Handling Life’s Many Unexpected Surprises

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received from a mentor was to always expect the unexpected. It wasn’t so much that I should be prepared for any possible unexpected event. It was just to understand that they could pop up at any time.

The advice was really all about mindset. If you’re always ready for surprises you’ll end of being a lot less surprised. That allows you to enjoy the good kind of surprises and quickly take action to mitigate the unpleasant ones.

The pandemic was a great example of how this works. While I don’t believe anyone was prepared for a pandemic, the people, and organizations, that had a mindset of “expect the unexpected” were able to pivot into the new reality much faster than those who assumed their current situation would always be their situation.

Handling the unexpected effectively involves cultivating that “unexpected” mindset, skills, and practical strategies. Here are several approaches to help you manage unexpected events, no matter when, or how, they might pop up.

1. Develop a Flexible Mindset

• Embrace Change: Understand that change is a constant part of life. Accepting this can make you more adaptable.

• Stay Positive: Maintaining a positive outlook helps you stay calm and think clearly under pressure.

• Be Proactive: Anticipate possible changes and think ahead about how you might handle them.

2. Enhance Problem-Solving Skills

• Critical Thinking: Improve your ability to analyze situations and make sound decisions quickly.

• Creative Thinking: Cultivate creativity to come up with innovative solutions when standard methods fail.

• Learn from Experience: Reflect on past experiences to understand what worked and what didn’t, and apply those lessons to new situations.

3. Plan for the Unexpected

• Risk Assessment: Identify potential risks in your personal and professional life and develop plans to mitigate them.

• Backup Plans: Have contingency plans for key aspects of your life, such as finances, career, and health.

• Emergency Preparedness: Keep emergency supplies and plans for natural disasters, medical emergencies, and other critical situations.

4. Stay Informed and Educated

• Continuous Learning: Stay updated on trends and developments in your field and life in general.

• Skill Development: Continuously develop skills that can help you adapt to new circumstances, such as technological proficiency, financial literacy, or interpersonal skills.

5. Build a Support Network

• Relationships: Cultivate strong relationships with family, friends, and colleagues who can offer support and advice.

• Professional Networks: Engage in professional networks and communities that can provide resources and support during unexpected events.

6. Practice Flexibility

• Routine Variation: Occasionally change your routines and habits to build flexibility.

• Open-mindedness: Be open to new experiences and different ways of thinking and doing things.

7. Stay Financially Prepared

• Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses.

• Insurance: Ensure you have appropriate insurance coverage for health, property, and life to mitigate financial risks.

8. Technology Utilization

• Use Tools: Leverage technology for planning, communication, and information gathering.

• Stay Updated: Keep your technological tools updated and know how to use them effectively.

We all know unexpected “stuff” happens. It’s simply a fact of life. By improving these strategies, you can improve your ability to handle the unexpected. You can turn unpleasant surprises and potential challenges into opportunities for growth and improvement.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest stuff to drink, but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

How to Remember the Names of People You’ve Just Met

I’ve known many a person who claims to having a poor memory. They use that as an excuse for not remembering the names of people they’ve recently met. Then you ask them about an event from their childhood and they have amazing recall. They can tell who was present, what the weather was like, what they were wearing, what others were wearing, all kinds of amazing details. From an event that took place years and years ago. That’s because the event made an impression on them.

The reality is that very few people have a poor memory, even when it comes to names. What they do have is poor listening skills. The most likely reason, by far, that they can’t remember someone’s name after just meeting them is that they didn’t hear it to begin with.

They were too busy thinking about what they were going to say. They were also too busy forming an “instant opinion” about the person. The only thing we should be busy doing when first meeting someone is focusing on listening to them, especially when they tell us their name.

Remembering names of people you’ve just met can be challenging, but there are several techniques that can help make it easier:

Pay Attention and Be Present: When you first hear the name, focus on it. Make a conscious effort to listen and remember.

Repeat the Name: Use the person’s name immediately in conversation. For example, “Nice to meet you, John.” Try to use the name several times during the conversation.

Association: Associate the name with a mental image or something familiar. For example, if you meet someone named Rose, you might picture a rose flower.

Ask for the Spelling or Meaning: If the name is uncommon, ask how it’s spelled or if it has a particular meaning. This can create a deeper connection and make it more memorable.

Write It Down: If possible, jot down the name soon after meeting the person. Writing helps reinforce memory.

Visualize the Name: Visualize the person’s name written on their forehead. This mental image can help solidify the name in your memory.

Use Mnemonics: Create a mnemonic device or a rhyme to help remember the name. For example, “Jack who likes to pack.”

Link to Someone You Know: Connect the new person’s name with someone you already know with the same name. For example, “Sarah, like my cousin Sarah.”

Engage in Conversation: Engage the person in a meaningful conversation. The more you talk to them, the more likely you are to remember their name.

Introduce Them to Others: Introduce the person to someone else you know. This forces you to recall and use the name again.

These techniques have been proven to help people remember names. If…if they really want to. Early in my career with the Dale Carnegie organization, I met a man named George. He would attend a meeting with 40-50 people, and after meeting each one, he knew everyone’s name. 12 months later, when attending the same meeting with the same attendees, he still knew all their names. That was amazing to me. So I asked George what his secret was.

It wasn’t his intent, but his sincere answer embarrassed me. He said there was no secret. He simply said that remembering names was important to him, so he worked hard at it. It was then that I realized that not only did I not work hard at it, I didn’t really work at it period.

I’ve worked on that through the years and I’m a ton better at it now. Not as good as George was, but maybe someday. The ability to remember names is one of the most powerful human relations skills you can possess. If you’re interested in improving in this area, then these techniques can help you over time.

But you gotta want it or you’ll never have it.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest stuff to drink, but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

How to Become a Kinder Person

First off, let’s make sure we all understand the difference between being nice and being kind.

Being nice is easy. It doesn’t cost us a thing. It involves simple things like saying hello, saying thank you, smiling at others. Very simple things to do, although it does require that we be mindful of all the opportunities we have each day to “be nice.”

Being kind, on the other hand, takes effort. It can cost us something, either time, money, or both. Extending kindness can even mean doing something we’d prefer not to do; but we do it anyway because, well because we are kind.

Helping someone move. Helping someone paint their house. Helping someone overcome some type of challenge. All of those are acts of kindness. And there are many, many more, some of them actually quite small. Even the small acts of kindness can make a very big difference.

While being nice is relatively easy, being kind involves developing empathy, practicing patience, and taking actionable steps to positively impact others. Here are some practical ways we can consistently be a bit kinder.

1. Practice Empathy

• Listen Actively: Pay full attention to what others are saying without interrupting.

• Understand Perspectives: Try to see situations from others’ viewpoints.

2. Be Present

• Engage Fully: When interacting with others, put away distractions and be mentally and emotionally present. This alone might be one of the kindest things we can do for someone.

• Show Interest: Ask questions about their feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

3. Communicate Positively

• Use Encouraging Words: Offer sincere compliments and positive reinforcement.

• Express Gratitude: Thank people for their help, time, and kindness.

4. Perform Acts of Kindness

• Start With Small Gestures: Hold doors open, offer your seat, or help someone with heavy bags.

• Volunteer: Offer your time and skills to help others in need.

• Random Acts: Pay for someone’s coffee, leave kind notes, or donate to charity.

5. Be Patient and Understanding

• Practice Patience: Give others time to express themselves and don’t rush or pressure them.

• Forgive: Let go of grudges and be quick to forgive mistakes.

6. Show Compassion in Difficult Times

• Offer Support: Be there for others during their tough times, whether through listening, helping with tasks, or simply being present.

• Show Empathy: Acknowledge their pain and offer comfort.

7. Be Self-Aware and Reflective

• Reflect on Your Actions: Regularly consider how your behavior affects others and make adjustments as needed.

• Seek Feedback: Ask friends and family for honest feedback on your kindness and how you can improve.

8. Model Kindness

• Lead by Example: Show kindness in your actions and words consistently.

• Encourage Others: Promote a culture of kindness within your community by recognizing and rewarding kind acts.

9. Be Kind to Yourself

• Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer to others.

• Self-Care: Take time to care for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

10. Learn and Grow

• Educate Yourself: Read books, attend workshops, or take courses on kindness, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

• Practice Mindfulness: Engage in practices like meditation to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, which can help you respond more kindly to others.

