How to Determine Your Core Values

Our last post focused on setting and achieving real goals. But we didn’t invest a lot of time in an essential step in the goal setting process. That step is determining your core values.

Your core values are the guiding principles that shape your decisions, actions, and ultimately, your life. They reflect what truly matters to you—your priorities, beliefs, and what you stand for. But how do you find these values, especially when life’s noise can make it hard to hear your inner voice? This post will guide you through a practical, introspective process to determine your core values and start living in alignment with them.

Why Core Values Matter

Core values act like a compass. They help you navigate tough choices, set boundaries, and pursue goals that feel meaningful. Without clarity on your values, you might feel lost, unfulfilled, or pulled in directions that don’t resonate with who you are. Knowing your core values empowers you to live YOUR LIFE and make decisions with confidence.

Step-by-Step Process to Identify Your Core Values

Here’s a clear, actionable approach to uncovering your core values. Grab a notebook, set aside some quiet time, likely lots of quiet time. Determining your core values is serious business, give it the time it deserves. Now, let’s dive in.

1. Reflect on Peak Experiences

Think about moments in your life when you felt truly alive, fulfilled, or proud. These could be personal achievements, meaningful relationships, or even small, quiet moments that left a lasting impact.

• Questions to ask:

• What was happening during those moments?

• Why did they feel so significant?

• What about these experiences made you feel aligned or “at home”?

Example: If you felt most alive while volunteering, values like service, compassion, or community might be at play.

Write down 3-5 peak experiences and jot down the feelings or themes that stand out.

2. Identify Moments of Discomfort or Conflict

Sometimes, your values become clear when they’re tested. Think about times when you felt frustrated, angry, or out of sorts—moments when something just didn’t sit right.

• Questions to ask:

• What was happening that felt “off”?

• What boundary or belief felt violated?

• What would have made the situation feel right?

Imagine you felt uneasy when someone pressured you to compromise your principles at work. What are your core values? Integrity, honesty, or something else?

List a few situations that bothered you and note the underlying issues.

3. Explore Your Role Models

Think about people you admire—family, friends, public figures, or even fictional characters. What draws you to them?

• What qualities or behaviors do they embody?

• Why do these traits resonate with you?

• How do their actions reflect what you want to stand for?

Example: If you admire someone’s courage to speak their truth, values like authenticity or bravery might be important to you. Write down 2-3 role models and the qualities you respect in them.

4. Brainstorm a Values List

Now, start creating a list of potential values. Here’s a short sample of common ones: honesty, freedom, growth, family, creativity, justice, adventure, security, kindness, respect, achievement, balance.

Look at your notes from steps 1-3. What words or themes keep popping up?

Don’t overthink it—write down any value that feels relevant, even if it’s vague.

Aim for a list of 10-20 values to start. You’ll narrow it down later.

5. Narrow Down to Your Top 3-5 Values

A long list of values can feel overwhelming, so let’s refine it. Your core values are the ones you’d fight for—the non-negotiables that define you.

Group similar values: For example, if you wrote “honesty,” “truth,” and “integrity,” combine them into one.

Prioritize: Ask yourself, “If I could only choose one value to live by, what would it be?” Then the next, and so on.

Test them: Imagine a scenario where you have to choose between two values (e.g., security vs. adventure). Which one feels more “you”?

Aim for 3-5 core values that feel deeply true. For each, write a sentence explaining what it means to you.

Example:

• Value: Growth

• Meaning: I’m all about learning, growing, and stepping out of my comfort zone to become the best version of myself.

6. Check in with Your Life

Take a look at your current life—your relationships, career, hobbies, and daily choices. Do they match your chosen values? If not, where’s the disconnect?

• Questions to ask:

• Where do I feel most connected to these values?

• Where am I compromising them?

• What small changes could bring me closer to living these values fully?

This step isn’t about judgment—it’s about clarity. When things don’t align, it often means there are areas where you can make intentional changes.

Putting Your Values into Action

Once you’ve figured out your core values, they become a guide for making decisions and growing. Here are a few ways to live them out:

• Set goals aligned with your values: If “connection” is a value, make sure to spend quality time with loved ones or build new relationships.

• Use them to say “no”: If something—like a job or commitment—goes against your values, give yourself permission to say no.

• Check in regularly: Revisit this process every year or during big changes to stay true to yourself.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

• Choosing “should” values: Don’t pick values because society, family, or culture expects them. Choose what feels authentic to you.

• Being too vague: If a value like “happiness” feels too broad, dig deeper. What kind of happiness? Joy through creativity? Peace through balance?

• Ignoring trade-offs: Living by your values can mean tough choices, like leaving a comfortable but unfulfilling job. Be ready to prioritize what matters most.

Final Thoughts

Determining your core values is a personal journey, but it’s one of the most rewarding steps you can take toward a meaningful life. By reflecting on your experiences, narrowing down what truly matters, and aligning your choices with those truths, you’ll build a foundation for authenticity and purpose.

Remember, take your time with this process. The key is to start, trust yourself, and let your inner compass guide you.

What’s one value you think might be at your core? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts!