Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that everything seems to set us off. A tough critique at work, a spat with a friend, a never-ending to-do list—suddenly, the world can feel like it’s crashing down. But the truth is, most of what stresses us out are just small pieces of a much larger, more complex puzzle.
Learning how to keep things in perspective isn’t about ignoring problems; it’s about developing a mindset that prevents minor setbacks from hijacking your overall well-being.
I’m a big believer in living in what Dale Carnegie called, “Day-Tight Compartments.” Living each day in its own 24 hours. That means not allowing yesterday’s “stuff” to impact today’s efforts. It means not over-worrying about tomorrow’s events at the cost of today’s happiness and productivity.
Living in Day-Tight Compartments is the superpower that lets you navigate storms without sinking your entire ship.
Here are a few practical strategies you can use to zoom out and regain your footing when life feels too big and your Day-Tight Compartment starts to get a little leaky.
1. The 10/10/10 Rule
When you’re facing a stressful decision or a major upset, try asking yourself these three simple questions:
How will I feel about this in 10 minutes? (Immediate impact)
How will I feel about this in 10 months? (Mid-term impact)
How will I feel about this in 10 years? (Long-term impact)
Most of the things that cause immediate distress—that awkward email, a spilled coffee, a missed deadline—will have zero emotional weight in 10 months or 10 years. This exercise instantly shifts your focus from the current drama to the long-term reality, often shrinking the problem down to its true, manageable size.
2. The “Worst-Case Scenario” Check
Our minds are masters of catastrophizing. When we feel anxious, we often jump straight to the most dramatic, scary outcomes without checking the facts.
Next time you feel a worry spiraling, take a moment to define the absolute worst-case scenario. Write it down. Then, ask yourself two more questions:
How likely is this truly to happen? (Be honest, not fearful.)
If it did happen, what is the absolute minimum I could do to recover?
By confronting the “worst” and creating a fallback plan, you strip away its power. You realize that even if the worst happens, you would be okay, and you have the resourcefulness to handle it. You move from panic to planning. This will take a ton of weight off your shoulders.
3. Embrace the “Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence”
This concept, popularized by Stephen Covey, is critical for reducing stress over things you cannot control.
Circle of Concern: Everything you worry about—the economy, the weather, what others think of you, a coworker’s bad mood.
Circle of Influence: The things you can actually do something about—your effort, your attitude, your boundaries, and how you spend your time.
When stress hits, identify what part of the problem falls into your Circle of Influence. Don’t waste energy fretting over the weather (Concern); focus on bringing an umbrella (Influence). By dedicating your time and energy only to what you can control, you become more effective and less burdened.
4. Practice Gratitude Daily
It sounds almost silly, but a consistent gratitude practice is one of the most powerful tools for perspective. When you focus on what you lack or what went wrong, you narrow your vision. Gratitude forces you to widen it.
Take three minutes every morning or evening to list three specific things you are genuinely grateful for. It could be your morning coffee, a good night’s sleep, or the support of a friend.
This simple act reminds you that even on a bad day, your life is filled with existing good things—and the minor setback you’re currently facing doesn’t invalidate any of them. It puts your troubles into a richer, fuller context, which tends to shrink them.
A Final Thought: You Are More Than Your Problems
Remember that you are not your immediate circumstances. Hope is the understanding that our current circumstances are very unlikely to be our permanent circumstances. A bad day is a single data point, not a complete picture of your life. That means we always have hope. When you feel trapped by a current challenge, step back, breathe, and use one of these tools to zoom out.
The ability to keep things in perspective isn’t a trait you’re born with; it’s a skill you build, day by day, worry by worry. Start practicing today, and watch how much smaller and easier to manage your challenges become.
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly
Considersupporting my efforts with a gift!
Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
It’s easy to get stuck in the floaty trap. You know the one, the one that feels like you’re just floating along, letting life happen to you instead of making things happen yourself.
It can be a pretty comfortable feeling until it’s not. Eventually, we get frustrated with floating because, while it feels pretty good, we have little to no control over where we end up.
When we “float” we are subject to the whims of other people and circumstances that we’ve chosen to not control. Floating is a pretty common feeling, and it is easy to stay there way longer than you should. But floating does not have to be a permanent condition.
YOU can take control of your life!
Taking control of your life is about making a conscious decision to be the driver, not the passenger in your life’s journey. It’s about being intentional with your choices and actions, big and small.
Here’s how to start taking control of your life.
Define What “Control” Means to You
First, you need to understand what taking control looks like for you personally. It’s absolutely not the same for everyone. When you get married, for instance, you are willingly and lovingly giving up at least some control to your partner.
