Tag Showing you Care

How to Demonstrate that You’re a Leader Who Cares

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the easiest things for someone in a leadership position to do is tell their people that they care about them. The reality is, many followers doubt the sincerity of those words. That’s why Authentic Leaders remove all doubt by demonstrating, on a consistent basis, that they do actually care about their people. Demonstrating that you’re a caring leader is essential for creating a positive and productive organizational culture. It builds trust among your team members and promotes their well-being.

There are about a gazillion ways to show you care, here are several that can have an immediate impact with your team.

• Pay close attention to your team members when they speak. Show empathy by nodding, making eye contact, and asking clarifying questions. This demonstrates that you value their thoughts and concerns.

• Encourage open and honest communication within your team. Create safe spaces where people feel comfortable sharing their ideas, problems, and feedback without fear of judgment or reprisal. By the way, it’s best if the entire organization is one giant safe space. People looking over their shoulder to see if it’s “safe” to say something are less productive than those who know their safety is assured.

• Put yourself in your team members’ shoes. Try to understand their perspectives, feelings, and needs. When they face challenges or personal issues, express empathy and offer support.

• Be accessible to your team. Make sure they know they can come to you with their concerns, whether they are work-related or personal. Maintain an open-door policy, or set aside regular times for one-on-one meetings.

• Acknowledge and appreciate your team members’ contributions and accomplishments. Recognition can be verbal praise, written notes, or other forms of acknowledgment, and it shows that you value their efforts.

• Invest in your team’s professional growth. Help them set and achieve their career goals. Provide opportunities for learning and skill development, and offer guidance and mentorship.

• Promote a healthy work-life balance. Encourage employees to take breaks, use their vacation time, and avoid overloading them with excessive work. Show understanding when they need to attend to personal matters.

• Be flexible when possible. Accommodate reasonable requests for flexible work hours to accommodate people’s needs. Things like family responsibilities or personal health issues matter and you should never ignore them.

• Address conflicts and disagreements within the team promptly and impartially. Encourage a resolution process that respects everyone’s perspectives and feelings. You’ll likely have to fight the normal human behavior of playing favorites but if you want complete engagement of your team you will fight that fight.

• Demonstrate the behaviors and values you expect from your team. Show that you prioritize caring and empathy in your interactions with others.

• Recognize that each team member is unique. Tailor your leadership style and support to their individual needs and preferences. Remember, the “one size fits all” leadership style generally fits no one.

• Continuously seek feedback from your team on your leadership style and areas for improvement. Show that you are open to making changes based on their input. Listen to them and implore as many of their ideas as possible and when you can’t implement an idea tell them exactly why.

There is no doubt that consistently demonstrating that you care for your people requires effort, sometimes even great effort. But the rewards make those efforts well worthwhile. It’s also possible your efforts at showing you care will spill over into your personal life as well and improve all your relationships.

So you see, showing you care won’t only change the lives of those you lead, it could very well change your life too.

A Failure to Care

Steve Keating 1 Comment

One of the most basic truths of Authentic Leadership is that you can care for people without leading them but you cannot lead them without caring for them. 

Attempting to lead people without caring for them causes the “leader” to actually manage people instead of leading them. Those leaders would tell you that they in fact do care about their people but their choice of words betrays them. 

We manage things. We lead people. We care about things, we care for people. The difference is not merely word games. The real difference is in mindset. The mindset of caring for others is the biggest difference between Authentic Leaders and those who merely have a title indicative of a leader. 

When you consistently demonstrate that you care for people the level of commitment you’re able to gain from the people you lead goes up. Way way up. People are not following you because of your title. They are following you because of what they have seen you do for others and what they have felt you do for them. 

When people feel better about themselves because of you then you are an Authentic Leader. 

I once had a person in a top level leadership position ask me how to fake authenticity. This was during a leadership workshop with his entire leadership team in the room. He said if I knew his people the way he knew his people I wouldn’t care for them either. Again, he said this out loud, with his entire leadership team in the room. I have done literally hundreds and hundreds of leadership meetings like that and I had never seen anything like that before. I’ve never seen anything like that since either. 

