Say what? If something about the title of this post doesn’t sound exactly right to you, it might be because you’ve never heard of being a good “hearer.” But you know what I mean because being a good hearer is the same as being a good listener.
Or is it?
Hearing and being a good listener are fundamentally different.
Hearing
Definition: Hearing is the physiological process of perceiving sound. It involves the ears detecting sound waves and sending signals to the brain.
Passive: It does not require conscious effort; it happens automatically if your auditory system is functioning.
Focus: It’s primarily about detecting noise, tone, and volume rather than meaning.
Example: Hearing someone talk in a crowded room but not paying attention to their words.
Being a Good Listener
Definition: Listening is an active process where you not only hear sounds but also focus on understanding and interpreting the meaning of what is being said.
Active: It requires conscious effort, attention, and engagement.
Skills Involved:
Paying full attention to the speaker.
Avoiding distractions.
Asking clarifying questions.
Demonstrating empathy and understanding.
Providing appropriate feedback.
Focus: It’s about comprehension, emotional connection, and effective communication.
Example: Actively engaging in a conversation, paraphrasing to confirm understanding, and responding thoughtfully.
Hearing is a physical ability. You can buy hearing aids to help you be a better hearer. But being a good listener requires effort on your part. You cannot buy anything to help you. The good news is that listening is a skill that you can develop. It doesn’t cost you a thing; it only requires effort and intentionality. But it can literally be a priceless gift… to you and those you listen to.
Listening to people, truly listening, is perhaps the most basic skill required for sustainable success in every area of our lives. The majority of what we know we learned by listening; that’s unlikely to change anytime soon.
So if you want a better life, it seems that being a better listener is the fastest way to achieve it.
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