Tag Deciding

How to Make Difficult Decisions

Steve Keating 4 Comments

I was in a meeting several years ago when someone in a very high leadership position asked “how do you teach someone to make a decision?” I responded by saying “you let them make decisions, sometimes even bad ones.”

I’m not sure that was a very well received answer, especially the “even bad ones” part. But it’s still true today, there is no better way for anyone to learn how to make decisions than to make them. It’s kind of like riding a bike. You can watch videos on bike riding, you can read a book on how to ride a bike but at some point, the only way to learn how to actually ride a bike is to ride one. Even if that means falling off a bunch of times.

But managers in organizations have a very difficult time allowing other people, particularly people lower than them in the organization, to make decisions. They “empower” them to make decisions but they seldom enable them. That prevents even empowered people from exercising that power. And that’s just fine with most managers.

Leaders however both empower and enable their people to make decisions. They offer suggestions, they coach and they provide feedback but they seldom overrule a decision made by someone they empowered. Even at times when they know the outcome will be less than optimal.

They won’t allow their people to make large, expensive mistakes but they know allowing the small, less costly mistakes from time to time might be the best investment they can make in the development of their people.

Once the mistake is realized they coach their people to “solve” the problem on their own…that’s the “learning” part of how to make better decisions.

But making big and difficult decisions can be daunting, whether it be in business or our personal lives. If you have difficult decisions to make here’s a process that may help.

1. Gather Information. Collect all relevant information about the decision at hand. This could include pros and cons, potential consequences, and any available data or insights. You may never have all the information you’d like to have but that’s okay, some of the additional steps below can help you fill in the blanks.

2. Define Criteria. Determine the criteria that are important for making the decision. This could involve considering your values, goals, priorities, and any constraints or limitations.

3. Explore Options. Brainstorm and explore different options or alternatives. Be creative and open-minded, considering both conventional and unconventional paths.

4. Evaluate Options. Assess each option against the criteria you defined earlier. Consider the potential outcomes, risks, and benefits associated with each option.

5. Consider Consequences. Think about the short-term and long-term consequences of each option. Consider how each decision could impact your life, as well as the lives of others involved. The best decision makers I know consider not only the consequences of a decision but the consequences of the consequences of the consequences. They are often a step or two ahead of everyone else involved in the decision making process. This is the level you should work towards.

6. Trust Your Instincts. While it’s important to analyze and weigh your options carefully, sometimes your gut feeling can provide valuable insight. Trust your intuition, especially if all options seem equally appealing or unappealing. That “intuition” is often a learning from a past experience you’ve had that your conscious mind doesn’t remember but your subconscious mind does.

7. Seek Advice. Talk to trusted friends, family members, mentors, or professionals who can offer different perspectives or insights on the decision. Sometimes an outside opinion can provide clarity.

8. Make the Decision. After thorough deliberation, make a decision. Trust that you’ve considered all relevant factors to the best of your ability.

9. Take Action. Once you’ve made a decision, take action to implement it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed based on new information or changing circumstances. You would be surprised by how many people execute those first 8 steps flawlessly and still somehow miss this step. It is not really a decision unless some action is taken as a result of it. That means if you skip step nine you have NOT actually made a decision.

10. Reflect and Learn. After the decision has been made and implemented, take time to reflect on the process. Consider what went well, what could have been done differently, and what lessons you can apply to future decisions.

Making decisions can be challenging, making difficult ones is even more challenging. It’s okay to feel uncertain at times. Trust in your ability to navigate through the process and learn from the experience, regardless of the outcome.

By following this process, the more decisions you make the better your decision making will become. There will always be another difficult decision to make in your life, there won’t however be a decision you’re not prepared to make.

Making Better Decisions

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Somebody really smart once said that our lives our made from the choices we make. I believe, good or bad, we are all only one decision away from a completely different life. That means we need to be certain we are making the best decisions possible in our life. 

Making decisions is a complex process. It involves weighing various factors and considering the potential consequences of each option. Some decisions are so complex that many people decide not to make them at all. But deciding to not decide IS a decision. 

It’s a decision to allow other people or random circumstances to choose your life’s course for you. That hardly ever works out well. So YOU need to decide, even with all the risks that can come with a decision you’re better off deciding than not. 