By incorporating these practices into your daily life, you can become a kinder person and positively impact those around you. Plus, being kind to others is one of the nicest things you can do…for yourself.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

How to Always Do the Next Right Thing

I’ve been truly blessed with incredibly wise mentors throughout my life. These are people who cared enough about me to be honest. They were skilled enough communicators to deliver challenging coaching to me in a way I could accept it. They were smart enough to not ever attempt to make a decision for me. They provided all the pluses and minuses of a given decision and then stepped back to allow me to decide.

One of the best pieces of advice came from perhaps the best salesperson who ever lived. I mean that literally. His name was Tom. He sold billions of dollars’ worth of his product throughout his career to always delighted clients. I was at a point in my own career where I was feeling a little “stuck.” I wasn’t sure what I should do, so I went to Tom and asked him what he thought.

He said he couldn’t tell me specifically what to do, but in his opinion, I should do the next right thing. I had received some “interesting” coaching from Tom in the past, but this particular information seemed more “interesting” than ever. I replied to Tom that if I knew what the next right thing to do was, I wouldn’t be stuck. I also wouldn’t be asking him for advice.

He was undaunted. He said that somewhere within me I knew what the next right thing was. He said if I didn’t know, I had all the skills and knowledge needed to figure it out on my own. It was frustrating advice, but as he helped me work through my thought process, it became clear that as usual, he was correct.

He simply reminded me what I knew and where I wanted to go in life. He reviewed my Core Values with me and assured me that “the next right thing” would be found in those values and in my goals.

Determining the next right thing to do is a continual process that involves a combination of self-awareness, goal-setting, and review, prioritization, and reflection. Here’s a step-by-step guide that Tom shared with me to help me navigate this process.

1. Define or Review Your Goals

• Set Specific Goals: Break down your overarching goal into smaller, manageable tasks.

• Time-bound: Assign deadlines to each task to create a sense of urgency and structure.

2. Assess Your Current Situation

• Self-Assessment: Evaluate where you currently stand in relation to your goals.

• Identify Obstacles: Recognize any challenges or barriers that may impede your progress.

3. Prioritize Tasks

• Urgency vs. Importance: Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize tasks based on their urgency and importance.

• High-Impact Activities: Focus on tasks that will have the most significant impact on your progress.

4. Break Down Tasks

• Small Steps: Divide larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.

• Actionable Items: Ensure each step is actionable and can be accomplished in a reasonable timeframe.

5. Stay Organized

• Planning Tools: Use planners, calendars, or project management tools to keep track of your tasks and deadlines.

• Daily Review: Review your plan daily to stay on track and make adjustments as needed.

6. Maintain Flexibility

• Adaptability: Be willing to adjust your plans as new information or opportunities arise.

• Continuous Learning: Be open to learning and improving your approach based on feedback and results.

7. Seek Feedback

• Mentorship: Seek advice from mentors or peers who’ve had experience in your area of focus.

• Reflect: Regularly reflect on your progress and identify areas for improvement.

8. Take Action

• Commitment: Commit to taking action, even if it’s imperfect. The act of moving forward is crucial.

• Consistency: Regular, consistent action, even if small, leads to progress over time.

9. Evaluate and Reflect

• Review Progress: Periodically review what you’ve accomplished.

• Learn from Mistakes: Identify what didn’t work and learn from those experiences to refine your approach.

10. Stay Motivated

• Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate small wins to stay motivated.

• Positive Mindset: Maintain a positive attitude and focus on the progress you’ve made, not just what’s left to do.

Practical Example

Let’s say your goal is to write a book. Here’s how you can apply the steps:

1. Define Clear Goals: Set a goal to write a 300-page book within a year.

2. Assess Your Current Situation: Determine your writing speed and available time.

3. Prioritize Tasks: Outline the book’s chapters and prioritize writing the most critical sections first.

4. Break Down Tasks: Break down writing each chapter into smaller tasks, such as drafting an outline, writing 5 pages per day, and revising.

5. Stay Organized: Use a calendar to schedule writing sessions and deadlines for each chapter.

6. Maintain Flexibility: If you encounter writer’s block, be willing to adjust your schedule or change your writing environment.

