Month June 2025

How to Deal with People Who Seem to Lack Common Sense

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I started writing this post when I was flat-out mad. I mean really, really mad. So mad that I completely forgot about the post I wrote a few weeks ago about losing your temper.

So I put the post aside until I settled down a bit. I hope that makes for a better post, but honestly, as I start writing again, the urge to strangle a certain someone is building again.

That certain someone is an individual who appears to lack even a shred of common sense. So here’s the deal: she shows up 7 damn hours late to a party. I guess she didn’t notice hardly anyone was still there. Apparently, she didn’t notice the tables of well-picked-over food either. Then, after annoyingly hanging around for another two hours, she didn’t get the many, many hints that it was long past time to leave. As for me, I just got madder with every passing minute, which she also seemed oblivious to.

That is the genesis of this post. With that information in hand, let’s get to it.

Interacting with someone who appears to lack common sense is, for many of us, frustrating, whether it’s a coworker, friend, or family member. Their decisions or actions might seem illogical, impractical, or downright baffling, leaving you wondering how to deal with the situation without losing your patience.

While it’s tempting to dismiss them or get irritated, there are actually constructive ways to handle these interactions with empathy and effectiveness. With my very recent experience in mind, here are some things I could have done to better manage the situation with a person who seemed to miss the mark on basic common sense.

Practice Patience and Empathy

Before jumping to conclusions, consider that what seems like a lack of common sense might stem from different perspectives, experiences, or knowledge gaps. Not everyone processes information the same way, and what’s obvious to you might not be obvious to them.

Pause and reflect: Take a deep breath before reacting. Remind yourself that their behavior isn’t necessarily intentional or malicious.

Put yourself in their shoes: They might be distracted, stressed, or unaware of certain social or practical cues. For example, someone who grew up in a different environment might not share the same “common” knowledge.

Ask questions: Instead of assuming they’re clueless, ask why they made a certain choice. This can reveal their thought process and help you understand their perspective. I still don’t know why this person was 7 hours late; I never asked; I was just mad they showed up when the party was basically over.

Empathy doesn’t mean excusing poor decisions, but it helps you approach the situation calmly and constructively.

Communicate Clearly and Directly

People who seem to lack common sense might benefit from straightforward communication. Avoid vague hints like I gave or assumptions about what they “should” know.

Be specific: If you’re explaining something, break it down into clear, simple steps. For example, instead of saying, “Just figure it out,” say, “Here’s what needs to happen: Step 1, do this; Step 2, do that.”

Use examples: Concrete examples can make abstract ideas easier to grasp. If you’re teaching someone how to manage a task, show them how it’s done rather than relying on verbal instructions alone.

Check for understanding: Ask them to repeat or summarize what you’ve explained to ensure they’re on the same page.

Clear communication reduces misunderstandings and helps bridge the gap between your expectations and their actions.

Set Realistic Expectations

Not everyone operates at the same level of practical reasoning, and expecting them to suddenly “get it” can lead to frustration. Adjust your expectations to match their abilities.

Accept their limitations: Just as you wouldn’t expect a beginner to excel at a complex skill, don’t expect someone with weaker problem-solving skills to instantly improve.

Focus on progress, not perfection: Celebrate small improvements in their decision-making or behavior. Positive reinforcement can encourage growth over time.

Know when to step back: If their lack of common sense creates ongoing issues, decide whether it’s worth your energy to address it or if you’re better off limiting your involvement.

By setting realistic expectations, you’ll reduce your own stress and create a more productive dynamic. I think if I had “considered the source” of my frustration, I’d have been less frustrated and a whole lot less mad.

Offer Guidance, Not Criticism

Pointing out someone’s mistakes in a harsh or condescending way can make them defensive, shutting down any chance for improvement. Instead, frame your advice as helpful guidance.

Use “I” statements: Instead of saying, “You never think things through,” try, “I’ve noticed that this approach might not be working. Can I suggest another way?”

Offer solutions: If they’re struggling with a task, provide a practical solution rather than dwelling on what they did wrong. For example, “I see you’re having trouble with this. Let’s try organizing it this way.”

Be encouraging: Acknowledge their efforts, even if the outcome isn’t ideal. A little encouragement can motivate them to keep trying.

Guidance fosters growth, while criticism can make someone feel attacked and less likely to change.

Know When to Set Boundaries

If someone’s lack of common sense consistently disrupts your life—whether it’s a coworker missing deadlines or a friend making reckless decisions—it’s okay to set boundaries.

Limit your exposure: If their behavior is draining, reduce how much time or energy you invest in the relationship. Politely decline tasks or interactions that aren’t essential.

