technologies, can rapidly undermine a company’s position in the market. Failing to adapt to these changes can lead to failure. A common mistake of companies that go from good to bad is an assumption that because they are good they will always be good. It’s an assumption that because they are market leaders they will always be market leaders. You know what they say about assuming and assumptions are a huge factor in companies that lose their way.

• Financial Mismanagement: Poor financial decisions, including excessive debt, overexpansion, or misallocation of resources, can drain a company’s financial health and lead to insolvency. Once again assumptions play a critical role in financial decisions.

• Lack of Strategic Vision: A clear and well-defined strategic vision is essential for long-term success. Without a direction for the future, a company may make ad-hoc decisions that are not aligned with its overall goals. Even big decisions become easy decisions when they are made within the context of an organization’s strategic vision.

• Short-Term Focus: Companies that prioritize short-term profits at the expense of long-term sustainability may make decisions that harm their future prospects. This can include cost-cutting measures that compromise an organization’s talent pool, product quality or investments in research and development. But…profits matter and balancing the need for profits today versus long-term profit down the road is one of top leadership’s biggest challenges. I do not envy them that responsibility.

• Competitive Pressure: Aggressive competition can put pressure on a company’s market share and profit margins. Failing to respond effectively to competition can lead to market share erosion and financial instability. I think this is especially challenging for companies that are market leaders. It’s tempting to say “who cares what the other guys are doing, we’re the market leaders.” While tempting, the fact is that it does matter. It all matters and failing to respond to market conditions has sunk more than one company. If you don’t believe that then think about this one company that we’ll allow to remain nameless…their chief marketing officer once said to me, and I quote, “people will always need film for their cameras.”

• Economic Downturns: Economic recessions and downturns can impact a company’s revenue, access to credit, and consumer spending. Companies without a strong financial cushion or contingency plans may struggle to survive during such times. Economic downturns can be torturous for senior leaders because it may mean letting some of their people go. If you ever find yourself in the role of someone who has been “rightsized” or “downsized” then know that as brutal as it is for you it’s likely been a brutal experience for your senior leaders as well. Put simply, it just sucks, for everybody.

There are a host of other factors that can also come into play. Keeping a business going has always been been a dicey proposition. Lately it’s been a little more dicey than usual. In many cases, it’s not a single factor but a combination of these issues that leads to a company’s decline. Successful companies must remain agile, forward-thinking, and responsive to internal and external changes to mitigate the risk of becoming a “formerly” good company.

How to Retain Key Employees

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Turnover is a fact of life for any business or organization. Some level of turnover is even good. With new team members comes fresh perspectives and new ideas. But turnover is also expensive. Depending on your business it can take up to and even over 12 months to bring new team members up to full speed. If you can’t keep them on the team for at least a few years your business will always struggle.

That’s even more true if the people you’re losing are considered “key” employees. These are people in leadership positions who you rely on to help you chart the future course of the company. Key employees may also be those who possess unique skills or expertise that is not easily replaced. When you lose a key employee the “sting” is worse. Losing several key employees in a short period of time can signal serious issues within the organization.

It can be tempting to say that it is mere coincidence that more than one key leader left in the same time frame. It may even be true. But as a leader you better know exactly why you’ve lost a key employee and what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

Retaining your key employees is crucial for maintaining stability and ensuring that your company continues to thrive. If you’ve lost a key leader or employee lately here some areas to focus on as possible reasons.

• Ensure that your employees are fairly compensated for their skills and contributions. Conduct regular salary reviews to stay competitive in the market.

• Provide comprehensive benefits packages, including health insurance, retirement plans, and other perks like flexible work arrangements, wellness programs, and professional development opportunities.

• Recognize and reward your key employees (well actually all employees) for their hard work and accomplishments. This can include bonuses, promotions, or public recognition within the organization.

• Show appreciation through regular feedback and simple gestures like thank-you notes or verbal recognition.

So here is the thing about these first two points. Most key leaders don’t leave for more money. Some do and some always will but most simply don’t. But many of them do leave if they don’t feel recognized and appreciated. You MUST be intentional in providing that recognition and appreciation. If you think your people “just know” how much they mean to you then frankly you deserve to lose them.

• Offer opportunities for growth and advancement within the company. Ensure that employees have a clear path for career progression.