7. Seek Feedback: Share drafts with peers or mentors for constructive feedback.

8. Take Action: Write daily, even if it’s just a few sentences.

9. Evaluate and Reflect: Review your progress weekly and adjust your plan if necessary.

10. Stay Motivated: Celebrate finishing each chapter and keep a positive outlook on your progress.

You absolutely know what your own “next right thing” is. By following these steps, you can ensure that you bring it to the surface and use it to make progress towards your goals. Remember, ALL progress is progress, even baby steps.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

According to the National Social Anxiety Center (NSAC), “the fear of public speaking is the most common phobia. It’s even more common than the fear of death.” That means that when someone says they would rather die than speak in public, they are likely telling the truth. At least statistically speaking.

Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking. Many new speakers, and even some experienced ones, feel it. They feel it when they’ve been tasked with presenting to an audience.

Overcoming the fear of public speaking is a common challenge. But it can be managed with several strategies. Here are some of the more effective approaches.

Preparation and Practice

• Know Your Material: Be thoroughly familiar with your content. This helps build confidence as you won’t be worried about forgetting what to say. I have coached many a nervous presenter and have told them all the same thing: if you know what you’re talking about, then you have no reason to be worried. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, then you have no reason to be talking.

• Rehearse: Practice your talk multiple times. Rehearse in front of a mirror, record yourself, or present to friends and family. But, and this is key, never, never, never memorize your presentation. There are too many things that can interrupt your concentration during a presentation. If you’re working off a memorized script, that interruption most often leads to doom.

Develop a Routine

• Pre-Talk Rituals: Develop a routine that calms you, such as deep breathing, meditation, or light stretching. My own routine is pretty simple, slam a Diet Coke and enjoy the awesome people you’re about to connect with.

• Arrive Early: Familiarize yourself with the venue and technology to reduce last-minute stress. Running in at the last minute is never a good idea. Even if you’re an experienced presenter, showing up at the last minute will screw up the flow of your presentation, at least for the critical first few minutes.

Positive Thinking

• Shift Focus: Concentrate on delivering value to your audience rather than on your performance. This helps take the pressure off yourself. People have asked me how I can charge so much for a presentation. I just let them know I charge for the value I’m certain I’ll leave behind. While I can’t guarantee their teams will always use the value, I can guarantee the value will be there.

• Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to boost your confidence. Remind yourself that you are prepared and capable. If you’re preparing for your second presentation just remind yourself you didn’t die the first time so the odds are, you won’t die this time either.

Learn and Improve

• Seek Feedback: After your talk, ask for constructive feedback to learn what worked and what can be improved. Be open-minded here. Even if the feedback was hurtful and meant to be harsh. You can still use it to see if it shows a path to improvement.

• Join Public Speaking Groups: Consider joining groups like Toastmasters, where you can practice speaking in a supportive environment.

Understand Your Audience

• Know Your Audience: Understand the needs and expectations of your audience. This helps tailor your talk and reduces anxiety about their reaction. Never do a “cold” presentation, the more you know about the people you’re speaking with, the “warmer” your audience will be right from the start.

• Engage with the Audience: Start with a question, a story, or an interesting fact to engage your audience and make the experience more interactive. And don’t wait for the presentation to begin, engage your audience before you begin by introducing yourself to as many people in the audience as possible as they enter the room. This allows you to use a few of their names during your presentation and creates an instant connection with the entire audience.

Incremental Exposure

• Start Small: Begin by speaking in smaller, less intimidating settings and gradually move to larger audiences. There are like a gazillion groups, Chambers of Commerce, Rotarians, and tons of other service organizations that are always looking for speakers. These kinds of meetings provide excellent opportunities for “live” practice. And I can’t recall a single news story about a speaker being killed because their presentation to a group of Rotarians sucked. Of course, it helps that Rotarians are nice people.

• Expand Your Comfort Zone: Regularly challenge yourself to speak in front of new groups to build resilience and confidence over time. The more often you speak to groups, the more often you’ll look forward to speaking in front of groups. The more you look forward to speaking in front of groups, the more likely you are to be asked to speak. It’s a momentum that can even lead to a speaking career.