Delegate or redirect: If you’re in a workplace, delegate tasks to others or involve a supervisor if their actions impact your work. For personal relationships, redirect them to resources or people better equipped to help.

Protect your peace: If their lack of common sense leads to chaos, prioritize your mental health. It’s okay to say, “I can’t help with this right now, but I’m happy to talk later.”

This was far from our first frustrating experience with this person, but my wife and I have already agreed it will definitely be our last. Our new boundaries have been set and are intended to ensure we won’t be overwhelmed by her actions again.

Model Common Sense

Sometimes, leading by example is the best way to influence someone’s behavior. Demonstrate practical decision-making in your own actions.

Show, don’t tell: If they struggle with time management, for instance, share how you organize your schedule or prioritize tasks.

Explain your reasoning: When making decisions, briefly explain your thought process. For example, “I’m doing it this way because it saves time and avoids mistakes.”

Be consistent: Consistently modeling logical, practical behavior can subtly encourage them to adopt similar habits over time.

Your actions can serve as a guide without you needing to explicitly correct them.

Recognize When It’s Not Your Responsibility

You can’t “fix” someone’s lack of common sense, and it’s not your job to do so. If their behavior doesn’t directly affect you, consider letting it go.

Focus on what you can control: You can’t change their thought process, but you can control how you respond and interact.

Let them learn from consequences: Sometimes, natural consequences (like showing up to an event after the food is gone) are the best teachers.

Recognizing the limits of your responsibility allows you to overlook some of the other people’s lack of awareness.

Final Thought

Dealing with people who seem to lack common sense requires a balance of patience, clear communication, and self-awareness. By approaching them with empathy, offering guidance, and setting boundaries, you can maintain positive interactions without letting frustration take over.

Remember that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses—what seems like a lack of common sense might just be a gap in experience or perspective.

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How to Admit a Mistake: A Guide to Owning Up with Grace and Growth

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I once made a mistake. It was the time I thought I’d made a mistake, but I was actually mistaken. Other than that, I’m totally mistake-free.

It would be sad if that were true because being mistake free also means you are almost certainly success-free as well. Some famous person once said mistakes are proof that you’re trying. I happen to think that’s incredibly true.

But despite the truth in that statement, many people either deny their mistakes altogether or attempt to shift blame onto someone else. That robs them of the opportunity to grow from the mistake. In most cases, it prevents them from learning from it, and it frequently causes them to repeat the mistake.

Making mistakes is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s a universal part of being human. Whether it’s a misstep at work, a misunderstanding in a relationship, or a personal error in judgment, we all mess up at some point. What sets us apart is how we handle those mistakes. Admitting a mistake can feel daunting, but it’s a powerful act of accountability that develops trust, growth, and resilience. Here’s a step-by-step guide to owning up to your errors with grace and authenticity, ensuring you turn a misstep into an opportunity for learning and connection.

1. Acknowledge the Mistake to Yourself First

Before you can admit a mistake to others, you need to be honest with yourself. This requires self-reflection and the courage to face your error head-on. Ask yourself: What went wrong? What was my role in it? Avoid the temptation to rationalize or deflect blame. For example, if you missed a project deadline, don’t immediately point to external factors like a busy schedule. Instead, consider how your time management or communication may have contributed.

This step is crucial because it grounds your apology in sincerity. Owning your mistake internally helps you approach the situation with clarity and humility, rather than defensiveness. Take a moment to process your emotions—guilt, embarrassment, or frustration—without letting them derail your commitment to making things right.

2. Take Responsibility Without Excuses

When admitting a mistake, clarity and directness are key. State what you did wrong without diluting your accountability with excuses or justifications. A simple, “I made a mistake by [specific action], and I’m sorry,” is far more effective than, “I messed up, but I was overwhelmed.” Excuses, even if valid, can come across as shirking responsibility.

For instance, if you gave incorrect information during a meeting, say, “I shared inaccurate data in our last discussion, and I take full responsibility for that.” This approach demonstrates integrity and signals that you’re focused on correcting the error rather than deflecting blame.

3. Apologize Sincerely and Specifically

A genuine apology is the cornerstone of admitting a mistake. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for and acknowledge the impact of your actions. A vague “I’m sorry if I upset you” can feel dismissive. Instead, try, “I’m sorry for overlooking your feedback on the report. I realize it made you feel unheard, and that was not my intention.”

Tailor your apology to the context and the person affected. In professional settings, keep it concise and focused on the issue. In personal relationships, you might add a touch of warmth to show you value the connection. Always express regret for the harm caused, not just for the fact that you were caught or called out.