He was without a doubt the worst person I’ve ever seen hold a high leadership position. 

But he at least said what he thought out loud. I fear there are more people who think like him and indeed try to fake authenticity. They pretend to care. They think they are fooling people. They believe they are smarter than everyone else and that they will never be found out. 

But no one hides who they really are for very long. No one. People figure it out. If you’re in a leadership position then you must know that the people you’re supposed to be leading are almost always watching you. They are always evaluating whether or not your words match your actions. They want to know if you’re walking your talk. 

As I said earlier in this post, you cannot lead people without truly caring for them. That’s a fact. It’s also a fact that you can’t “fake care” for very long. When you suffer from a failure to care then the people you’re supposed to be leading also suffer. They suffer from a lack of true leadership. 

If you don’t genuinely care for people then I would submit that you are not qualified to lead, not even yourself. 

You’d Better Do More Than Say You’re Listening

Steve Keating 2 Comments

4.3 million people quit their jobs in September as the “Great Resignation” continues to pick up steam. This as thousands of companies continue to pretend that this won’t have any impact on them. 

In a recent survey of people who quit their jobs within the last 12 months a full 79% reported a major reason for leaving was the feeling that their efforts were not appreciated by their organizations. 

But the question is, where did that “feeling” of no appreciation come from?

In many cases it came directly from “management” not listening to their employees. I’d hazard a guess that many of the companies that lost employees told their people that “we are listening” to you. Some likely made a big deal out of their desire to listen to their employees.  They encouraged their people to “speak up.” 

Maybe those companies actually listened and maybe they didn’t. And therein lies the problem. The employees have no idea if they are being listened to because they receive no feedback on their suggestions, questions, or complaints. They don’t see any changes come about because of their efforts to communicate. 

The lack of change or feedback leads people to believe that management doesn’t value their input, experience, or knowledge. Looking at it objectively I’d have to say the people are almost certainly right. 

It’s always been that way to some extent. Today, for a variety of reasons, people are more likely to leave the company than put up with it. 

To be clear people are quitting their jobs for a wide variety of reasons but if you don’t solicit input from your people they are likely to leave faster. If you do solicit input and then appear to do nothing with it they leave even faster. 

If you are a leader in your organization you must make certain that EVERY suggestion, question, or complaint is responded to. You must make every effort to receive those suggestions, questions, or complaints with an open mind. You must be willing to guarantee that no matter the feedback from employees there will no retaliation of any kind. 

Most of all you must be willing to change what makes sense to change. You should also be prepared to explain, with some detail, why something cannot change. 

Explaining a policy or why things are done a certain way does not make you a weak leader. Someone asking why something is done a particular way is not challenging your leadership. In most cases they are trying to help. They are trying to make a difference. 

Communicating with the people you lead makes them feel valued. Feeling valued is more important than money and benefits. It’s so important that people would rather quit their jobs than sell their souls for a paycheck. If you’re running a business and you haven’t figured that out yet then you best be buying a whole bunch more “help wanted” signs cause you need a lotta help.

Some organizations will indeed be impacted less by the Great Resignation. That’s because they do more than merely listen to their people, they do something with what they have learned by listening. 

The Leadership Difference

Steve Keating 10 Comments

I’ve met a lot of “leaders” in my lifetime and a few of them actually led. 

If you’re confused by that sentence let me explain. Lots and lots of people hold positions in their organizations that would indicate they are leaders. Many of them have some fancy title that would seem to confirm it. 

Too bad for them that neither a position or title can make them a leader. Even having followers doesn’t actually make someone a leader, at least not an Authentic Leader. People can be coerced into “pretending” to follow. The truth is they are merely complying with orders and directives so they can keep their paychecks coming. 

Authentic Leaders don’t need compliance and they rarely give “orders.” They work to earn the commitment of their people so their people willingly follow them. Enthusiastically follow them. 

