Tag Staying Positive

How to Block Naysayers From Your Life

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There was a Vice-President of the United States back in the late 1960’s or early 70’s who had a love hate relationship with the press. Okay, that’s not exactly accurate, it was more of a hate, hate, some more relationship but that’s not the point here. He called the media a bunch of “Nattering Nabobs of Negativism.” I have no idea as to whether or not that was an accurate description of the media back then but I think it’s a pretty funny line.

I also think it indeed accurately describes much of the media content, particularly the social media content we absorb today. The most successful people and, perhaps more importantly, the happiest people do not let negativity seep into their minds. They effectively block it out. That requires both discipline and intentionality. Here are some steps you can take to keep those nattering nabobs of negativism outta your head.

1. Identify the naysayers. Recognize the individuals in your life who consistently bring negativity, doubt, or pessimism into your interactions. Once you identify these people you may want to ask yourself why you allow them to be in your life.

2. Evaluate the impact. Reflect on how their presence affects your mental well-being, confidence, and goals. Consider whether their opinions hold value or are merely hindering your progress. Once you understand the damage these naysayers can do to your life you may want to ask yourself why you continue to allow them to be in your life.

3. Set boundaries. Establish clear boundaries with naysayers to limit their influence on your life. This might involve reducing the time you spend with them or minimizing the topics you discuss with them. It may also be a good time to determine whether or not they should be allowed into your life at all.

4. Surround yourself with positivity. Seek out supportive and encouraging individuals who uplift and inspire you. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can counteract the negativity from naysayers.

5. Practice assertiveness. Communicate your boundaries assertively but respectfully. Let naysayers know that you appreciate their perspective. However, you prefer to focus on constructive and optimistic discussions. This might be a great time to ask yourself why you are so pleasant and accommodating to people who perhaps shouldn’t be in your life at all.

6. Stay focused on your goals. Keep your attention on your goals and aspirations, regardless of the negativity others may project onto you. Remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities, and don’t let the doubts of naysayers derail your progress. Remember, their opinion of your goals and aspirations are their problem, not yours.

7. Cultivate self-confidence. Build it by acknowledging your achievements, learning from setbacks, and developing a positive mindset. Confidence acts as a shield against the negativity of naysayers.

8. Limit exposure to naysayers. Avoid certain social gatherings or conversations where their negativity prevails. Never never never join in the negativity just to get along. Negativity is contagious, keep your distance whenever possible.

9. Seek support. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or mentors. They should believe in you and your abilities. Lean on them for encouragement and guidance when facing challenges or doubts.

10. Practice self-care. Take care of your mental and emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Prioritize self-care to maintain resilience in the face of negativity.

There will always be times when we are forced to interact with nattering nabobs of negativism. But being forced to interact does mean mean we’re forced to absorb the negativity. Remember your personal greatness and ability to overcome any challenge. Positivity is choice and it’s one of the most important choices you can make. So make it often, very very often.

Personal Motivation

Steve Keating 1 Comment

I wish every person in a position of leadership understood how important recognition is to their people. They don’t just want recognition, they need it. For many people recognition is the fuel for their engine of productivity. 

Most people are people pleasers and one of the people they most want to please is their boss. They want a few things in return for pleasing their boss and one of those things is “credit” or recognition for a job well done. If they don’t receive that credit many of them lose their motivation to continue giving their best effort. 

And that is a mistake. 

None of us should give someone else that kind of power over any part of our lives. 

The most consistently successful people do not look out for recognition and affirmation, they look within. Knowing that they have given their best effort motivates them. Their opinion of themselves is more important than someone else’s. 

We all want the recognition and support of the people we work for. But wanting it and needing it are two very different things. Recognizing your own effort is way more important, or should be, than the recognition of anyone else. 

Absolutely appreciate any and all recognition and support you receive from someone else. But don’t depend on it to keep you going. The only reason you need to continually give your best effort in everything you do is this: YOU deserve your best effort. You deserve to be the best that you can be in all areas of your life. 

That cannot depend on the actions or inactions of someone else. 

Don’t count on someone else motivating you to greatness. Always always give your best effort and whatever you do, you’ll do it great. Tonight before you go to sleep make sure to take a moment to thank yourself for the effort you put forth today. Remind yourself that no matter what was or wasn’t accomplished today that you did your best. 