So here are some steps you can follow that are likely to help you make better decisions.  They can also remove some of the stress associated with decision making. 

  • Identify the decision: Start by identifying the decision you need to make. It’s important to be clear about what you want to achieve and why you need to make the decision.
  • Gather information: Once you have identified the decision required, gather as much information as you can about the options available to you. This could include research, advice from others, and your own experiences. Sometimes you’ll need to “trust your gut” when making decisions. Know that your “gut” is likely a life experience that you have forgotten but your subconscious mind has not. You almost certainly know more than you realize, trust yourself. 
  • Evaluate the options: Consider the pros and cons of each option. Think about the potential benefits and risks of each choice, and assess how well each option aligns with your goals. Go deep here, consider the consequences of the consequences of the consequences. Play the “what if” game. What if this happens? What if that happens? Good decision makers are seldom surprised by an outcome of their decisions. That’s because they have considered all the possibilities. 
  • Make a decision: Based on the information you have gathered and the evaluations you have made, choose the option that best aligns with your goals. 
  • Take action: Once you have made your decision, take action to implement it. This may involve communicating your decision to others, taking steps to put your plan into action, and monitoring your progress. You may have felt a weight lifted off your shoulders when you made your decision but you need to understand, it’s not a real decision until you act upon it. 
  • Evaluate the results: After you have taken action, evaluate the results. Assess whether your decision has led to the outcomes you were hoping for, and whether you need to make any adjustments or changes going forward. I like to assume that some adjustments will be needed. Having to make adjustments is not the sign of a bad decision, it is a part of making your initial decision even better. 

The better your decisions the better your life will be. You make tons of decisions everyday. Most are made subconsciously. Some of those can have a bigger impact on our lives than we realize but it’s the ones that keep us up at night that really matter. Don’t allow other people or circumstances to make those decisions for you. You are better off making a wrong decision that you can fix rather than surrendering control of your life to someone else’s poor decisions that you can’t fix. 

Make your decisions fearlessly. Know full well that you are in control of your life and you’re only one decision away from having exactly the life you want. 

The Decisions You Make, Make You

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Research shows that the average person makes 35,000 decisions…a day! Assuming 7 hours of sleep each day that leaves 17 hours. That makes for a little over 2000 decisions an hour or one decision every two seconds. 

After seeing that research the first decision I made was to decide the researchers must be nuts. If we’re all making 35,000 decisions a day then we can’t be doing anything else. But then I made another decision to read a bit further. The article said decisions include things like deciding to read further in an article. Deciding to ignore a text notification while reading. Deciding to shift my position in the chair I was reading in. 

So whether we really make 35,000 decisions a day or not, it became clear to me that we make a whole lot more decisions than we are actually aware of. Some of those decisions have very little impact on our lives. Others have a major impact. And many, perhaps very many, we won’t understand their impact for years. 

I suspect many of the “outcomes” of our decisions we never tie back to a decision at all. But this much I’m certain of…the better the decisions we make the better the life we make as well. 

We make many huge decisions without ever considering the impact and consequences they could, or will, have on our lives. That’s because we often don’t realize how big some of our everyday decisions are.

For example, the decision about the people you allow into your life. You are the compilation of the five people you most frequently interact with. Yet for most of us we never even consider the influence other people have on our lives. We allow negative people, people who procrastinate, people who find a problem with every solution into our lives and then wonder why we struggle to be the person we want to be. 

If you want to be more successful then hang out with successful, positive and supportive people. 

I see salespeople all the time who when deciding to make one more sales call on a given day or knock off early they choose knocking off early. That’s a terrible choice in most every case. They limit their success, they limit their career and they limit their income. Salespeople who make that poor choice even a handful of times a month will need to work years to make up the lost income. But when deciding when their day will end they almost never consider the long-term consequences. 

The first step to making better decisions is realizing how many decisions you actually make. 

Little decisions, like deciding between a plain Hershey Bar or a Hershey Bar with Almonds won’t be life altering. But it’s likely that more decisions than you think will indeed have a long-term impact on your life. The most successful people consider the consequences of the consequences before making those decisions. 

