Tag Being Appreciative

How to be More Appreciative

Steve Keating 2 Comments

What’s the first thing you do every morning? Is it checking your email? Maybe it’s checking your text messages. How about perhaps checking your thinking? Yep, I said thinking!

While I understand how tempting it is to grab the phone and check messages if you want a happier and more productive 2024 I highly recommend resisting that temptation. Instead check the first thought that’s in your head. If you’re lucky, that first thought will be about something you appreciate. If it’s not then I suggest you instantly replace that thought with one about something or someone you do appreciate.

When your first thought of the day is one of gratitude and appreciation the rest of your thoughts that day will be better because of it. How you begin your day really does impact the rest of your day. There will certainly be days where it feels as if your life is out of your control but there will never be a day that you can’t begin with a grateful heart.

But yes, I am once again aware that this is often easier said than done. But it is not impossible. Appreciating what you have instead of always wanting more is a mindset that involves cultivating gratitude and mindfulness. Here are some practical ideas to help you develop this perspective. Its a perspective that will not only change how you look at things, it’s likely to change the things you look at.

Practice Gratitude:

• Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. Consider starting a gratitude journal where you write down three things you’re thankful for every day. This can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. The new journal app on iPhones makes this super easy to do.

Think the Here and Now:

• Engage in thinking that brings your attention to the present moment. This can help you appreciate the current state of your life rather than getting lost in thoughts about the future or past.

Reflect on Achievements:

• Remind yourself of your accomplishments and the progress you’ve made. Reflecting on your achievements can provide a sense of fulfillment and contentment.

Set Realistic Goals:

• While having goals is important, ensure they are realistic and achievable. Setting unattainable goals may lead to a perpetual feeling of discontent. Celebrate small victories along the way.

Limit Social Comparison:

• Avoid constantly comparing yourself to others, especially in terms of material possessions or social status. Everyone’s journey is unique, and external markers of success may not necessarily bring happiness.

Thoughtful Consumption:

• Be mindful of your consumption habits. Consider whether the things you desire are driven by genuine needs or societal pressures. Practicing thoughtful consumption can lead to a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Volunteer or Give Back:

• Engaging in acts of kindness or volunteering can shift your focus from what you lack to what you can give. Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and gratitude.

Savor the Moment:

• Take time to savor the simple pleasures in life. Whether it’s a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, or a moment of quiet reflection, appreciating these small moments can enhance your overall sense of contentment.

Cultivate Contentment:

• Make a conscious effort to cultivate contentment in your life. This involves recognizing and accepting the present moment without constantly yearning for something more.

Regular Reflection:

• Periodically reflect on your life, values, and priorities. This self-reflection can help you align your desires with what truly matters to you, fostering a greater sense of appreciation for the present.

Appreciating what you have is an ongoing practice that requires effort and self-awareness. By incorporating these ideas into your daily life, you can shift your perspective and find greater satisfaction in the things and people you already have in your life. It’s entirely possible you’ll discover that you’ve already achieved a level of success beyond what you imagined could.

Take the Bait

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Generally speaking when “bait” is taken it turns out rather badly for whoever took the bait. I think that’s why they call email scams “phishing” attacks. Some con artist casts some bait and an unsuspecting person “takes the bait” and the outcome is less than optimal. 

Ask any fish and they can tell you taking the bait is a really bad idea. 

But not always. Because leaders aren’t fish.

Let me tell you about Larry and Harry. Harry works for Larry and has been a loyal team member for some time. He typically outworks his co-workers and Larry values him beyond measure. 

On one particularly challenging day Larry asks Harry to give even more effort than normal. Harry assures his boss that he is up to the task and sets out to get the job done. As Harry undertakes the extra workload he can’t help but notice his co-workers coasting through their day as usual. But Harry pushes through, truly giving an A Plus effort. 

At the end of his day Harry reports on his day to Larry. He tells him he got this done, he got that done. He had several issues but overcame them to get it all done. He shares that he even gave up his breaks and lunch to figure out a particularly challenging task. He reports that he is completely worn out but proud of what he was able to accomplish. 

Larry replies with the detailed results of his day as well. He managed to accomplish a ton and he might be even more worn out than Harry. 

Harry heads home for the day we three thoughts on his mind. One, he is wondering what he has to do to get a little appreciation from Larry. Two, he is thinking about his co-workers who floated through their day and received the same level of appreciation from Larry that he did…zero. Third, he’s thinking about whether or not it “pays” to put in the extra effort and whether or not he’s the stupid one for working harder than the others. 

There is not an Authentic Leader in the world that wants their people thinking any of those things. 

You see, when Harry shared the results of his day with his boss he was fishing. Fishing for a simple response, one that would feed his desire to outwork others. All he needed to hear from Larry was a sincere “Thank you” for a job well done. Instead he felt in competition with his boss for who got the most done. 

Larry failed to take the bait. Then he failed in his leadership role. 

The thing is, Larry is a pretty good leader, he just forgot that leadership is a full time job. He forgot to always be on the lookout for an opportunity to recognize his people. He forgot that failure to recognize his people can turn a high performing team member into a mediocre performer overnight. He forgot that failure to recognize his people is a fast way to demotivate his people.

It’s an easy thing to forget. But the best leaders don’t forget that their own success is completely dependent upon the success of their people. That’s why they always look for opportunities to show their people that they make a difference and it’s noticed. 

When was the last time you offered one of your people a simple thank you for a job well done? Don’t wait for the bait, do it today! 

The Power of Gratitude

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Of all the attributes successful people possess few are more important than a grateful heart.

Back in my days of working with the Dale Carnegie Organization there was a 50 something guy in one of our classes who looked very successful. He obviously had money, drove his choice of the many fancy cars he owned. He had houses (notice I didn’t say homes) around the world in which he could live comfortably. At first glance he appeared to have it all.

But it was never enough. He was one of the most unhappy and “relationship poor” people I had ever met.

The stories he told were in stark contrast to the ones told by a 30 something guy with 5 kids. It seemed as if every example from the younger man was laced with struggles and challenges that the older man knew nothing about. His stories were also filled with something else missing from the older man’s…a grateful heart.

He appreciated the opportunity every challenge presented him. He appreciated the chance to learn and overcome obstacles which he knew would better prepare him for the future. He found “the silver lining” in every cloud.

It was in that particular 12 week Dale Carnegie course that I learned about the true power of gratefulness.

The older, more successful appearing man in the 12 week program knew nothing of his gifts. He knew little of his actual strengths, and he had long ago surrendered his power to be happy.

The younger man’s thoughts were focused on appreciating what he had, not what he wanted. He was thankful for what he was able to earn. Thankful for his God given gifts that made it possible for him to support his family. Thankful for his one overcrowded home in a modest neighborhood and I suspect thankful every time his 20 year old car actually started.

He was happy and as far as he was concerned, one of the richest people on earth.

Now I ask you…which of those two men was the most successful?

You may find this difficult to believe if you find yourself struggling. You will find it hard to believe if you’re a “keeping up with the Joneses” type person. But your greatest happiness is within you, not in chasing what you’re without.

Practice gratefulness each day. Absolutely work hard for your dreams but make time each day to also appreciate what you already have.

If you find it hard to be grateful for what you have today it’s very likely you’ll find it just as hard to be grateful for what you may have tomorrow. It has been my experience that an ungrateful heart is also an unhappy one.

“Things” will never make you happy but the power of gratitude most certainly will. If nothing else, be grateful for that.