4. Offer a Solution or Plan to Make Amends

Admitting a mistake is only half the equation; showing a commitment to fixing it completes the process. Propose a concrete plan to address the issue or prevent it from happening again. If you missed a deadline, outline how you’ll prioritize tasks moving forward. If you hurt someone’s feelings, explain how you’ll be more mindful in the future.

For example, after admitting to a factual error in a presentation, you might say, “I’ve double-checked the data and will send a corrected version by tomorrow. I’m also setting up a review process to ensure this doesn’t happen again.” This demonstrates initiative and reassures others that you’re taking the mistake seriously.

5. Learn and Grow from the Experience

Mistakes are invaluable teachers if you’re willing to learn from them. Reflect on what led to the error and identify actionable steps to improve. Did you rush through a task? Miscommunicate expectations? Underestimate a challenge? Use these insights to refine your skills or habits.

Sharing your takeaways with others can also rebuild trust. For instance, in a team setting, you might say, “This taught me to verify my sources more thoroughly, and I’m implementing that going forward.” This shows you’re not just apologizing but actively working to become better.

6. Move Forward with Confidence

Once you’ve admitted and addressed your mistake, let go of lingering guilt and focus on moving forward. Dwelling on the error can undermine your confidence and distract from your growth. Recognize that owning your mistake is a strength, not a weakness, and trust that others will respect your accountability.

If the mistake was public or significant, give others time to process your apology. Stay consistent in your actions to reinforce that your commitment to change is genuine. Over time, your willingness to admit and learn from mistakes will earn you more respect than perfection ever could.

Why Admitting Mistakes Matters

In a world that often rewards bravado and deflects blame, admitting a mistake is a radical act of courage. It builds trust, strengthens relationships, and creates a culture of accountability—whether at work, home, or in your community. By owning your errors, you model humility and resilience, inspiring others to do the same.

Mistakes don’t define you; how you handle them does. The next time you mess up, see it as an opportunity to grow. Acknowledge your error, apologize sincerely, make amends, and commit to doing better. In doing so, you’ll not only mend the moment but also pave the way for stronger connections and personal growth.

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The Power of Perseverance: Turning Dreams into Reality

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Research shows that people frequently give up just moments before they would have achieved the success they had been working for. I remember a restaurant in Minneapolis that went out of business in 2014. They had been a business for a while, 99 years and 9 months to be exact. Just three months more and they would have been in business for 100 years. It would have been an amazing accomplishment.

I was so surprised by this news that I went to talk with the owners to find out why they couldn’t persevere for just a few more months. They actually had very sound and well-grounded business reasons for their decision. So many food trucks had popped up in their neighborhood that they just couldn’t make money anymore. They felt like they were throwing good money after bad.

While it was a logical decision, a part of me still felt like, screw the money, go for 100 years.

But they were smart people; they had persevered for over 99 years. Instead of making the emotional decision that I would have made, they made a good business decision. Lots of people are like me; we make emotional decisions, and often, those decisions prevent us from succeeding when success is literally right around the corner.

We, almost all of us at times, lack perseverance.

Perseverance is the quiet force that turns dreams into reality. It’s the grit that keeps us moving forward when obstacles loom large, the resolve that pushes us to rise after every fall, and the unwavering commitment to our goals despite setbacks. In a world that often celebrates instant success, perseverance reminds us that true achievement is a marathon, not a sprint. This blog post explores why perseverance matters, how it shapes success, and practical ways to cultivate it in our lives.

Why Perseverance Matters

At its core, perseverance is about staying the course when things get tough. Life is rarely a straight path to success—whether you’re chasing a career goal, building a business, or working on personal growth, challenges are inevitable. Perseverance is what separates those who succeed from those who give up. It’s the difference between a half-finished novel and a published book, or a failed startup and a thriving company.

Consider the story of Thomas Edison, who famously conducted thousands of experiments before perfecting the light bulb. Each failure was a lesson, not a defeat. Or think of J.K. Rowling, who faced countless rejections before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon. These icons didn’t possess superhuman talent or luck—they had perseverance. They kept going, refining their craft, learning from mistakes, and refusing to let setbacks define them.

Perseverance isn’t just about grand achievements. It’s also the daily grind: the student who studies through exhaustion, the athlete who trains despite injury, or the parent who balances work and family through sheer determination. It’s the ability to keep showing up, day after day, even when the results aren’t immediate.