And that’s all anyone, including yourself, can ask for. 

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Just click the purple “subscribe” button next to the regular follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP or on a web browser. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and what topics you’d like to see me address.

Forget About It

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Many years ago, okay, many many years ago, I was making cold calls with my Sales Manager. We had a solid process (at the time) for cold calling. We would walk into a company and ask to leave some literature with the receptionist. We would then ask the receptionist for the name of the person they would be passing the literature to so we could follow up directly. It was an effective way to learn the name of the decision maker. 

We were part way through a full day of prospecting when we made a call on a paper company. I greeted the receptionist and asked if I could drop off some literature for the person who made training decisions. She cheerfully said sure and I handed her the first piece of literature I was planning to leave behind. As I was taking the second piece of literature out of my folder I noticed the receptionist putting the first piece beneath the desk. 

I handed the second brochure over and the receptionist again placed it beneath the desk. I asked what she was doing with the literature and she said she was “speeding up the process.” I asked what that meant and she said that her boss would throw the “crap” away so she was speeding up the process. 

I was not exactly happy with her answer. So I asked if she thought that was an appropriate way to treat people. She said she would never treat people that way but it was fine for salespeople. 

Before I could “discuss” this any further my Sales Manager thanked her for her time and guided me to the door. 

When we got back to our car I asked my manager if he could believe what just happened. He said he didn’t see anything unusual and I should just “forget about it” because we had lots more calls to make. It wouldn’t be productive to let a poor call affect my effectiveness on the next call. 

As I said earlier that was many many years ago so I haven’t exactly forgotten about it. But I also haven’t forgotten the point my Sales Manager was making. 

The point was do not let one bad customer experience allow the next customer interaction to be negatively affected. The idea was to sell in “call tight compartments” so that each call was “fresh.”

Selling one call at a time protects you from becoming overconfident when things were going well. It also keeps you from bringing disappointment and maybe even anger into your next call. 

That’s not only good advice for a salesperson, it’s good advice for everyone. Do not let a poor interaction with one person carry over to the interaction you have with the next person. This is particularly important for leaders to keep in mind. 

Everyone will have negative experiences involving other people. No one has to allow that to make them negative. Staying positive in the face of negativity is a choice. It’s a choice we should all make everyday.

Are You Listening to Naysayers?

Steve Keating 12 Comments

There is a story about a successful Hot Dog vendor in New York City. He had a couple of Hot Dog stands and was successful enough to send his son to college. He continued to grow his  business as his son was earning his business degree.

As his son progressed in school he urged his father to be cautious with his business expansion.  By the time his son had graduated the business had grown to 10 Hot Dog Stands spread around New York City. The business and profits were continuing to grow.

The father was shocked when his son told him that he had made a big mistake growing the business so fast. His son recommended that he downsize the business immediately. Considering his son’s newly minted business degree he decided to follow his advice. He quickly closed two of his stands and laid off several employees. Sure enough, as his son had predicted his revenue began to drop and the father was convinced his son knew what he was talking about.

So the father doubled his efforts and closed even more Hot Dog Stands. As his son had predicted the downward spiral continued.

Eventually the father was back to his original Hot Dog Stands and business stabilized. The father was so grateful to his son for “saving” his business that he couldn’t thank him enough. He commented that he didn’t know where he would be if his son hadn’t returned from college when he did.

You could say both father and son made many mistakes in this story but I’d say the biggest mistake was made by the father. His mistake was that he listened to a naysayer. A well meaning naysayer I’m sure but a naysayer all the same.

The father was literally almost talked out of business.

You will have naysayers show up in your life from time to time. Some will be well intentioned as the son was in this story but others will only be looking to bring you down. Down to their level most likely.

It’s natural to hear what they are saying but listening to their words is a choice. You must choose carefully. If you decide their words have merit then act on them. If you decide they do not then ignore them. Just because something was said, even if it was said by someone who may care about you, doesn’t make it so.

You must judge their motives for saying whatever they say. You must weigh what they think against what you know. You must believe in yourself even when those close to you may not. You must listen with your heart but be sure your head has some say in the matter as well.

There will always be naysayers around when it comes to your success and I wouldn’t waste a minute trying to tell them they are wrong. I’d suggest you invest all of your energy in showing them.