Tag Patience

How to be More Patient With Yourself

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I have heard it said that patience is a virtue. Many of the world’s greatest thinkers have emphasized the importance of patience. For Aristotle, patience was bitter but the fruit it bore was sweet. Tolstoy said it was one of the two most powerful warriors, with the other one being time. Lao Tzu believed it was one of the three greatest treasures to have along with compassion and simplicity.

Patience is a big deal!

Many of us pride ourselves on being patient with other people. We allow them to learn at their own pace. We cut them “slack” when they make mistakes. We forgive them when they are a little slower to master a skill that we think we would have mastered much sooner. By and large, most people are pretty patient.

Except with one person. That person is most often themselves. This is especially true of highly motivated people who are in a hurry to succeed. I think that’s called “the rat race.” For those of you unfamiliar with the term it comes from experiments in the late 1800’s where two rats are trying to outrun each other to get a piece of cheese. These days it’s an expression describing a way of life in which people compete with each other for power and money.

Some people thrive while running the rat race but most are slowly burning themselves out. So slowly that they don’t often realize it until it’s too late.

The vast majority’s of people living their best lives have learned to be more patient. They cut themselves the same slack they cut other people. They find the balance required to push themselves without burning themselves out.

Finding that balance requires intentionality and focus. You have to work for it. You’ll likely have to make some changes in your life. You’ll possibly have to make some sacrifices too. But you will also discover that granting yourself more patience is one of the kindest things you’ll ever do for yourself.

Being more patient with yourself involves several steps. Some of these are easy, some not so much but all of them will help you live your very best life.

1. Acknowledge Imperfection. Understand that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes or not meet your own expectations all the time.

2. Set Realistic Goals. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This allows you to track progress and celebrate small victories along the way.

3. Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend who is struggling. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, even if they are small.

4. Pay Attention. Stay present in the moment. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This helps you become more aware of negative self-talk and allows you to respond to yourself with more kindness.

5. Learn from Setbacks. Instead of being hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned, use setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how you can improve in the future.

6. Practice Gratitude. Focus on the things you are grateful for and the progress you have made, no matter how small. This helps shift your perspective from what you lack to what you have accomplished.

7. Seek Support. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who encourage and uplift you during challenging times. And do whatever it takes to separate yourself from negative people who attempt to suck the patience right out of you.

By making these practices part of daily life, you can cultivate greater patience and self-compassion. You’ll find yourself leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. That my friends is worth every bit of the effort it will take achieve, no matter how long it takes you to achieve it.

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How to Be More Patient

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I was going to title this post how to be more patient when dealing with lazy, slow minded, uncaring people who hate their job and want you to hate dealing with them too. But the title seemed a little long. I still might have used that title but I wasn’t sure anyone would have the patience to read the whole thing.

We live in an incredibly fast changing world. I’m not sure everyone agrees that all those changes are helpful. Dealing with ChatBots, PhoneBots or people who are robotic in how they “help” us requires tremendous patience. We see signs in restaurants asking us not to yell at the poor souls who actually showed up for work. That would seem to indicate that many customers don’t have the patience required to wait an hour or two for dinner.

It seems our patience in constantly being tested. And it feels like we’re failing the test way too often. But being more patient is a valuable skill. One that can contribute to better relationships, reduced stress, and improved decision-making. So here some strategies to help you cultivate patience in your life.

• Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves staying present and fully engaging with the current moment. By focusing on the present rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, you can reduce feelings of impatience.

• Set Realistic Expectations: Unrealistic expectations often lead to impatience. Assess situations realistically and set achievable goals. Understand that not everything can happen instantly or according to your desired timeline.

• Understand the Importance of Patience: Reflect on the benefits of patience. Consider how impatience may negatively impact your well-being or relationships. Understanding the importance of patience can motivate you to develop this skill.

• Take a Deep Breath: When faced with a challenging situation, take a moment to breathe deeply. Deep breathing can help calm your nervous system and give you the space to think more clearly before reacting impulsively.

• Practice Empathy: Put yourself in the shoes of others. Understanding different perspectives and appreciating the challenges others may be facing can increase your tolerance and patience.

• Develop a Positive Outlook: Cultivate a positive mindset. Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong or what you lack, look for the positive aspects of a situation. This shift in perspective can make waiting more bearable.

• Distract Yourself: Engage in activities that distract you from the source of your impatience. This could be reading a book, listening to music, or doing something enjoyable to pass the time.

• Learn from Waiting: Use waiting periods as an opportunity for personal growth. Whether it’s waiting in line or for a response, consider it a chance to practice patience and self-control.

• Practice Delayed Gratification: Train yourself to wait for rewards. Delayed gratification involves resisting the temptation for immediate rewards in favor of larger, more meaningful outcomes.

• Communicate Effectively: If you’re feeling impatient in a situation, communicate your feelings calmly and assertively. Expressing your emotions can help prevent frustration from building up.

• Set Goals and Break Them Down: Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. This can make the overall process seem less overwhelming and help you appreciate progress along the way.

• Reflect and Learn: After a challenging situation, reflect on how you handled it. Identify what triggered impatience and consider alternative ways to respond in the future. Learning from experiences can contribute to personal growth.

Developing patience is a gradual process, and it’s okay to encounter setbacks along the way. Always remember that your “emergency” isn’t necessary the other person’s emergency too. Be kind to yourself as you work on cultivating this valuable skill. You’ll be glad you did.

Understanding Success – Part Four

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Successful people get it. They simply understand some things that less successful people seem to have a hard time grasping. The things they understand are the “it’s” of success. 

This is the fourth post of a pretty long series on those “it’s.” They will be short posts, each just long enough to give you time to focus on one “it” of success until the next post arrives. I’m not locked in on just how long this series will go, it could turn out to be as many as six or even eight posts.

Because successful people are willing to ask for help they are able to get more accomplished than less successful people. Another reason that successful people get more done is because they understand the difference between procrastination and patience. 

They know that the perfect time to act seldom comes so they take action as soon as they can, whether the timing is perfect or not.

Successful people have seen how easy it is for “later” to become “never” so they don’t delay. They know there is no “someday” on a calendar, there is no “free” time in their schedule, and the less they do today the more they will have to do tomorrow. 

If you’re a habitual procrastinator then you should know this absolute fact: procrastination will kill your chances for success, if not today then tomorrow for sure. The best time to do anything is at the first opportunity you have to do it. 

Many people procrastinate simply because they don’t know what to do next so here is some life changing advice…. when you don’t know what to do just do the next right thing. No matter how small that “thing” might be you’ll have made some progress and built some momentum. Momentum creates more momentum. 

Some of you will say that you don’t know the next “right thing” to do but in all likelihood you really do. Never use “I don’t know” as an excuse to not take action. Successful people who really “don’t know” find someone who does and they ask them. Once they know they take action, immediately.

If you’re struggling with procrastination then try this simply adjustment in when you do things. If something takes less than 30 seconds to complete then do it immediately. For instance, if an email can be answered in a sentence or two then answer it immediately, don’t let it linger in your inbox, don’t open and read it several times with the intention of responding “later” because there will likely be something else more demanding of your attention later. That by the way is exactly how later turns into never.

Reject the “patience” excuse for not taking action. If you can do something now then now is the best time to do it. Realize that putting things off is seldom patience, it’s nearly always procrastination and procrastination is nearly always bad. 

Focus on what you can do right now and then do it….right now!