The Science Behind Perseverance

Research backs up the power of perseverance. Psychologist Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, argues that grit—a combination of passion and perseverance—is a stronger predictor of success than talent or IQ. Her studies show that individuals who persist through challenges, maintain long-term goals, and stay committed despite adversity are more likely to achieve their ambitions.

Neuroscience also sheds light on why perseverance works. When we push through difficulties, our brains adapt, strengthening neural pathways associated with resilience and problem-solving. This process, known as neuroplasticity, means that perseverance not only helps us achieve specific goals but also makes us better equipped to handle future challenges. Each time we choose to keep going, we’re training our brains to thrive under pressure.

How Perseverance Shapes Success

1. It Builds Resilience: Perseverance teaches us to bounce back from failure. Each setback becomes a stepping stone, helping us develop the emotional strength to face future hurdles.

2. It Fosters Growth: Challenges force us to learn, adapt, and improve. Perseverance ensures we don’t shy away from the discomfort of growth, whether it’s mastering a new skill or overcoming personal limitations.

3. It Cultivates Confidence: Every small victory earned through persistence boosts self-belief. Over time, these wins compound, creating a sense of capability that fuels further effort.

4. It Inspires Others: Perseverance is contagious. When we push through adversity, we show others what’s possible, motivating them to pursue their own goals with tenacity.

Cultivating Perseverance in Your Life

While some people may seem naturally gritty, perseverance is a skill that can be developed. Here are practical ways to harness its power:

1. Set Clear Goals: Define what you’re working toward and why it matters. A strong sense of purpose fuels perseverance. Break big goals into smaller, manageable steps to maintain momentum.

2. Embrace Failure as Feedback: Reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently next time?” instead of dwelling on what went wrong.

3. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who encourage and challenge you. A mentor, friend, or community can provide perspective and motivation when the going gets tough.

4. Practice Self-Discipline: Perseverance often requires doing what is necessary, even when you do not feel like it. Create routines, eliminate distractions, and focus on consistent effort over time.

5. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge progress, no matter how small. Recognizing milestones keeps you motivated and reminds you that every step forward counts.

6. Stay Flexible: Perseverance doesn’t mean stubbornly sticking to one path. Be willing to pivot, adapt, and find new ways to approach your goals when circumstances change.

7. Take Care of Yourself: Physical and mental well-being are crucial for sustained effort. Prioritize sleep, exercise, and stress management to maintain the energy needed to persevere.

Real-Life Examples of Perseverance

To illustrate the power of perseverance, let’s look at a well-known modern example:

Elon Musk: Before SpaceX and Tesla became household names, Musk faced near bankruptcy, technical failures, and intense criticism. His relentless pursuit of his vision—despite multiple rocket explosions and financial struggles—led to groundbreaking innovations in space travel and electric vehicles.

Everyday Heroes: Think of the single parent working two jobs to provide for their family, or the small business owner navigating economic uncertainty. These unsung stories of perseverance remind us that grit exists in all walks of life.

Overcoming the Temptation to Quit

There will be moments when giving up feels like the easier option. Doubt, fatigue, and frustration can erode even the strongest resolve. When this happens, remind yourself why you started. Revisit your goals, reflect on how far you’ve come, and focus on the next small step. Sometimes, perseverance means simply refusing to quit today.

It’s also worth noting that perseverance doesn’t mean blindly pushing forward at all costs. Knowing when to rest, reassess, or seek help is just as important as staying the course. Perseverance is about balance—knowing when to grind and when to pivot.

The Ripple Effect of Perseverance

Perseverance doesn’t just transform individual lives; it creates a ripple effect. When you persevere, you inspire others to do the same. Your determination can motivate a colleague to tackle a tough project, encourage a friend to pursue their passion, or show your children the value of hard work. In a world full of challenges, perseverance is a beacon of hope, proving that progress is possible even in the face of adversity.

Final Thoughts

The power of perseverance lies in its ability to transform obstacles into opportunities, failures into lessons, and dreams into reality. It’s not about being the smartest, the strongest, or the luckiest—it’s about showing up, day after day, with the courage to keep going. By setting clear goals, embracing setbacks, and nurturing resilience, we can all harness the strength of perseverance to achieve our greatest aspirations.

So, the next time you face a challenge, remember: perseverance isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting up one more time than you fall. That’s where the magic happens. Keep going. Keep going. Always keep going.

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How to Manage Life with a Narcissist

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Most people would describe someone with narcissistic tendencies as a basic jerk. But narcissism is much more complex than that. Navigating relationships with a narcissist—whether it’s a family member, partner, friend, or colleague—can be emotionally draining and beyond frustrating.