The followers of an Authentic Leader follow them because of what the leader has done for them. They follow because the leader makes a positive difference in the lives of the people they lead. 

I’d go so far as to say if you haven’t made a positive difference in the lives of people you think you are leading then you may be their boss but you are not their leader. If you’re not consistently showing the people you lead that you care about them as human beings then you may be their manager but you are not their leader.

If your words do not match your actions then they cannot trust you. If they cannot trust you then they may comply with your demands but they will never be committed to following you. 

If your people believe that you’re using them to advance your own career then you’ll be unable to earn that commitment no matter how high your position or fancy your title. 

So let me ask you this. Can you specifically say how you’ve made a positive difference in the life of someone you’ve led? Can you say how you demonstrate, on a regular basis that your people matter to you and your organization? Can you say when, exactly, was the last time you told them that they matter as an individual? 

If you can’t answer those questions and do so relatively quickly then you have some work to do. You’ll need to invest some time to improve your leadership skills. You likely have to change your thinking as well. Some of all you may even have to develop a heart for leadership. 

The great news is that all that’s possible. To begin all you need to do is make a decision that you will LeadToday!

Everybody Needs to be Somebody

Steve Keating 1 Comment

I’ve met people who said they didn’t matter and they claimed to be okay with that. I think they were so afraid that they didn’t matter that they just couldn’t admit how important it was to them that they actually did matter. 

Everyone wants to matter. Everyone needs to matter. We all want to be somebody. We want to be needed. We want to make a difference. And we want others to acknowledge that we make a difference. 

Authentic Leaders invest time daily to make certain that the people they lead know they matter. People who are fortunate enough to be led by an Authentic Leader never have to wonder if they are making a difference. Authentic Leaders communicate with specificity and frequency how each of their people make a difference. 

But here’s the thing…helping other people know that they matter in the world is not only the responsibility of those in leadership positions. We can all do that for each other and we should all be doing that for each other. Seven days a week. 

Think for a moment of the person most important in your life. The singularly most important person. When was the last time you told them that? Straight up. No beating around the bush. No worrying about looking foolish. No concerns about having your motives questioned.

Just flat out told them how much they matter to you. How huge a difference they make in your life. Told them pure and simple?

Tell them now. Tell them right now. Come back and read the rest of this later if you want but stop for now so you can tell that person right this minute. Don’t let another second go by. Tell them now!

I hope you’ve had to come back to this post and are not just continuing to read. If you told someone how much they mean to you then you’ve done a good thing. But don’t stop there. 

Pay attention to those you interact with. Watch for how they matter and tell them as well. Let them know how they are making a difference in your life or the lives of others. They need to hear it and you have the opportunity to be perhaps the first person to tell them in a long time.

Hearing that you matter to someone never gets old. Knowing people see and appreciate your value is priceless.

Be more present so you can notice the value in others. Then tell them what you’ve noticed. This isn’t hard work, if you pay attention you’ll see value in everyone and you’ll make their day, maybe their year, when you tell them what you’ve noticed.

Everybody needs to be somebody. Today, this very day, someone will rise up to become somebody. Will you be the one to help them? If you are it will be one of the best days of YOUR life. 

People Were People Before They Were Your People

Steve Keating 6 Comments

So this is a post that will likely cause me some trouble with the politically correct crowd. That’s because I’m going to rip on, just a little, all the new fancy titles we now see. Chief Inclusion Officer is one that comes to mind. Except some companies have decided “chief” is now offensive so they can’t use that title anymore. 

Companies seem to be in a rush to add titles with the words diversity, inclusion, equality and the like. There are so many “buzz word” titles floating around that I couldn’t possible mention them all. These companies are trying to prove that everyone in their organization is valuable. Which is a worthy thing to do. But I have a question.

Instead of endowing people with fancy titles that say “we care” how about actually caring? How about showing you care for everyone equally instead of saying it again and again?