You are potentially one choice away from a completely different life. There are two types of people in the world, those who believe their life is largely the sum of their choices and those who believe their life is chosen for them by the lottery of circumstances. 

If you don’t believe that then it’s likely you’re in the second group. If you’re interested in success that’s not the group you want to be in. 

Accept responsibility for your choices and you’ll be accepting responsibility for your life. 

A Guaranteed Wrong Decision

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I was asked years ago to do a Goal Setting workshop for a group of High School Seniors. We were talking about short term goals and I asked how many of the students were planning on attending college in the fall. 

The answers were varied but one stood out. The student said they had not yet decided about attending college in the fall so they were taking a year off school and then they would decided. I replied “so you’ve decided to not attend this fall.” They again said that had not yet decided about college in the fall so they were taking a year to “review their options” and then decide. So I gave the same reply. I added that by not deciding they had decided. They would not be attending college in the fall. 

The young student was frustrated with my answer. They were certain that they had not yet made a decision. But in fact the decision had been made. 

You may be tempted to cut the student a little slack given their age of lack of experience with making big decisions. Except the inability to make decisions has little to do with age or experience. 

It has to do with confidence. It has to do with being okay with failing once in a while. It has to do with the willingness to suffer the consequences of make wrong decisions. It has to do with with having the discipline to try again. And maybe again and again. 

People who can’t make a decision, or more likely, won’t make a decision, fail to understand that not making a decision IS a decision. It’s a decision to not change, to not take action, or it’s a decision to cling to a past mistake because you invested so much time in making the mistake. 

Not making a decision is guaranteed to be a wrong decision. I maintain actually making a decision that turns out to be wrong is often easier to fix than no decision because at least you’re now certain what doesn’t work. 

When you’re making a big decision and you’re not sure what to do then break the big decision into a series of smaller ones and do the next right thing to do. No matter how little that “right thing” is you’ll be creating momentum towards the big decision. You’ll be making progress and progress is always a good thing to make. 

If you think you truly can’t decide between a couple of options then simply flip a coin. I can promise you when that coin is in the air you’ll know exactly how you want it to land. Then, regardless of how the coin actually lands, you’ll know which option to choose. 

That may sound silly but it works amazingly well. But in order to find out for yourself you do have to decide to try it out. 

Listening to You

Steve Keating 5 Comments

There’s a pretty good chance that everything you know to be true isn’t. “Knowing” things that you really don’t know will get you in as much trouble, or maybe more, then not knowing about them at all.

The good news is that there also is a pretty good chance that you know stuff that you don’t even know you know.

The stuff you know that you don’t know you know is sometimes called intuition or instinct. I think psychologists would say that it’s actually things you’ve learned that your conscious mind has forgotten but your subconscious mind hasn’t.

Leaders who lead in difficult times trust those instincts. They also know that they could be wrong about most anything so they verify what they “know” to be true. In order to do either of those you must work with a wide open mind.

When you’re unsure of anything it’s good leadership practice to seek out advice from those you trust. Listen to them. When you’re sure of something it’s a good idea to listen to opposing viewpoints too, if only to determine if others are as sure as you. This is when an open mind is particularly important.

Great leaders have open minds, they seek out advice and then act. They may or may not follow the advice of others. They listen to everyone and everyone includes themselves.

Don’t forget, your instincts could be spot on. Just because you don’t remember learning something doesn’t mean your entire brain has forgotten it too.

Listen to yourself. Trust your instincts and trust your gut. Your experience will not mislead you, your experience has no motive of its own. Using your personal experience to make decisions shows that you can learn from your successes AND your mistakes.

So go ahead and seek the guidance of others but seek your own guidance too. When you listen to you it’s possible you’re listening to the one person who can help you the most.

You most likely know more than you think you do, but remember, no one knows it all.

Tough Decisions

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There are many characteristics that make a leader. One of the most important is good judgment, especially when making tough decisions. Poor decision making can make small problems big and cause big problems to become fatal.

The tendency of weak leaders is to put off decisions as long as possible. Sometimes it’s actually possible to put off a decision forever. Except it’s not really possible.

What weaker leaders don’t seem to understand is that not making a decision IS a decision. It’s a decision not to decide and that particular decision is almost always a bad decision.

Other leaders, even good leaders, want to wait to make a decision until they have as much information as possible to make a correct decision. That’s good thinking…except when it isn’t.

The very best leaders are prepared to make decisions even when they don’t have all the information they wish they had. They are prepared to make decisions even when the information they use to make those decisions changes every day.

They use past experience as reference points and their “gut instincts” to make the best decision possible at the time the decision needs to be made. They don’t only do that with small or easy decisions. In fact oftentimes they have to make the tough decisions, even the toughest decisions, without all the information they wish they had.

But Authentic Leaders make the decision anyway.

Authentic Leaders know that it’s easier to fix a wrong decision than it is to fix no decision. A real decision causes action to be taken and that action can be adjusted as many times as a fast changing situation may require. No decision is a decision to not take action and that inertia becomes more difficult to overcome the longer it persists.

It takes a ton more fuel to get a plane in the air than it does to keep it there. Changing course also requires far less energy than taking off. So it is with decisions too. Once you’ve made a real decision you’re in motion and motion begets motion.

Authentic Leaders make tough decisions. Many of them don’t enjoy having to do that but they make those decisions anyway. They know some of their decisions will be wrong but most of them, especially the big ones, will be right.

Don’t delay when it comes to making a decision. The moment you have enough information to make a decision make it. If you don’t have enough information to make a decision and a decision must still be made then make the decision.

Somewhere inside all of us is the ability to make good decisions. Authentic Leaders reach within themselves and bring that ability to the surface. That “reach” begins with a willingness to risk being wrong. It includes an understanding that a wrong decision gives a leader more control over a situation than no decision at all.

Don’t try to hide behind a “no decision,” take a risk of being wrong and make a tough decision, who knows, you may be right.

Change the Trajectory of Your Life

Steve Keating 8 Comments

A little kid walks into a candy store with his dad and was amazed by the variety of treats to choose from.

 

“What should I choose? What should I choose? What should I choose?” He asked himself.

 

“Come on son, we don’t have all day,” his dad said.

 

“These are my favorites. No wait, these are my favorites.” He walked along the aisles, picking up bags and putting them back. He just couldn’t make up his mind.

 

“Come on son, make up your mind, we have to go,” his impatient dad said.

 

Frantically, the boy ran around the store, his eyes moving from one shelf to another, but all of the options looked so good and he couldn’t make a decision.

 

Eventually, the dad had enough, grabbed his son by the hand and they walked out of the store empty-handed. The young boy had tears in his eyes. He wanted them all, but ended up with nothing because he couldn’t choose just one.

 

At some point or another we have all been that little kid. The world we live in is that candy store and sadly, some people never do decide.

 

There are a ton of decisions to be made but if we don’t make a decision about our career, education, relationships, investments, church or other important issues, we end up empty-handed. 

 

Sometimes we worry about making the wrong choice so we just decide to delay the decision. Well, that delay is a decision. It’s a decision to not decide and that is almost always the wrong decision.

 

You are perhaps only one decision away from changing the entire trajectory of your life. If you’re not where you want to be it’s likely because of decisions you’ve made in the past or perhaps you’re where you are because of decisions you didn’t make. 

 

If you’ve hesitated to make that decision then that’s on you. It’s your life, you should be deciding as much as possible who and what is in it. 

 

Deciding isn’t all that hard. Making a decision however can be very challenging. What’s the difference you ask…well deciding is choosing to do something. Making a decision is actually doing it. 

 

No matter what you decide it’s not really a decision until you take action to make it happen. Good intentions are not a decision. 

 

Making a decision requires discipline. Discipline is best described as wanting something more tomorrow than the something you want today. Think of it like this: you want to weigh less tomorrow but you have ice cream in the freezer today. If your desire to weigh less is greater than your desire for ice cream then you’ll avoid the freezer. If not, well then enjoy the ice cream. 

 

Good decisions come from discipline. Bad decisions frequently come from a lack of discipline.


When you’re ready to change the trajectory of your life you’ll find the discipline you need to do it. Don’t just decide to do something, make the decision to actually do it.