• Provide access to training, mentoring, and skill development programs to help employees enhance their skills and advance their careers.

• Support a healthy work-life balance by encouraging reasonable working hours and providing flexible scheduling options.

• Promote a culture of respecting personal time and vacation days.

• Cultivate a positive work environment with a strong company culture that aligns with your employees’ values and goals.

• Foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie within the organization.

• Maintain open and honest communication with your employees. Encourage them to share their concerns, ideas, and feedback.

• Address issues promptly and transparently, so employees feel valued and heard.

You’ll likely be surprised how many issues can be resolved through truly open communication. Never assume people know what’s going on just because you do. When in doubt communicate. Then communicate some more.

• Involve employees in decision-making processes when possible. Seek their input on matters that affect their work and the organization.

• Give employees a sense of ownership in their roles and the company’s success.

• Establish mentorship programs to connect key employees with experienced leaders in the organization.

• Invest in leadership development programs to prepare potential future leaders within your organization.

• Conduct regular employee engagement surveys to understand their needs and concerns.

• Act on the feedback received to make improvements and create a better work environment.

• Offer non-monetary incentives like additional vacation days, opportunities to work on exciting projects, or the ability to work remotely.

• Create a fun and engaging workplace through team-building activities and social events.

• Consider offering retention bonuses or stock options to key employees as incentives to stay with the company for a defined period.

• Stay competitive in terms of perks and benefits. Things like on-site daycare, gym memberships, or commuter benefits, can attract and retain top talent.

• Conduct exit interviews with employees who choose to leave. Use this feedback to identify areas for improvement and address any concerns.

Different employees have different motivations. It’s essential to tailor your retention strategies to individual needs and preferences. Continuously monitor your retention efforts, adapt as necessary, and make employee satisfaction a priority to keep your key employees engaged and loyal to your organization.

Above all know this; if you’re losing multiple key employees you’ll continue to lose key employees until something changes. You may change something and miss the mark but that’s better than standing pat and allowing your losses to mount. Keep changing until you get it right.

How to Stop Being a Micromanager

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Almost everyone, except perhaps micromanagers, know that micromanaging is counterproductive. Even some micromanagers realize the damage they do but they just can’t control their urges to turn their people into unthinking robots. This post is written especially for them.

If you’re a leader, you should know that micromanagement hurts your effectiveness and team morale. You are literally holding your people back from their potential. In the process you are limiting the future growth of your organization. In that environment your best people will leave and find someplace where they can use their skills and knowledge. That is unsustainable in today’s business world.

If you’re a micromanager you need to stop, now. If you’re not sure if you’re a micromanager then ask around. Your reputation will precede you. Because no one likes a micromanager, truth be told even micromanagers don’t like micromanagers.

If you want to stop being a micromanager and become a more effective leader, here are some ideas you should begin to put in place today.

• Self-awareness: Recognize the problem. Acknowledge that you tend to micromanage, and understand the negative impact it can have on your team. Self-awareness is the first step towards change.

• Trust your team: Understand that your team members are capable and competent. Trust their skills, judgment, and abilities. Remember that you hired them for a reason, and they can handle their responsibilities.

• Delegate effectively: Delegate tasks and responsibilities clearly, specifying the desired outcomes and expectations. Be clear about what needs to be done, but allow your team members to determine how to accomplish it. Provide them with the autonomy to make decisions within the framework you’ve set.

• Set clear goals: Establish clear and measurable goals and key performance indicators (KPIs) for your team. When everyone understands the objectives, it’s easier for team members to work independently and make decisions aligned with those goals.

• Communicate openly: Encourage open communication with your team. Let them know they can come to you with questions, concerns, or updates. Regularly check in to offer guidance and support without being overbearing.

• Provide resources and support: Ensure your team has the necessary resources, tools, and training to excel in their roles. Show that you’re there to support them when they need assistance.

• Empower decision-making: Encourage your team to make decisions within their areas of responsibility. This helps them feel more invested in their work and fosters a sense of ownership.

• Avoid micromanaging tasks: Resist the urge to constantly monitor or interfere with how tasks are being performed. Give your team space to execute their responsibilities independently.

• Focus on results, not methods: Instead of getting caught up in how tasks are done, concentrate on the outcomes and whether they align with the established goals and quality standards.