Narcissists most often exhibit self-centered behavior, a need for constant admiration, and a lack of empathy, which can make interactions feel one-sided or manipulative. While you can’t change a narcissist, you can adopt strategies to protect yourself and manage these relationships effectively. Here’s a few tips on how to deal with a narcissist.

Understand Narcissistic Behavior

The first step in dealing with a narcissist is recognizing their traits. These are not just jerks or self-absorbed people. They are much more difficult, even dangerous, to deal with. Narcissists often:

• Seek excessive admiration and attention.

• Lack empathy for others’ feelings.

• Exaggerate their achievements or importance.

• Manipulate or exploit others to meet their needs.

• React poorly to criticism, often becoming defensive or aggressive.

Understanding that their behavior stems from deep-seated insecurities or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can help you avoid taking their actions personally. This perspective allows you to approach interactions with clarity rather than frustration.

Set Firm Boundaries

Narcissists don’t just push your buttons; they often push limits to maintain control or attention. Setting clear, firm boundaries is essential to protect your emotional health.

• Be specific: Clearly state what behaviors are unacceptable (e.g., “I won’t tolerate being interrupted or belittled in conversations”).

• Stay consistent: Narcissists may test your boundaries, so enforce them calmly and consistently.

• Limit personal disclosures: Narcissists may use personal information against you, so share cautiously.

For example, if a narcissistic coworker constantly takes credit for your work, politely but firmly address it in the moment or involve a supervisor to establish accountability.

Don’t Engage in Power Struggles

Narcissists thrive on drama and control. Engaging in arguments or trying to “win” can escalate conflicts and feed their need for attention.

• Stay calm: Keep your emotions in check, even when provoked. Use neutral responses like, “I hear you, but I don’t agree.”

• Avoid flattery or criticism: Praising them excessively fuels their ego, while criticism may trigger defensiveness or retaliation.

• Use the “gray rock” method: Be as emotionally unresponsive as possible, like a dull, uninteresting rock. This reduces their incentive to engage with you manipulatively.

For instance, if a narcissistic family member tries to bait you into an argument, respond with brief, neutral statements and redirect the conversation.

Focus on Your Own Needs

Narcissists often demand that others prioritize their needs, which can leave you feeling depleted. Reclaim your energy by:

• Practicing self-care: Engage in activities that boost your mental and emotional health, like exercise, journaling, or spending time with supportive people.

• Seeking validation internally: Don’t rely on a narcissist for approval, as they are unlikely to provide it genuinely.

• Building a support network: Surround yourself with empathetic friends, family, or a mentor who can validate your experiences and offer perspective.

If you’re dealing with a narcissistic partner, for example, carve out time for hobbies or friendships that remind you of your worth outside of the relationship.

Communicate Strategically

When you must interact with a narcissist, tailor your communication to minimize conflict and maintain control:

• Use “I” statements: Frame your needs in terms of your feelings (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when conversations focus only on one topic.”)

• Keep it brief: Narcissists may twist long explanations, so be concise and clear.

• Appeal to their self-interest: If you need their cooperation, frame requests in a way that benefits them (e.g., “If we finish this project early, it will make you look great to the team”).

For example, if a narcissistic boss demands constant updates, propose a streamlined reporting system that saves them time while meeting your needs for autonomy.

Know When to Walk Away

Sometimes, the healthiest option is to limit or end contact with a narcissist, especially if their behavior becomes toxic or abusive.

• Assess the relationship: If the narcissist consistently undermines your mental health or self-esteem, consider distancing yourself.

• Plan your exit: If it’s a romantic or professional relationship, prepare emotionally and logistically (e.g., securing finances or documenting workplace issues).

• Go no-contact if necessary: In extreme cases, cutting off communication entirely may be the best way to protect yourself.

For instance, if a narcissistic friend repeatedly dismisses your feelings, reducing contact or politely declining invitations can help you regain peace.

Seek Professional Support

Dealing with a narcissist can be isolating and confusing. A therapist or counselor can provide:

• Tools to cope with emotional manipulation.

• Validation of your experiences.

• Strategies to rebuild self-esteem and set boundaries.

If you suspect the narcissist in your life has NPD, a mental health professional can help you understand the condition and its impact on your relationship.

Educate Yourself Continuously

Knowledge is power when dealing with a narcissist. Books, reputable online resources, or support groups can offer insights and strategies. Some recommended reads include:

• Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary

• The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor Payson

Additionally, forums or communities (like those on X) can connect you with others who have faced similar challenges, offering practical tips and emotional support.