So for you, is control about your career? Your health? Your relationships? Your finances? It’s likely a combination of these things and maybe more, but identifying the key areas that feel out of whack is the first step. Grab a notebook, iPad, or whatever, and jot down the parts of your life that feel most chaotic or uncontrolled. This isn’t about judgment; it’s about clarity.
Set Intentional Goals
Once you’ve identified the areas you want to work on, it’s time to set some goals. These shouldn’t be vague wishes. A good goal is SMART:
• Specific: What exactly do you want to achieve?
• Measurable: How will you track your progress?
• Achievable: Is this goal realistic for you right now?
• Relevant: Does this goal align with your values and what you want for your life?
• Time-bound: When do you want to achieve this by?
For example, instead of “I want to get healthy,” try “I will walk for 30 minutes three times a week for the next month.”
Embrace Small Actions
The idea of “taking control” can feel overwhelming. The key is to start small. A big change is just a series of small, consistent actions. If your goal is to save more money, start by packing your lunch once a week instead of buying it. If you want to learn a new skill, commit to 15 minutes of practice a day. These small wins build momentum and confidence, proving to yourself that you are capable of making a change.
Practice Self-Awareness
One of the most powerful tools for taking control is self-awareness. It’s about understanding your habits, triggers, and emotions. Why do you procrastinate? What makes you feel stressed? What are you truly passionate about? The more you understand yourself, the better you can navigate your life’s challenges. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking a few minutes each day to reflect can help you develop this awareness.
Take Responsibility (Without Blame)
This is a tough one, but it’s essential. Taking control means taking responsibility for your choices, ALL your choices, and their outcomes. This is not about blaming yourself for past mistakes. Instead, it’s about acknowledging your role in your current situation. For example, if you’re not happy with your job, instead of blaming your boss or the company, ask yourself, “What can I do to change this situation?” Maybe it’s updating your resume, networking, or taking a course to learn new skills. This shift in perspective is incredibly empowering.
Taking control of your life isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continuous practice. It’s about being proactive, not reactive. By defining your goals, starting with small actions, practicing self-awareness, and taking responsibility, you can begin to steer your life in the direction you want to go.
Things still will not always go your way, but YOU have the power to change directions as many times as are required to put yourself exactly where you want to be. Now that’s control!
So, where will you start?
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly
Considersupporting my efforts with a gift!
Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
One of the questions that Charlie Kirk would frequently ask students on college campuses was, “What do you believe in?”
The question most often came early in a debate with a student who had just told Charlie that everything he, Charlie, believed in was wrong. Terribly wrong as a matter of fact.
So then Charlie would ask the student what they believed in.
In virtually every case, the student would stammer, stutter, and eventually admit they didn’t really know what they believed in. After a bit more conversation, they figured out that most of what they had “heard” about Charlie was nearly totally wrong.
Charlie pursued that line of questioning because he knew if the students didn’t know specifically what they believed in, they were susceptible to believing anything. He also knew it was very common for someone of college age to not have put much thought into what they believe. But guess what? An incredibly large percentage of people of ALL ages have never put much thought into what they truly believe and they too are susceptible to believing anything.
That’s why understanding what you truly believe in is such a powerful step toward living a purposeful and authentic life. Your beliefs shape your decisions, relationships, and how you navigate the world. But in a chaotic world filled with opinions, expectations, and distractions, pinpointing your core beliefs can feel overwhelming.
Especially when so much of what we read and see online is created in China, North Korea, or some other, less-than-friendly country. Throw in the fact that it was created for the express purpose of spreading confusion and hate, and it becomes almost impossible to know what to believe. Unless you are well-grounded by what you’re certain you truly believe in.
This post offers practical steps to help you uncover what you believe in, so you can live with clarity and conviction. So, let’s get into it.
Reflect on Your Experiences
Your life experiences are a window into your beliefs. Take time to reflect on moments that shaped you—both the highs and the lows. Ask yourself:
• What moments in my life felt deeply meaningful or fulfilling? Why?
• When did I feel proud of my actions or choices?
• What situations made me feel uncomfortable or conflicted?
For example, if you felt fulfilled volunteering at a community event, you might value service or connection. If you felt uneasy when someone was treated unfairly, fairness or justice might be a core belief. Write down these moments and look for patterns.
Identify What Sparks Strong Emotions
Your emotions are clues to your beliefs. Pay attention to what makes you angry, inspired, or deeply moved. For instance:
• If you’re outraged by dishonesty in the workplace, you might value integrity.
• If you’re inspired by stories of people overcoming adversity, resilience, or courage could be central to your belief system.