I have tremendous faith in people’s ability to figure out if the place they work gives a damn about them. Somebody in the company with a progressive sounding job title isn’t going to fool them. 

Which brings me to more traditional sounding titles and departments. Like Human Resources. Or maybe a little more modern sounding Human Asset Management Department. Or my personal least favorite, Human Capital Resource Group. 

The problem with departments or groups with those names is it sets up the mindset that people should be managed like any other piece of capital or asset. I had the unhappy experience about 18 months ago of sitting next to a consultant during a dinner. We struck up a conversation about how their consultancy advises their clients. 

He said that when they recommend downsizing they look at job titles, work responsibilities, cost of “asset,” and how much longer the asset would be of value. They do not recommend the termination of anyone by name, that makes it too personal and may cause the management of the client company to hesitate. 

It’s sort of the same thought process as when a farmer won’t name a pig or a cow that they intend to eat one day. 

The consultant doesn’t really care how a client company thinks of their people, so long as they don’t think of them as people. They are merely assets or capital like a copier or computer. You pay them and you own them. 

But here’s the thing. They ARE people. They have always been people. They will always be people. You may pay them but you don’t own them. 

Businesses that forget that their primary business is the people business will not last. It makes no difference what you see or what you make, you are in the people business. Your people were people long before they were your people. 

It is beyond foolish for you as a leader to expect your people to care for your business or it’s customers when the best you can do is give someone in the company a new-age title that shows how progressive your organization is. People don’t care how progressive the company is when the people running the company don’t demonstrate that the company cares about them. 

When the company shows they care about their people, all their people, equally, they don’t need fancy titles. If the company fails to show they care about their people no amount of fancy titles will convince them otherwise. 

Inclusion, honoring diversity, and treating everyone equally won’t come from titles or committees, it comes from an Authentic Leader demonstrating those values on a daily basis. 

How to Give a Sincere Compliment

Steve Keating 3 Comments

When talking about giving compliments I suppose I have to get this part out of the way right up front. “This part” is the part about when to give a compliment. I also suppose we have to talk about what to compliment…and maybe what NOT to compliment.

This has gotten much tougher over the years. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine works for a large medical device company. He has worked there for a number of years, he is a well regarded engineer and has a spotless employment record. Not too long ago he was suspended for complimenting a female co-worker on her appearance; specifically how she looked in a new sweater she was wearing.

The woman he complemented seemed to appreciate the compliment. His problem started when a person who was not even a part of the conversation overheard the compliment and was offended by it. They thought it was inappropriate and offensive that he was commenting on another employees appearance.

They thought it was so inappropriate that they complained to the HR department. After a short “investigation” my friend was suspended. That might cause a person to swear off giving compliments entirely.

Did I mention that the co-worker my friend complimented was also his sister? Did I mention that he had given her the sweater for her birthday a few days before?

Even though situations like that might cause some people to completely stop the practice of giving compliments I still recommend giving them.

But give real compliments.

A real compliment has two parts.

Part one is the compliment itself. “I appreciate the extra effort you put in to help that customer work through their technical issues.”

Part two is the evidence that supports the compliment. “The reason I say that is I watched your interaction with the customer. Many people would have become frustrated with and dismissive of the customer. You kept your cool and turned a negative customer experience into a positive one.”

Have you ever received a compliment that caused you to wonder about the motives of the person giving you the compliment? It’s likely that they didn’t provide evidence to support the compliment. That evidence leaves no doubt as to the sincerity of the compliment.

Don’t give half a compliment. Always attach supporting evidence so no one has to wonder about your motives. If you can’t think of any evidence to support the compliment then ask yourself if the compliment is really worth giving. I’d suggest that it’s not.

In the politically correct world in which we now live I’d also suggest keeping your compliments focused on performance and abilities. It’s not “safe” to comment on things like appearance anymore and the reality is that in many cases it probably always was inappropriate.

But real compliments can change a person’s day. Maybe even their life. So look for real reasons to compliment others. As Dale Carnegie said, be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”