Final Thoughts

People with narcissistic tendencies seem to be somewhat common, so sooner or later you’re going to run into one. Successfully interacting with that narcissist requires patience, strategy, and a commitment to your own well-being. By setting boundaries, staying in control of your emotions, and knowing when to step back, you can navigate these relationships without losing your self-respect, temper, or control.

Remember that you can’t change a narcissist, but you can decide how you will respond and protect your peace.

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But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

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Why Denial Limits Success

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. It’s actually a powerful psychological defense mechanism. Psychologists say it’s the mind’s way of shielding us from truths too painful, complex, or inconvenient to face. While it can offer temporary relief, denial often comes at a steep cost, creating ripple effects that harm individuals, relationships, and effective decision-making.

In this post, we’ll explore the dangers of denial, why it’s so pervasive, and how confronting reality—however uncomfortable—can lead to growth and positive change.

What Is Denial?

Technically speaking, denial is the refusal to acknowledge or accept an uncomfortable truth. It can manifest in small ways, like ignoring a bad habit, or in larger, more consequential ways, such as dismissing systemic issues or personal health concerns. Psychologically, denial serves as a coping mechanism to avoid anxiety, guilt, or fear. But when it becomes a habit, it prevents us from addressing problems head-on, allowing them to fester and grow.

The Personal Toll of Denial

On an individual level, denial can be a silent saboteur. Consider someone who ignores early signs of a health issue, like persistent fatigue or chest pain, convincing themselves it’s “just stress.” By avoiding medical attention, they risk worsening their condition, potentially leading to severe consequences. According to the American Heart Association, delays in seeking treatment for heart attack symptoms contribute to thousands of preventable deaths each year.

Denial also affects mental health. Suppressing emotions or refusing to acknowledge struggles—like addiction, depression, or trauma—can deepen those issues. For example, studies show that individuals who deny their substance abuse problems are less likely to seek treatment, prolonging their suffering and impacting those around them. Denial creates a cycle where avoidance replaces action, trapping people in patterns that are hard to break.

The Ripple Effect on Relationships

Denial doesn’t just harm the individual; it strains relationships. When someone refuses to acknowledge their role in conflicts—whether it’s a partner dismissing their hurtful behavior or a friend ignoring a betrayal—it erodes trust. Relationships thrive on honesty and accountability, but denial builds walls, preventing meaningful communication and resolution.

In families, denial can be particularly destructive. Parents who deny their child’s struggles, such as mental health issues or behavioral problems, may delay critical interventions. This not only affects the child’s well-being but can also create tension and resentment within the family.

Why Do We Deny?

Denial often stems from fear—of change, consequences, or vulnerability. Accepting a difficult truth might mean admitting fault, facing loss, or taking on responsibility. For some, denial feels like control in an uncertain world. Cognitive biases, like confirmation bias, also play a role, leading us to seek information that aligns with our beliefs while ignoring contradictory evidence.

Cultural and social factors can amplify denial. In environments where vulnerability is stigmatized, people may feel pressured to “keep it together” rather than confront issues. Misinformation, especially in the age of social media, can reinforce denial by providing false narratives that feel more comfortable than the truth.

Breaking Free from Denial

Overcoming denial requires courage and self-awareness. Here are a few steps to start:

1. Pause and Reflect: Take time to examine your beliefs and behaviors. Are you avoiding something out of fear or discomfort? Journaling or talking with a trusted friend can help uncover blind spots.

2. Seek Evidence: Look for objective information to challenge your assumptions. For example, if you’re denying a health issue, consult a professional or research credible sources.

3. Embrace Vulnerability: Accepting difficult truths can feel exposing, but vulnerability is a strength. It opens the door to growth and connection.

4. Take Small Steps: Facing reality doesn’t mean solving everything at once. Break problems into manageable pieces and address them one by one.

5. Seek Support: Whether it’s a support group or a mentor, external perspectives can help you navigate denial and build accountability.

The Power of Facing Reality

Confronting denial isn’t easy, but it’s liberating. By acknowledging truths—whether personal, relational, or societal—we empower ourselves to act. A person who admits they need help can seek treatment and heal. The alternative—clinging to denial—only deepens the damage, leaving us stuck in a cycle of avoidance and regret.

The dangers of denial lie in its ability to delay, distract, and destroy. But by choosing to face reality, we open the door to solutions, growth, and hope. The truth may be uncomfortable, but it is also the foundation for a better future. Why not take the first step today?

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How Listening Leads to Success

Steve Keating Leave a comment

We live in a world with constant noise—social media notifications, endless meetings, and the pressure to always have something to say—that makes it easy to overlook the quiet power of listening.