Professional Help

• Training Courses: Enroll in public speaking courses or workshops to gain professional guidance and tips. Many of you know I was with the Dale Carnegie Organization for several years early in my career. I saw many people change from a shy, very uncomfortable presenter to a dynamic communicator. They could speak well one-on-one and to groups of almost any size. I have nothing to gain from recommending a Dale Carnegie speaking course. I would only gain the pleasure of knowing that I helped someone beat their fear of speaking in front of groups. I highly recommend Dale Carnegie Training to this day.

I have done literally thousands of presentations over the years. To small groups on a beach in Hawaii to huge crowds in an NFL stadium. I’ve had every experience possible happen while speaking in front of groups. Today, it’s as easy and enjoyable as anything I do.

While you may find it hard to believe, by combining these strategies, it can be that easy for you as well. Yes, you! You can gradually overcome your fear of public speaking and become a more confident and effective speaker.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Demonstrating You’re a Leader Who Cares

There are certain “facts” of leadership that are immutable. The biggest one is this: you can care for people without leading them, but you absolutely can’t lead people without caring for them.

I chose the words in that prior sentence very carefully. Before you go patting yourself on the back because you’re a leader who cares about their people, you should notice I didn’t say “care about.” I said care for people.

There is a world of difference between “care about” and “care for.” Both in terms of mindset and actions. Anyone in a managerial role will care about their people. Much like they care about their budget, their inventories, their building, and all the “stuff” that goes into running a business.

Authentic Leaders care about all that stuff too, what separates them from leaders in name only is that they go beyond caring about the people they lead. They care for the people they lead. That means they invest a part of themselves into their people’s success. They aren’t just concerned with the performance of their people “on the job.” They are invested in the lives of their people outside of the organization as well.

Authentic Leaders know that the people who work with them are human beings. They know that it’s actually impossible to completely separate “work life” from life in general. So they don’t expect or ask the people they lead to do that. They know that the human beings they lead need to be cared for. They need to know they are cared for. They can’t just be told they are cared for, they need to see it. They need to feel it.

So Authentic Leaders are intentional, proactive, and consistent in showing the people they lead that they are indeed cared for.

Demonstrating that you’re a leader who cares for the people you lead involves a combination of behaviors, communication styles, and actions that show empathy, respect, and genuine concern for their well-being. Here are some key strategies to effectively show your people that without a doubt, you really do care for them.

1. Active Listening

• Give full attention: When your team members speak, listen actively without interrupting. Show that you value their input.

• Reflect and clarify: Paraphrase what they’ve said to ensure understanding and demonstrate that you’re engaged.

• Ask for feedback: Regularly seek their opinions on decisions that affect them.

2. Empathy and Understanding

• Recognize individual challenges: Understand that each team member has unique personal and professional challenges.

• Show compassion: Respond to their issues with empathy, offering support where possible.

3. Transparent Communication

• Be open and honest: Share information about the organization, decisions, and changes openly.

• Encourage questions: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable asking questions and voicing concerns.

4. Support and Development

• Invest in their growth: Provide opportunities for professional development and career advancement. Encourage them, often, to take advantage of those opportunities.

• Offer constructive feedback: Help them improve by giving feedback that is specific, actionable, and supportive. You have to “do better” is not constructive feedback. Again, specificity is the key to constructive feedback.

5. Recognition and Appreciation

• Celebrate achievements: Acknowledge both small and significant accomplishments publicly and privately.

• Personalize recognition: Tailor recognition to the individual’s preferences and needs. Yes, this requires more effort, but Authentic Leaders put forth this level of effort all the time.

6. Creating a Positive Work Environment

• Promote work-life balance: Encourage taking breaks, vacation time, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. And let’s be real clear on this one, if you’re pushing your people to extremes, to working 24/7 with no life outside of work, then you may be a boss, but you’re no leader.

• Foster teamwork and collaboration: Create opportunities for team-building and collaborative projects.

7. Leading by Example

• Exhibit the behavior you expect: Model the values and behaviors you want to see in your team. Whether you realize it or not, you ARE leading by example. Your people are always watching. They will do what they see you do 1000 times faster than they will do what you say to do. So if you’re having performative issues with your people, the first place to look is in the mirror.

• Show resilience and optimism: In times of challenge, demonstrate resilience and a positive attitude. Authentic Leaders create hope where despair once existed. If you can do that, you’re an Authentic Leader.

