Is Your Cell Phone Controlling You?

I am old enough to vaguely remember a time before cell phones. I cannot for the life of me remember how I used all the time I now spend on my phone. I do, however, absolutely remember not being annoyed by people holding up a checkout line while talking to someone about some mind-numbing nonsense.

Research shows that the average person in the United States today checks their phone every 12 minutes, that’s approximately 80 times a day. This number, of course, varies by person but some people check their phones more often, a lot more often.

That means the average American spends 4 hours and 37 minutes looking at their phone every day. That quickly adds up over time to about 1 day every week, 6 days every month, and 70 days every year. The average American will spend 12 years staring at their phone screens over their lifespan.

I don’t know about you, but those numbers give me cause for concern. I’m pretty sure I might be above average on this.

At the very least, my cell phone use is a bad habit. It’s mindless, and it wastes a ton of time. Yes, it can add all kinds of productivity to my life, but if I’m honest, my cell phone use is a net negative productivity-wise. I refuse to say I’m addicted to a phone, but it does seem to have a level of control over my life I’m not comfortable with. So I’m going to take control back… now.

I know it won’t be easy, but I’ve done a bunch of research on this, and I think I’ve found some ideas to help me make my phone work for me instead of perhaps the other way around. Here’s my plan.

1. Identify the “Why”

Recognize what leads to excessive use: boredom, stress, or notifications. Once your’re consciously aware of that, you can take steps to minimize them.

2. Set Clear Goals

Determine why you want to cut back: Improved productivity? Better relationships? Clear goals make it easier to stay motivated.

Limit daily screen time: Set a target for phone usage through apps or your phone’s built-in settings. I’ve already started using this; it’s like magic. Truth be told, it can also be frustrating to have an app shut down on you because you’ve hit your limit. But, if you’re serious about controlling your phone, you’ll deal with it.

Try third-party apps: Use apps like Moment, Freedom, or Forest to block distractions or gamify staying off your phone.

3. Turn Off Non-Essential Notifications

Disable unnecessary notifications: Alerts from social media or other apps create constant distractions. Only keep important ones like texts or calls. So here’s the challenge with this one. You have to be honest with yourself about what’s important. A text from your kids or your spouse is, to me anyway, almost always important. A text from one of your fantasy football pals…not so much. That might sound sacrilegious to some of you, but come on, are you serious about this or not?

4. Create Phone-Free Zones

Establish no-phone zones in areas like the bedroom, dining room, or during social events. This helps build boundaries around when and where you use your phone. It may seem odd, but you DO NOT need your phone at the dinner table. Unless you live alone, there may be another human there who you could actually speak to, face-to-face. Like the olden days.

5. Replace Phone Time with Other Activities

Find alternatives to replace idle phone time: reading, exercising, journaling, or picking up a hobby. Engaging in these activities makes it easier to stay away from your phone. Find things and people to do them with that make you forget to check your phone. That’s like a double win.

6. Designate Phone-Free Times

Set specific hours when you won’t use your phone, like during meals, before bed, or in the morning. Creating structured breaks reduces mindless scrolling. There is all kinds of research that indicates that playing with your phone before bed messes with your sleep. Ditch the phone early in the evening and have a healthier sleep.

7. Establish Accountability

Involve friends or family: Share your goals and progress with someone who can help keep you accountable. Don’t get defensive when you’re “caught” breaking your own rules. You asked for accountability, so be accountable.

8. Keep Your Phone Out of Reach

Physically distance yourself from your phone: Keep it in another room or on the other side of the room to resist the urge to check it constantly. This is going to work better for you if you have notifications turned off. Or you can use the focus settings on an iPhone to turn them off temporarily or during certain times of the day.

I’m not saying any of these will be easy. I do think it will be easier if you stop and reflect on what your phone usage is causing you to miss. Great conversations with the love of your life. Quality time and real conversations with your kids. The time you miss with your kids is time you’ll wish you had back one day. I’m pretty sure you would tell anyone that your kids are more important than anything you’re doing on your phone. Remind yourself of that from time to time.

I’m looking forward to checking my phone only 40 times a day. That sounds ridiculous, but when you consider the averages, 40 times a day would be awesome.

So… who is going to join me in taking charge of your phone? And in a kind of weird twist, the more you take charge of your phone, the less you’ll have to charge it. 😎