Yet, time and again, the most successful people across industries, from entrepreneurs to artists to leaders, credit one skill above others: the ability to truly listen. Listening isn’t just hearing words; it’s an active, intentional practice that unlocks opportunities, creates connections, and drives meaningful progress. Here’s why mastering the art of listening can pave your path to success.

1. Listening Builds Stronger Relationships

Success rarely happens in isolation. Whether you’re leading a team, negotiating a deal, or nurturing personal connections, relationships are the foundation of achievement. Active listening—paying full attention, asking thoughtful questions, and showing genuine interest—creates trust and respect.

When you listen to understand rather than to respond, people feel valued. A study from Harvard Business Review found that leaders who practice empathetic listening foster higher levels of loyalty and engagement in their teams. For example, a manager who listens to an employee’s concerns about workload doesn’t just solve a problem—they build a bond that inspires that employee to go the extra mile. Strong relationships, rooted in listening, open doors to collaboration, mentorship, and opportunities that propel you forward.

2. Listening Sparks Innovation

The best ideas often come from unexpected places, but you’ll miss them if you’re too busy talking. Listening to customers, colleagues, or even critics can uncover insights that fuel innovation. Take Steve Jobs, who famously listened to user feedback about clunky MP3 players in the early 2000s. That input, combined with his team’s creativity, led to the iPod—a product that revolutionized the music industry.

Listening doesn’t mean blindly following every suggestion. It means absorbing different perspectives, identifying patterns, and converting them into something new. Entrepreneurs who listen to their market’s pain points can create solutions that resonate. Artists who listen to their audience’s emotions can craft work that moves people. Success often comes from hearing what others might overlook.

3. Listening Sharpens Decision-Making

Decisions shape outcomes, and good decisions require good information. Listening—whether to data, expert advice, or the nuances of a conversation—gives you the clarity to choose wisely. A 2023 study by McKinsey found that executives who actively seek out and listen to diverse viewpoints make more effective strategic decisions, avoiding costly missteps.

Consider a scenario: a CEO is deciding whether to launch a new product. By listening to their team’s concerns about market readiness and customer feedback from early testing, they pivot to refine the product first. That choice, informed by listening, saves millions and builds a stronger launch. Listening helps you gather the full picture, reducing blind spots and boosting confidence in your choices.

4. Listening Cultivates Empathy

Empathy is a superpower in today’s world. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it starts with listening. Empathetic leaders, salespeople, and creators succeed because they connect on a human level. When you listen to someone’s story—whether it’s a client’s frustration or a friend’s dream—you gain insight into what drives them. That understanding allows you to tailor your approach, whether you’re closing a sale or inspiring a team.

Oprah Winfrey, one of the most successful media moguls, often credits her listening skills for her ability to connect with millions. By listening deeply to her guests and audience, she created a platform that resonated globally. Empathy through listening builds loyalty and influence, key ingredients for lasting success.

5. Listening Fuels Personal Growth

Success isn’t just about external achievements; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. Listening—to mentors, critics, or even your own intuition—drives personal growth. Feedback, even when it stings, is a gift if you’re willing to hear it. A 2024 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology showed that individuals who actively seek and listen to constructive feedback are more likely to improve their performance over time.

Listening also means being present with yourself. Taking time to reflect on your experiences, values, and goals helps you align your actions with your vision of success. Meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in silence can be forms of listening to your inner voice, guiding you toward better choices.

How to Become a Better Listener

Listening is a skill you can hone. Here are practical steps to make it second nature:

Be Present: Put away distractions. Silence your phone, maintain eye contact, and focus fully on the speaker.

Ask Questions: Show curiosity by asking open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more?” or “What do you mean by that?”

Pause Before Responding: Take a moment to process what you’ve heard before jumping in. This shows respect and helps you respond thoughtfully.

Practice Empathy: Try to understand the speaker’s emotions, not just their words. Reflect back what you hear: “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because…”

Seek Feedback: Ask trusted peers or mentors how you can improve your listening skills. Then, listen to their advice.

The Ripple Effect of Listening

Listening isn’t a passive act—it’s a catalyst. It transforms conversations, relationships, and outcomes. When you listen, you signal to others that their ideas matter, which inspires them to share more. You gain insights that spark creativity, make smarter decisions, and grow as a person. From boardrooms to creative studios to personal relationships, the ability to listen sets you apart in a world that is often too loud to hear.

Success isn’t about having the loudest voice; it’s about having the sharpest ears. Start listening today, and watch how it opens doors you never knew existed.