8. Availability and Support

• Be accessible: Make yourself available to your team for support and guidance.

• Provide resources: Ensure they have the necessary resources and tools to perform their tasks effectively.

9. Personal Interest

• Know your team members: Take the time to learn about their interests, families, and personal lives.

• Check-in regularly: Have regular one-on-one meetings to discuss their progress, concerns, and well-being.

10. Empowerment and Trust

• Delegate responsibility: Trust your team members with important tasks and decisions.

• Encourage autonomy: Give them the freedom to approach their work in their own way, fostering a sense of ownership and responsibility.

When you consistently use these ideas you’ll demonstrate that you are a leader who genuinely cares for the people you lead. The key is “genuinely.” You might be able to fool some of the people for a little while, but if your caring is not sincere they will figure it out in relatively short order. And once they figure out you don’t really care for them, they will no longer care to follow you. Then my friend, your days as a leader are numbered.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Letting Go of Anger

Human beings are emotional creatures. While many emotions are beneficial, think happiness and excitement for example, some are not helpful at all. Envy and jealousy are two “negative” emotions that come to mind right away.

But I can’t think of any emotion as damaging to our well-being as anger. One of the biggest challenges with anger is its staying power. Some of our positive emotions fade quickly unless we work at maintaining them. Anger seems to hang around, eating away at our positive emotions. It negatively impacts our wellbeing and ability to fully appreciate the positives in our life.

The sooner we learn to let go of the debilitating effects of anger, the better our life will be. But it takes effort and intentionality to rid yourself of the scourge that is anger. Some people will attempt to fool themselves into believing they can use anger as a source of motivation. Any motivation someone receives from anger will be short-lived when compared to the lasting negative energy.

Dealing with anger issues involves a combination of self-awareness, coping strategies, and sometimes even professional help. Here are some effective approaches to manage and reduce, and perhaps eliminate anger.

Know the source of your anger

1. Identify Triggers: Recognize what situations, people, or events trigger your anger. Keeping a journal can help track these triggers and patterns. Knowing you’re going to be in the presence of someone who sets you off can help you prepare mentally to maintain control of your emotions.

2. Recognize Physical Signs: Pay attention to the physical signs of anger, such as increased heart rate, tension, or feeling hot. Early recognition can help you manage your response before it escalates.

Immediate coping strategies

1. Pause and Breathe: When you start feeling angry, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. This helps calm your nervous system and gives you time to think. Consider who you want to rule your emotions, yourself or someone or something else.

2. Count to Ten: Counting to ten (or higher) before reacting can give you time to cool down and think more clearly. If you’ve never tried this, you may be skeptical about its effectiveness. But it really works and has the side benefit of making the person who has made you mad wonder if you’re about to attack. 🙂

3. Walk Away: If possible, remove yourself from the situation that’s causing anger. A brief walk or time-out can help you gain perspective.

Long-term strategies

1. Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve one’s mood, which in turn can help manage anger.

2. Develop Healthy Communication Skills: Learn to express your feelings calmly and constructively. Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel frustrated when…”) instead of blaming others.

Cognitive strategies

1. Reframe Thoughts: Challenge and change negative thought patterns. Instead of thinking “This is unfair,” try to reframe it to “This is frustrating, but I can handle it.”

2. Problem-Solving: Focus on finding solutions to problems rather than focusing on the problems themselves.

Lifestyle adjustments

1. Ensure Adequate Sleep: Lack of sleep can increase irritability and reduce your ability to handle stress.

2. Limit Alcohol and Caffeine: Getting hammered can lower your tolerance for frustration and make anger management more difficult. Caffeine just keeps you awake longer, allowing your anger stay awake with you.

Practice empathy and forgiveness

1. Empathy: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Understanding their point of view can reduce feelings of anger.

2. Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and practicing forgiveness can reduce long-term anger and resentment.

Anger hurts the angry person far more than anyone else. By combining these strategies, you can develop better control over your anger and improve your overall emotional well-being.

You do not have to live with anger. If it’s a big problem, you may want to consider getting a little assist from a mental health professional. And know this without a doubt… asking for help is not a weakness, it’s actually a sign of strength and courage.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
I’d appreciate any support but seriously, support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly