Month February 2024

How to Accept Criticism Gracefully

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Early in my career I was not a fan of criticism. Truth be told, I’m still not a huge fan of it. I, like most everyone else would prefer to hear accolades but let’s face it, criticism is a part of life.

That being the case, how we receive it and what we do with it will determine whether it hurts us or helps us. I decided long ago the best way to deal with criticism is by becoming my own worst critic. That way when someone criticizes me for something the odds are, I’ve already criticized myself for it.

That allows me to listen to the person’s opinion without becoming defensive. If I haven’t already criticized myself for the same thing I can evaluate whether or not they have a valid point and decide what I should do with it.

Sometimes I say thank you and mostly ignore it. But if it’s a valid point I try to use it to improve myself. It makes no difference if they meant it to be constructive criticism or destructive criticism, if it’s valid I can use it for my benefit.

But, and I think this is huge, I’m almost never willing to accept criticism from someone that I do not respect enough to receive advice from. If they are unsuccessful, if they have never done what they are telling me to do, or they are just a run of the mill know it all, I’ll dismiss their criticism quickly…hopefully with a bit of grace as well.

Accepting criticism gracefully is a valuable skill. It can lead to personal growth and improvement. It can lead to better communication and relationships. It can even get you more constructive criticism/feedback in the future.

If you’re interested in accepting criticism in a professional and even graceful manner, here’s a few ideas.

• Listen attentively: When receiving criticism, give the person your full attention. Listen to what they’re saying without interrupting. Focus on their perspective, listen to understand, not just to respond.

• Remain calm: It’s natural to feel defensive or upset when criticized, but try to stay composed. We don’t hear very well when we are mad. Take deep breaths if you need to. Avoid reacting impulsively or emotionally.

• Don’t take it personally: Remember that criticism is about your actions or behaviors, not your worth as a person. Separate your identity from the feedback you’re receiving.

• Ask for clarification: If the criticism is unclear or vague, don’t hesitate to ask for specific examples or details. This can help you better understand the issue and how to address it. If they can’t clarify their comment, or they speak in broad generalities, the criticism might be one to dismiss quickly.

• Express gratitude: Regardless of how the criticism is delivered, thank the person for their feedback. Acknowledge their effort in providing it, even if you don’t agree with everything they’ve said.

• Reflect on the feedback: Take some time to consider the criticism objectively. Think about whether there’s any truth to it and how you can use it to improve. Consider seeking input from others as well to gain different perspectives. This may take a few minutes or a few days, don’t rush it, you don’t want to miss the diamond in a box of rocks.

• Identify areas for growth: Use the criticism as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Look for specific actions you can take to address the feedback and make positive changes.

• Take action: Once you’ve reflected on the criticism, create a plan to implement any necessary changes. Set realistic goals and timelines for improvement.

• Follow up: Check in with the person who provided the criticism to let them know how you’re progressing. This shows that you value their feedback and are committed to making changes. This may require eating a bit of humble pie but that’s far better than choking on the same criticism again and again.

• Repeat the process: Accepting criticism is an ongoing journey. Continuously seek feedback from others and use it to fuel your personal and professional development. If you’re like me and always trying to improve there will be no shortage of people offering you “suggestion’s” along the way.

Don’t forget, you’re in complete control as to how you respond to criticism and how you use it. Don’t let someone else’s criticism slow you down. If it was constructive criticism use it as a springboard to greater success. If it was destructive criticism use as fuel to rocket yourself so far past their criticism that you’ll never hear from them again.

How to Manage Anxiety

Steve Keating 2 Comments

It’s pretty normal to be anxious at times. That anxiety can even be helpful at times as it pushes us to be our best in challenging situations. Being overly anxious however is different. Being overly anxious can lead to undue stress and have a negative impact on most every aspect of our lives.

Learning to manage our anxiety can often be the difference between success and failure. Better managing our anxiety will absolutely improve our level of happiness and productivity. The better we manage our anxiety level the better our relationships with other people will be. If you find yourself often overly anxious know this fact… you do not need to live your life that way. You may be able to take some specific actions that will enable you to manage your anxiety and perhaps even turn it into a positive part of your life.

Taking control of your anxiety involves a combination of lifestyle changes, self-care practices, and in some cases, professional help. Here are some strategies you can do on your own or with a mentor that may help.

Understand Your Anxiety:

• Educate yourself about anxiety to better understand its nature and triggers.

• Keep a journal to track patterns and identify specific situations that provoke anxiety.

Practice Relaxation Techniques:

• Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and meditation can help calm your mind.

• Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing and then slowly releasing each muscle group.

Regular Exercise:

• Physical activity is known to reduce anxiety by releasing endorphins, which act as natural mood lifters.

• Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

Healthy Lifestyle:

• Prioritize sleep; establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

• Maintain a balanced diet with nutritious foods and limit caffeine and sugar intake.

Limit Stimulants:

• Reduce or eliminate the consumption of stimulants like caffeine, as they can exacerbate anxiety symptoms.

Set Realistic Goals:

• Break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable goals.

• Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

Time Management:

• Organize your time effectively to prevent feeling overwhelmed.

• Prioritize tasks and focus on one thing at a time.

Social Support:

• Share your feelings with friends or family, it’s amazing how sometimes just talking about our anxiety can help reduce it.

• Consider joining a support group or talking to a mental health professional. There is absolutely positively no shame in doing this. I’d even say at times it’s literally heroic. So if you can’t manage your anxiety alone by all means and any means seek help.

• When anxiety persists or significantly interferes with your daily life, that’s your indication it’s time to seek help from a mental health professional.

Self-Compassion:

• Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay not to be perfect.

• Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

• Don’t beat yourself up over anxiety. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, not everyone has the courage to face up to it.

I can’t stress enough that if your anxiety is consistently and negatively affecting parts of your life then you should consider consulting with a healthcare professional. They can give you personalized advice tailored to your specific situation. They’ll provide guidance on the most appropriate strategies and interventions based on your individual needs.

Just remember, you don’t have to live an anxious. You can take action to overcome it.