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How to Control Your Temper

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I don’t know about you but it seems to me that there are a lot more people running around with short fuses than there used to be. I might even be one of them. This might seem strange coming from someone as active on social media as I am, but on balance I don’t think social media has been good for society.

I work hard to try and add meaningful content online, the type of content that can help people reach their full potential. I also comment on the news of the day at times, but overall, I think my posts are solid information that can help others grow.

But besides social media, there are lots of things that get under our skin. The idea that the customer is king seems almost quaint these days. It is hard not to get the impression that you’re merely an annoyance when doing business, especially in a retail establishment.

Then there’s a political “discussion.” We won’t even go there. Just the word “politics” is enough to set some people—maybe a lot of people—off.

But we would do well to remember that when we allow other people, circumstances, or situations to make us angry, we lose. We lose control; we risk losing our dignity, we risk losing a relationship, maybe even a long-term relationship.

Anger is a natural emotion; at timess we all become angry. But when it spirals out of control, it can strain friendships, cloud judgment, and even impact your health. Learning to manage your temper is a skill that creates emotional well-being and better interactions with others. So here’s a practical guide that may help you keep your cool, even when you can feel that heat start to build up under your collar.

1. Recognize The Source

The first step to controlling your temper is understanding what sets it off. Triggers can be specific situations, people, or even internal states like stress or fatigue. Pay attention to patterns—do you get frustrated in traffic, during arguments, or when feeling overwhelmed? Keeping a mental note of these moments helps you anticipate and prepare for them.

Tip: Reflect on recent moments when you lost your temper. What happened right before? Identifying these cues helps you act proactively.

2. Pause and Breathe

When anger flares, your body reacts—heart rate spikes, muscles tense, and breathing quickens. A simple way to interrupt this cycle is to pause and focus on your breath. Deep, slow breathing signals your brain to calm down, reducing the intensity of your emotions.

Try this: Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, then exhale slowly through your mouth for six. Repeat three to five times. This quick technique can ground you in the moment. Doing this in the middle of a face-to-face confrontation might not make sense, so if need be, excuse yourself for a moment, and then try breathing your way out of the anger.

3. Step Away (Temporarily)

Again, if you feel your temper rising, give yourself permission to step away from the situation. A brief break—whether it’s walking away from an argument or taking a moment alone—can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret. Giving yourself a bit of distance from the source of your frustration is NOT running away. It’s strategic, and it increases the likelihood you’ll be thinking with a clear mind.

How to do it: Politely excuse yourself if possible (“I need a moment to think”) or physically distance yourself from the trigger. Use this time to cool off and gain perspective.

4. Reframe Your Thoughts

Anger often stems from how we interpret situations. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you might think, “They’re such an ______!” This fuels rage. Instead, try thinking: “Maybe they’re in a hurry or didn’t see me.” Shifting your perspective reduces the emotional charge.

Practice: When you feel angry, ask yourself, “Is there another way to look at this?” or “Will this matter in a week?” These questions help you detach from the heat of the moment.

5. Express Yourself Calmly

Once you’re calmer, address the issue constructively. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming others. For example, say, “I feel frustrated when I’m interrupted,” instead of, “You always cut me off!”

Why it works: This approach fosters dialogue rather than confrontation, making it easier to resolve conflicts without escalating them.

6. Build Long-Term Habits

Controlling your temper isn’t just about managing moments of anger—it’s about cultivating habits that reduce their frequency and intensity over time.

Exercise regularly: Physical activity, like walking or weightlifting, reduces stress hormones and boosts mood, making you less prone to outbursts.

Get enough sleep: Lack of rest makes you more irritable. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep nightly.

Seek support: If anger feels unmanageable, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you uncover deeper triggers and develop tailored strategies.

7. Learn from Setbacks

Nobody’s perfect. If you lose your temper, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, think about what happened, what you could have done differently, and how you can apply those lessons next time. Growth comes from self-awareness and persistence.

Action step: After an outburst, ask yourself, “What set me off? What could I try next time?” This turns mistakes into opportunities for improvement.

8. Know When to Seek Help

If your temper feels uncontrollable or is harming your relationships, it may be a sign to seek professional help. Chronic anger can stem from underlying issues like stress, trauma, or mental health conditions. Professionals can provide tools like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to address these root causes.

Final Thoughts

Controlling your temper is a journey, not a destination. Not only will this improve your relationships, but it will also bring you greater peace of mind. Start small, be patient with yourself, and celebrate your progress along the way.

Call to action: Try one of these strategies today—whether it’s deep breathing or rethinking a frustrating situation—and notice how it shifts your perspective. Share your experiences or tips in the comments below to inspire others!

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