• Provide constructive feedback: Offer feedback that is constructive and supportive. Recognize achievements and offer guidance when improvements are needed. This feedback should be ongoing, not just during annual reviews.

• Step back gradually: Reducing micromanagement is a process. Start by loosening your grip on smaller, less critical tasks. Gradually entrust your team with more significant responsibilities over time.

• Develop your team’s skills: Invest in the growth and development of your team members. Help them acquire the skills and knowledge they need to excel in their roles. That will also boost your confidence in their abilities.

• Learn to let go: It can be difficult to relinquish control, but it’s essential for becoming a more effective leader. Trust your team to handle their responsibilities and avoid the temptation to step in unless it’s genuinely necessary.

• Seek feedback: Ask your team for feedback on your management style and be open to making changes based on their input. This demonstrates your commitment to improvement and your respect for their perspective.

• Be patient with yourself: Breaking the habit of micromanagement takes time. You may occasionally slip into old patterns, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Recognize those moments and commit to doing better next time.

Micromanagement, like most habits can be a hard habit to break. But it’s essential for the growth and development of your team and your own effectiveness as a leader. As you gradually let go and empower your team, you’ll likely see improvements in morale, productivity, and overall team performance.

You’ll feel more like a leader and you will in fact be truly leading.

Overcoming Human Nature

Steve Keating 2 Comments

This is a post that might create a bit of controversy because I’m not a huge believer in the idea of a “fixed” unchangeable human nature. I think too often people use “human nature” as an excuse. They use it to let themselves off the hook. Kind of like when they use the old “the devil made me do it” excuse. They devil may have encouraged you but he can’t make you do anything.

Human nature may mean you’re likely to do something but it doesn’t mean you have to do it. I believe while it’s challenging we can overcome traits, habits and behaviors that may seem to be “human nature.” Overcoming human nature can be a complex and challenging task. That’s because “human nature” is a broad term that encompasses a wide range of behaviors that are inherent to all of us as humans. However, if you’re seeking personal growth and positive change of your human nature, here are some steps and strategies to consider.

• Self-awareness: Start by understanding your own human nature. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your biases, and your automatic responses. Self-awareness is the first step toward change.

• Define your goals: Clearly define what aspects of your human nature you want to overcome or change. It could be things like procrastination, impulsivity, negative thinking, or a lack of self-discipline.

• Education: Learn about the psychology and biology behind human nature. Understanding why we have certain tendencies can help you find strategies to overcome them.

• Set achievable goals: Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. This makes change more attainable and less overwhelming.

• Develop self-discipline: Cultivate the ability to control your impulses and stick to your goals. This can be achieved through practice and habit formation.

• Seek support: Surround yourself with people who support your goals and can hold you accountable. A mentor can be huge here, they can provide guidance and encouragement.

• Embrace change: Be open to change and willing to adapt your beliefs and behaviors. Sometimes, our resistance to change is a significant barrier to personal growth.

• Build healthy habits: Replace negative habits with positive ones. For example, if you’re trying to overcome a tendency to be pessimistic, practice gratitude and positive thinking.

• Emotional intelligence: Improve your ability to understand and manage your emotions. This can help you make better decisions and relate to others more effectively.

• Empathy and perspective-taking: Cultivate empathy to better understand others and their perspectives. This can help you overcome biases and improve your relationships.

• Learn from failures: Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Instead, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Analyze what went wrong and adjust your approach.

• Patience and persistence: Change takes time, and overcoming certain aspects of human nature can be a lifelong journey. Be patient with yourself and stay committed to your goals.

Remember that overcoming aspects of human nature is a highly individualized process. What works for one person may not work for another, so it’s important to find the strategies and approaches that resonate with you and align with your goals. It’s also important to be realistic about what you can change and what you may need to accept as a part of your inherent nature.

And absolutely keep in mind that it’s your human nature you’re working on. Do not think for a moment that you can change another’s person’s human nature. Changing our own human nature is challenging enough. Don’t frustrate yourself trying to change someone else’s. Either accept them for who and what they are or don’t. But don’t waste valuable energy trying to change them.

You might be able to inspire them to change, you might be an encourager for them but if they don’t want to change you’re not going to be able to make them.