Month March 2024

Getting What You Want Out of Life

Steve Keating 2 Comments

The surest way, by far, to get everything you want out of life is to set goals. But most people say they just don’t have time to set goals. These are the same people who have time to scroll through Facebook for multiple hours a day. Or binge watch a show on Netflix for hours at a time.

They have plenty of time. What they lack is priorities for their life. They want stuff, sometimes they claim to want it badly, but clearly not badly enough to actually make a plan to earn whatever the “stuff” is.

Research shows that they average person will spend nearly 40 hours planning a one week vacation. 40 hours planning one week of their life. But they won’t invest any time to plan the rest of their life.

Goals are the plans you make for the rest of your life.

Setting goals for yourself involves a combination of self-reflection, assessment of your values and priorities, and consideration of your long-term aspirations. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you determine what goals to set for yourself.

• Reflect on Your Values and Priorities: Consider what matters most to you in life. Your values serve as guiding principles that influence your decisions and actions. Ask yourself questions like:

• What brings me joy and fulfillment?

• What aspects of my life do I prioritize (e.g., career, relationships, personal development)?

• What do I want to achieve in different areas of my life (e.g., health, career, relationships, personal growth)?

• Assess Your Current Situation: Take stock of where you are currently in your life. Reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (SWOT analysis). Consider aspects such as:

• What are my current skills, knowledge, and resources?

• What challenges or obstacles am I facing?

• What opportunities are available to me?

• Identify Areas for Improvement or Growth: Based on your reflection and assessment, identify areas where you would like to see improvement or growth. These areas can be related to various aspects of your life, such as:

• Career and professional development

• Health and wellness

• Relationships and social connections

• Personal skills and hobbies

• Financial stability and security

• Set SMART Goals: Once you’ve identified areas for improvement or growth, define specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. SMART goals provide clarity and focus, making it easier to track your progress and stay motivated. Ensure that your goals meet the following criteria:

• Specific: Clearly define what you want to achieve.

• Measurable: Determine how you will measure your progress and success.

• Achievable: Set goals that are realistic and within your reach.

• Relevant: Ensure that your goals align with your values, priorities, and aspirations.

• Time-bound: Establish a deadline or timeframe for achieving your goals.

• Break Down Your Goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks or milestones. This makes your goals less daunting and helps you stay motivated as you make progress.

• Create an Action Plan: Develop a detailed action plan outlining the steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Consider what resources, support, or skills you may need along the way.

• Track Your Progress and Adjust as Needed: Regularly monitor your progress towards your goals and make adjustments as necessary. Celebrate your achievements and learn from any setbacks or challenges you encounter.

• Stay Flexible and Adapt: Life is dynamic, and circumstances may change over time. Stay flexible and be willing to adapt your goals as needed to accommodate changes in your priorities or circumstances.

By following these steps, you can effectively identify meaningful goals that align with your values and aspirations. Then you can take concrete steps towards achieving them. Remember that goal-setting is a continuous process, so regularly review and revise your goals as you work on achieving them.

Want more LeadToday? Many of you know I’m very active on X, the social media platform formerly known as Twitter. I post a lot of free content there but I also post 6-10 minute videos two or three times a week. These videos are focused on principles of leadership and life. They are “uncommon” common sense topics designed to help people push themselves to their full potential. Every video is available to subscribers who invest $4.99 a month for their future success. If you’re willing to push yourself towards the life you want and deserve my videos may just be the extra nudge you need to get there. Find your way over to X and follow me there. Once you’ve followed me you can subscribe on a month by month basis just by clicking the subscribe button. Remember, an investment in yourself ALWAYS pays dividends! You’ll find my timeline here: twitter.com/leadtoday

How to be a More Effective Listener

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Many people who claim to want to be better communicators focus almost entirely on speaking more clearly. But effective speaking and effective communicating are two very different things. You cannot communicate effectively if you can’t listen effectively. Truly great communicators know that’s a fact.

The benefits of being a more effective listener cannot be overstated. Not only do effective listeners learn more, they build deeper and longer-lasting relationships. Being a better listener involves both active engagement and a willingness to understand others.

If you’re truly interested in being a better communicator here are some ideas to improve your listening skills.

• Give your full attention. When someone is speaking to you, put away distractions like your phone or other devices. Make eye contact and show that you’re fully present. The person you’re speaking with should be your only focus. They should feel as if they are the most important person in the world to you…because in that moment they truly should be.

• Listen without interrupting. Allow the speaker to express their thoughts without interrupting them. Interrupting can disrupt the flow of conversation and make the speaker feel unheard. If your response to what the speaker has just said is any version of “yes, but…” I can guarantee that you were not fully listening to them. You were figuring out your response before they finished talking.

• Practice empathy. Try to understand the speaker’s perspective and feelings. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel in their situation. As I’ve written before, empathy is a super power that allows you to listen to and connect with someone else in a way that takes communication to a new, much more powerful level.

• Ask clarifying questions. If you’re unsure about something the speaker said, ask for clarification. This shows that you’re actively listening and trying to understand their point of view. Asking a clarifying question does NOT make you look or sound stupid. It demonstrates that you care about what the other person is saying.

• Paraphrase what you heard. After the speaker has finished talking, summarize what they said in your own words. This not only shows that you were listening but also helps clarify any misunderstandings.

• Avoid judgment. Suspend judgment while listening to others. Everyone has their own experiences and perspectives. It’s important to respect that even if you disagree. Remember, if you’re judging what they are saying while they are still saying it then you are not fully listening to their words and their meaning.

• Be patient. Sometimes, people need time to gather their thoughts or express themselves. Be patient and give them the time they need without rushing them. A few moments of silence can be a powerful communication tool. Learn to embrace the pauses and use them to understand what was just said and what you should say next.

• Show non-verbal cues. Use non-verbal cues like nodding your head or making affirmative sounds to show that you’re listening and engaged.

• Practice active listening. Actively engage with the speaker by nodding, smiling, or providing verbal cues like “I see” or “That makes sense.” This encourages the speaker to continue sharing.

• Reflect on your own listening habits. Take time to reflect on your listening habits and identify areas for improvement. Are there times when you tend to zone out or interrupt? Being aware of these tendencies can help you become a better listener.

• Ask three people who know you well what you can do to be a better listener. Then, and this is key, DO WHAT THEY SUGGEST YOU DO. Do not argue, do not dismiss, just do it. If you’ve asked the right people their input will be invaluable. And…you might not like this one…if you are married, one of those three people should be your spouse. And remember the “do not argue, do not dismiss part. 🙂

Listening is a skill and by definition skills can be developed through effort and practice. Your life will change for the better when you become a more effective listener. It is highly likely you’ll also improve the lives of those around you when they realize how much you value what they have to say.