Month September 2022

How to Lead and How Not to Lead – Another of a periodic series

Steve Keating 5 Comments

The most effective leaders, the ones who achieve the highest level of leadership, the Pinnacle level, are more than Authentic Leaders. They are Authentic Servant Leaders. They have turned their organizational chart upside down.  They put their people above themselves in the organization. 

Their impact on the organization far outlasts their time in the organization. Authentic Leaders make an impact but too often their impact leaves the organization with them. It is by serving the people you lead that you leave a legacy behind. 

But…that’s a whole lotta work. To be an Authentic Servant Leader you have to really want it. You have to sacrifice. You have to invest yourself in the success of other people. You have to give a healthy portion of your ego food to those you lead. You have to care for the people you lead. 

It’s far easier to manage the people who work for you. It’s not actually leading but so what, you’ve got a leadership position and a nice title and that’s what matters most. But people want consistency from their boss so it’s best to either always manage or always lead. Going back and forth will confuse your people. 

So here’s how to make certain they don’t sometimes see you as a leader. 

Never never never ask people to identify what they need to succeed. Avoid asking them how you can help them. As an experienced manager you know darn well that if you ask people what they need to succeed they will want more time, equipment and heaven help you, more money. Your experience tells you that if you give these people an inch, they will take a mile. 

Don’t get to know them as people. It’s best to think of them as an employee number. I wouldn’t call them by their number because it can be a lot of work to remember all those numbers. But never lose site of the fact that they are only a number. Thinking of them as people could get very confusing for you. They are only an asset, much like your computers and printers. Do not let your people even think you might care for them. 

Follow that advice and I promise you this, you may hold a leadership position but you will never be mistaken for an actual leader. 

Of course, you could always choose to make their lives better and your life more fulfilling by working to earn the right to Authentically Lead them. 

To Authentically Lead you must first understand the difference between managing and leading. We manage things. Things like budgets, buildings, equipment, inventories and the like. We lead people. Leading people requires that you care for them. You may care about the things you manage but you must care for people. Your people,  like you, can feel the difference between a boss who cares about them, like they care about the copier, and a leader who cares for them, like a human being. 

You can’t just tell your people that you care for them, you need to show it. 

You can do that by engaging with them frequently. By asking them how they are doing. Not necessarily at work,  but also how they are doing at life. Ask what you can do to help them, either at work or at life. Then do what Authentic Servant Leaders do…listen. Listen so intently that the person you’re speaking with gets the impression that in that moment, they are the only person in the world. 

Then do something else that Authentic Servant Leaders do…act on what you heard. Do everything you can possible do to meet the needs of your people. You asked and now they are waiting to see if your questions were for show or if your questions were to help them grow. 

If you can’t do what you were asked to do then do what Pinnacle level leaders do…go back and explain why and tell your people what you can do. A shrug of the shoulders and a sorry about that will not get it done. 

Once you’ve asked the questions that demonstrate you care, you have put yourself at the crossroads of your leadership journey. You will either move up the path towards Authentic Servant Leadership or down the path of a wannabe leader. 

The rewards for attempting to manage another human being are a position, a title and likely more money. The rewards for Authentically Leading others with a servant’s heart are limitless. You’ll make a positive impact on the lives of others. You will touch the lives of people you may never know. You will shape the future of your organization, for generations to come. You will be building more leaders who will build more leaders as well. Your leadership will far outlast you. Your life and leadership will have made a difference in the world.

The choice between leading people and trying to manage them is one that you must make for yourself. Pinnacle Level Leaders decide to leave a part of themselves behind when they are gone. They choose to give of themselves. In doing so they receive more in return than lesser leaders could ever imagine. 

So what will it be for you?

On a another note… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

Threatening to End an Argument 

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I posted a tweet on Twitter a couple of weeks ago and was surprised by a rather large number of negative responses I received. The post seemed harmless enough…it said basically that you can’t win an argument by yelling. It suggested that rather than raising your voice you should improve your argument. 

I engaged one of the people who responded and said the most memorable statements are more often whispered than yelled. He replied that he wins most arguments by yelling. If yelling doesn’t work he then yells louder while threatening some form of violence. That he said, always does the trick. He said this method works with his kids especially well. 

Twitter limits tweets and responses to 280 characters so I could not even begin to properly reply. There is so much wrong with that line of thinking that I’d need 10 blog posts to do it justice. 

But let’s look at a couple of the problems with that thinking. First…arguing with your children? Really? The person didn’t say how old their kids were but that’s almost irrelevant. If they were very young it’s worse but arguing with your kids is just plain bad at any age. 

Next, arguing with anyone is a fools errand. No one truly wins an argument. Especially by yelling. 

Yelling is a sign that the “yeller” has lost control of their emotions. Threatening violence, especially against their kids, is a sign that they have lost control of their thinking. I can absolutely understand the frustration that comes from not being able to influence another person’s thinking. It can cause anyone to lose control. 

Losing control most often stems from the need to win. Winning an argument for many people means forcing their opinion on someone else. But losing control is far less likely to happen if your position is built with empathy and a sincere desire to help the other person in some way. 

While it’s possible to end an argument with shouts and threats it is not possible to win one that way. In fact, as the great Dale Carnegie wrote, “the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it all together.” 

That doesn’t mean rolling over and playing dead. That means making your case supported by facts and a caring heart. If the other person is having a hard time hearing or understanding then whisper instead of yell. 

Remember, if somebody sees you yelling at a person because you think they are an idiot, that somebody may agree there is an idiot in the conversation but they might think the idiot is you. 

They might even be right. 

On a another note… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/