How to Control Your Spending Without Feeling Deprived

A few weeks back I wrote a post about how to make a little extra money. Most of the suggestions offered ideas to add a few hundred bucks a month to your bank account without a ton of effort. A few of the ideas could turn into significant money-makers. But of course, those required more effort over a longer period of time.

I had lunch with a friend shortly after the post published, and they were sharing with me how they needed ideas for making LOTS more money with minimal effort. They explained how expensive everything was, and there was no way they could get by on the puny income they earned. Their last raise put him over 100k a year, and his spouse was over 100k too.

But they were barely getting by, even after making “tremendous” sacrifices. The sacrifices included keeping their iPhones for two full years. They are discussing potentially doing the same with their Apple Watches. They now limit their Starbucks trips to weekdays and make their coffee at home on the weekends.

I asked how much these “sacrifices” were saving them. My friend had no idea. He had no idea because, in reality, he and his wife have no clue where the hell their money goes.

Before my wife and I were even married, we made a budget; it “earmarked” every dollar we made. We knew where our money was going to go before we even made it. It was a fairly liberal budget; we didn’t feel as if we were denying ourselves anything. The budget wasn’t designed so much to not spend money; it was to make certain we knew where we were spending it.

Now, years later, when we really have little need to budget, we still track our spending. The numbers in the budget are bigger, but we can still tell you pretty much where every dollar goes. That knowledge helps us live very comfortably and deal with any surprises that pop up without stressing over where the money will come from.

The challenge for many people is that their money slips away quietly. A coffee here, a subscription there, a quick online “add to cart” — and suddenly, their budget is bleeding.

Odds are that happens to many of you currently reading this post. The good news is that controlling your spending isn’t about becoming a miser or denying yourself every joy. It’s about being intentional with your money so you can use it for what truly matters. Here’s what intentionality in finances looks like.

Know Where Your Money is Going

Before you can control your spending, you need to see it clearly. Track every dollar for at least a month. You can use budgeting apps, a spreadsheet, or even pen and paper. Patterns will emerge—often surprising ones—that reveal where your money leaks are.

Set Clear Priorities

It’s easier to say “no” to an impulse purchase when you have a bigger “yes” in mind. Decide what matters most—whether that’s paying off debt, saving for a vacation, or building an emergency fund—and let those goals guide your spending decisions.

Create a Realistic Budget

A budget isn’t a punishment; it’s a plan. Allocate your income toward necessities, savings, and some “fun money” so you don’t feel deprived. The key word is realistic—if your budget is too tight, you’ll give up on it.

Practice the 24-Hour Rule

Impulse buys are the enemy of financial control. If you see something you want that isn’t essential, wait 24 hours before buying it. Most of the time, the desire fades, and you’ll be glad you saved the money.

Limit Temptations

If online shopping is your weakness, remove saved credit card info from websites and unsubscribe from promotional emails. If dining out is draining your wallet, prep meals at home in advance so convenience isn’t calling your name.

Use Cash for Discretionary Spending

There’s something about handing over physical bills that makes spending feel more “real.” Try withdrawing a set amount of cash each week for non-essential purchases—when it’s gone, it’s gone. In our younger years, this worked like magic for us.

Review and Adjust Regularly

Your financial life will change—so should your budget and spending habits. Review your expenses monthly, celebrate your progress, and make adjustments when necessary. Some months will be harder than others; the key is to NOT give up.

Lastly, educate yourself on the concept of the future value of money. The future value of money is the idea that money you have today will be worth more in the future if it’s invested or earns interest — and worth less if it sits idle due to inflation.

At its core, it comes from two principles:

Earning Potential (Time Value of Money) – Money today can be invested to earn interest, dividends, or other returns, meaning it can grow over time.

Inflation – Over time, rising prices reduce the purchasing power of money, so $100 in the future won’t buy what $100 buys today.

In short: Future value answers the question, “If I put my money to work now, instead of spending it, how much will it be worth later?”

Bottom Line: Controlling your spending isn’t about restriction—it’s about choice. When you spend with intention, you buy yourself freedom, stability, and peace of mind.