Keep a journal for a week and note situations that evoke strong feelings. Over time, you’ll see recurring themes that point to your core values.
Question the “Shoulds” in Your Life
Many of us adopt beliefs from family, culture, or society without questioning them. To uncover what you believe, challenge the “shoulds” in your life. Ask:
• Why do I feel that I should pursue a certain career, lifestyle, or goal?
• Do these expectations align with who I am, or are they someone else’s values?
For example, if you feel pressure to climb the corporate ladder but find joy in creative pursuits, your belief in personal fulfillment might outweigh societal expectations of success. Be honest about what feels authentic to you. But also be practical; you do need to earn a living, so you need to find the balance between what you want to do and what you need to do. Knowing what you truly believe in helps you find that balance.
Explore Your Role Models
Think about people you admire. What qualities draw you to them? Their courage, kindness, innovation, or determination? These qualities often reflect the beliefs you hold dear. Write down:
• Who inspires me, and why?
• What specific actions or values do they embody that resonate with me?
If you admire someone who speaks out against injustice, you might believe in standing up for what’s right. Use these insights to clarify your own principles.
Test Your Beliefs in Action
Beliefs solidify when you act on them. Experiment by making choices aligned with the values you are exploring. For example:
• If you think you value patriotism, try getting involved in serving your fellow citizens. Forget about the left, right, Democrat or Republican stuff. Serve people first because it’s people who make your country great.
• If you suspect creativity is a core belief, dedicate time to a creative project.
Notice how these actions make you feel. Do they bring a sense of purpose or alignment? If not, adjust and try something else. Action helps you refine what you truly believe.
Ask Big Questions
To dig deeper, confront the big questions about life and purpose. Set aside quiet time to reflect on:
• What do I think is the purpose of life?
• What kind of person do I want to be remembered as?
• If I had one year left to live, what would I prioritize?
These questions can feel daunting, but they cut through superficial distractions and reveal what matters most to you. Write down your answers without overthinking, and revisit them later to see what stands out.
Seek Feedback from Trusted People
Sometimes, others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Ask close friends, family, or mentors:
• What values do you see me living by?
• When have you seen me at my best?
Their answers can highlight beliefs you might not recognize in yourself. For example, a friend might point out that you’re always the first to help others, revealing a belief in kindness and community.
Embrace Change and Growth
Your beliefs aren’t set in stone. As you grow, your values may evolve. What you believed in your 20s might shift in your 30s or beyond. Stay open to reassessing your beliefs as you gain new experiences. Regularly check in with yourself:
• Do my current actions align with my beliefs? If not, why not?
• Have any of my values changed over time?
This flexibility ensures your beliefs remain authentic to who you are now, not who you once were.
Final Thoughts
Knowing what you truly believe in is a journey, not a destination. It requires curiosity, honesty, and a willingness to explore your inner world. By reflecting on your experiences, emotions, and inspirations, you can uncover the values that guide you. Test those values through action, question inherited beliefs, especially question assumed beliefs, and stay open to growth. When you live in alignment with your core beliefs, you will find greater clarity, confidence, and purpose in everything you do.
Start small today: pick one of the steps above and spend 10 minutes reflecting. What do you discover about what you believe in? Jotting down your thoughts in a journal is a great way to keep them close by. Your beliefs are your compass—let them guide you toward a life that feels true to you.
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly
Considersupporting my efforts with a gift!
Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
I’m a little surprised by how often I’m asked by people how to ask for a raise. I don’t normally answer a question with a question, but in this circumstance, I do it anyway. The question I ask is, “Do you deserve a raise?”
I get a variety of answers to that question. Many people say, “well, I need one.” This is where the frustration begins to set in for them. Because my reply is that if I’m your employer, I could care less that you think you need a raise.
I then ask them to explain to me, with a pretty good level of specificity, why they deserve a raise. I want them to tell me what they have done to make themselves more valuable to their employer.
It is my belief that no one is entitled to a raise they didn’t earn just because they have been with a company for a certain period of time.
Consistently increasing the value you bring to your employer is the fastest way to earn a raise. Increasing your value helps you stand out from your colleagues and coworkers. Standing out as a valuable employee not only helps you earn a raise, it can open doors to career growth, job security, and personal fulfillment. Becoming indispensable to your employer isn’t about working harder—it’s about working smarter, aligning your efforts with the company’s goals, and consistently demonstrating your worth.
Here’s a practical guide to increasing your value at work, with actionable steps you can start implementing today.
Understand Your Company’s Goals and Priorities
To be truly valuable, you need to align your work with what matters most to your employer. Take time to understand your company’s mission, vision, and current objectives. Are they focused on increasing revenue, improving customer satisfaction, or streamlining operations? Knowing this helps you prioritize tasks that directly contribute to those goals.
Actionable Steps:
Ask questions: In team meetings or one-on-ones, inquire about the company’s short- and long-term priorities.
Read up: Review company reports, strategic plans, or public communications (e.g., investor updates or press releases) to grasp the bigger picture.
Align your work: Frame your contributions in terms of how they support key objectives. For example, if customer retention is a priority, focus on delivering exceptional service or suggesting process improvements.
Example: If your company is pushing for digital transformation, volunteer to learn a new tool or platform that supports that initiative, like mastering a CRM system or analyzing data to improve decision-making.
Develop In-Demand Skills
Employers value employees who bring expertise that is relevant to the company’s needs. Stay ahead by continuously developing skills that are in demand, both within your role and in the broader industry. This could mean technical skills (e.g., data analysis, coding) or soft skills (e.g., communication, leadership).
Actionable Steps:
Identify skill gaps: Look at job descriptions for roles similar to yours or ask your manager which skills would make you more effective.
Invest in learning: Take online courses (platforms like Coursera, LinkedIn Learning, or Udemy are great), attend workshops, or earn certifications relevant to your field.
Apply your skills: Find opportunities to use your new skills on the job, whether through a special project or by improving an existing process.
Example: If your company uses data to drive decisions, learning basic Excel functions or a tool like Tableau can make you a go-to person for insights, increasing your value.
Take Initiative and Solve Problems
Valuable employees don’t wait for instructions—they proactively identify challenges and propose solutions. Being a problem-solver shows you are invested in the company’s success and can be trusted to handle responsibilities.
Actionable Steps:
Spot inefficiencies: Look for processes, tools, or workflows that could be improved and suggest actionable fixes.
Volunteer for challenges: Offer to lead a project, tackle a tough client issue, or streamline a task that others avoid.
Think ahead: Anticipate potential roadblocks in your team’s work and propose ways to address them before they become problems.
Example: If your team struggles with meeting deadlines due to poor task tracking, propose adopting a project management tool like Trello, or Asana and offer to set it up.
Build Strong Relationships
Your value isn’t just about what you do but how you work with others. Building strong relationships with colleagues, managers, and stakeholders fosters collaboration and makes you a trusted team member.
Actionable Steps:
Communicate effectively: Be clear, concise, and respectful in emails, meetings, and conversations.
Support your team: Offer help to colleagues, share credit for successes, and foster a positive work environment.
Network internally: Get to know people in other departments to understand their roles and how you can support cross-functional goals.
Example: If a coworker is overwhelmed, offer to take on a small task or share a resource that could help them, building goodwill and strengthening team dynamics.
Deliver Consistent, High-Quality Work
Reliability is a cornerstone of value. Employers prize employees who consistently meet or exceed expectations, deliver on time, and maintain high standards.
Actionable Steps:
Set clear goals: Break down large tasks into manageable steps and track your progress to stay on target.
Pay attention to detail: Double-check your work to avoid errors that could cost time or resources.
Seek feedback: Regularly ask for constructive feedback from your manager or peers to improve your performance.
Example: If you’re tasked with preparing a report, ensure it’s error-free, visually clear, and submitted early, demonstrating reliability and professionalism.
Be Adaptable and Embrace Change
Workplaces evolve—new technologies, strategies, or market conditions can shift priorities overnight. Employees who adapt quickly and embrace change are invaluable because they help the company stay agile.
Actionable Steps:
Stay open-minded: Approach new processes or tools with curiosity rather than resistance.
Learn quickly: Take the lead in mastering new systems or workflows, and share your knowledge with others.
Show resilience: Handle setbacks or unexpected changes with a positive attitude and focus on solutions.
Example: If your company adopts a new software platform, take the initiative to learn it early and help train your team, positioning yourself as a resource.
Communicate Your Value
It’s not enough to do great work—you need to make sure your contributions are visible (without being boastful). Employers often notice employees who can articulate their impact.
Actionable Steps:
Track your achievements: Keep a record of your accomplishments, such as projects completed, savings generated, or positive feedback received.
Share updates: In performance reviews or check-ins, highlight specific ways you have contributed to team or company goals.
Be proactive in meetings: Share ideas, insights, or progress updates to demonstrate your engagement.
Example: During a performance review, say, “I streamlined our reporting process, which saved the team 5 hours a week and improved data accuracy by 20%,” to quantify your impact.
Stay Positive and Professional
A positive attitude and professional demeanor make you a pleasure to work with, which enhances your value. Employers appreciate employees who inspire others and maintain composure under pressure.
Actionable Steps:
Stay solution-focused: Even when challenges arise, focus on what can be done rather than dwell on problems.
Show gratitude: Acknowledge others’ contributions and express appreciation for opportunities.
Handle conflict gracefully: Address disagreements calmly and constructively to maintain a positive work environment.
Example: If a project hits a snag, instead of complaining, say, “Let’s brainstorm a few ways to get this back on track,” showing leadership and optimism.
Mentor and Support Others
Helping your colleagues grow not only strengthens the team but also positions you as a leader, even if you’re not in a formal leadership role. Employers value employees who elevate those around them.
Actionable Steps:
Share knowledge: Offer to train a new hire or share tips with a struggling colleague.
Be a team player: Celebrate others’ successes and contribute to a collaborative culture.
Lead by example: Model the behaviors and work ethic you want to see in others.
Example: If a new team member is struggling with a task, spend 15 minutes walking them through it or sharing a helpful resource, showing you’re invested in the team’s success.
Stay Committed to Growth
Valuable employees never stop growing. Commit to continuous self-improvement, both in your role and as a professional, to stay relevant and impactful.
Actionable Steps:
Set personal goals: Identify one or two areas for growth each quarter, such as improving public speaking or mastering a new tool.
Seek mentorship: Connect with a mentor or manager who can guide your career development.
Stay curious: Read industry blogs, attend webinars, or follow thought leaders on platforms like X to stay informed about trends.
Example: Follow industry leaders on X to learn about emerging trends in your field, then share a relevant insight with your team to spark discussion.
Final Thoughts
Being more valuable to your employer is about aligning your efforts with their goals, continuously improving yourself, and making a positive impact on your team and organization. By taking initiative, building skills, and developing strong relationships, you’ll not only increase your worth but also create a more rewarding work experience for yourself.
Start small—pick one or two of these steps to focus on this week. Over time, these efforts will compound, making you an indispensable asset to your employer and setting you up for long-term career success.
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly
Considersupporting my efforts with a gift!
Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
One of the questions I always ask when interviewing a prospective candidate for a position is this: What is most important, a person’s ability to do the job or their “fit” within the organization?
Their answer to the question isn’t all that important to me, but I challenge them to explain their answer with a high level of detail. I want to know why they made the choice they made. Have they put some thought into the answer beforehand or was it an “off the cuff” answer because they had to say something? I’ll camp out on this question for a while; I want to see some critical thinking skills, or determine if those kinds of skills exist at all.
I need to know if they are willing to work with people who may not “fit” the stereotype for a particular position. If they are willing to work with someone they consider outside the “norm,” I want to know how they intend to do it.
I’m very interested in that because one of the greatest tests of leadership is guiding people who see the world differently than you do. Differences in background, personality, experience, or values can create friction, but they can also be a leader’s greatest asset if handled well. A strong leader learns not only to navigate differences but to leverage them for better ideas, stronger teams, and lasting results.
Start with Respect
Respect is the foundation of trust. You don’t have to agree with someone’s perspective to respect it. By showing genuine interest in people’s stories and experiences, you communicate that who they are matters. Respect opens the door to influence. Influence is the essence of Authentic Leadership.
Lead with Curiosity, Not Assumptions
When leading people who are different from you, assumptions are your enemy. Instead of filling in the blanks with what you think they mean, ask questions. Listen actively. Be curious about how their perspective shapes their work. You’ll often discover insights you would have missed. Odds are, you will learn more from people who think differently than you than you will from people who think the same.
Focus on Shared Goals
Differences matter, but so does a common purpose. Remind your team of what unites them—the mission, the vision, the results they’re working toward. A shared goal gives diverse people a reason to bring their best, even when they don’t see eye to eye.
Adjust Your Communication
Leaders who succeed with diverse groups adapt their communication styles. Some people value directness; others prefer diplomacy. Some want details; others just the big picture. Pay attention to how people receive information, not just how you like to give it.
Appreciate the Strength in Differences
What feels like a challenge at first—different opinions, working styles, or priorities—can actually make your team stronger. Diverse perspectives push ideas forward, uncover blind spots, and prevent groupthink. If everyone thinks like you, your team’s potential is very limited.
Lead with Humility
A humble leader admits they don’t have all the answers. When you’re willing to learn from people who are different than you, you not only grow as a leader but also create a culture where differences are valued instead of discouraged.
Final Thought: Leading people who are very different than you isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about expanding your ability to understand and inspire others. The best leaders don’t just tolerate differences; they leverage them to build stronger, more productive, and resilient teams.
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly
Considersupporting my efforts with a gift!
Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
