Has someone ever given you a compliment and you weren’t sure of their motives? Perhaps it was even subconsciously. Maybe you downright wondered if they wanted something in return.
It’s nice to give compliments. It’s better to give unquestionably sincere compliments. The kind that leaves no doubt that you mean what you said and that you expect nothing in return. Sometimes we throw out complements in a sort of mindless fashion. We mean what we say but we don’t put enough thought into it to make certain the person on the receiving end knows how sincere we are.
An unquestionably sincere compliment actually has two parts. The compliment and the evidence to back it up. Think of it this way; you give someone a compliment and then notice a questioning look on their face. The look indicates that they may be wondering why you said that.
So don’t let them wonder.
Immediately after giving the compliment add “and the reason I say that is.” The “reason” is the evidence. It adds depth to the compliment and supports it’s sincerity. It leaves no doubt as to your motive for giving it. The compliment becomes more valuable.
This takes a bit of work, it requires some thought before you toss out the next “nice job” compliment. It’s worth it however when you see the difference in how people respond to what you’ve said. Give it a try and see for yourself.
I can’t end an article about giving compliments without at least mentioning the proper way to receive one. Never give a compliment back. By that I mean when someone says “nice shirt,” don’t respond by saying “this old thing.” When you say that you’ve refused the compliment and may have offended the person who gave you the compliment.
The only proper way of responding to a compliment is to say “thank you.” Nothing more is needed. Just say thanks!