How to Deal with People Who Have Aggressive Personalities

Generally speaking, I am not an aggressive person. Like most people, I can become somewhat aggressive when pushed, but it’s not my normal personality. But for some people, it’s as normal as waking up in the morning. It is fair to say that those people have an aggressive personality.

People with an aggressive personality are not exactly pleasant to deal with. At best, we might describe them as pushy; at worst, we would say they are… well, pick your favorite derogatory word and insert it here.

It’s tempting to just ignore this type of person, but unfortunately, life and work don’t always allow us to do that. Eventually, we all will have to deal with people who have aggressive personalities. That can be a significant challenge. But all is not lost because there are some strategies you can use to manage these interactions effectively.

1. Stay Calm and Composed

• Keep your emotions in check: Don’t respond to aggression with aggression. Take deep breaths and remain as calm as possible.

• Use a neutral tone: Speak in a calm, even tone. This can help de-escalate the situation.

2. Set Boundaries

• Be clear and assertive: Politely but firmly, communicate your boundaries. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable.

• Use “I” statements: For example, “I think it’s unproductive when you raise your voice,” rather than blaming them directly. I hope it goes without saying, but “I think you should shut the F up,” is likely just as unproductive, so hold off on that.

3. Avoid Unproductive Confrontation

• Pick your battles: Not every issue needs to be addressed immediately, especially if the person is in a highly aggressive state.

• Redirect the conversation: Shift the focus to a more neutral or positive topic to defuse tension. Understand, you’re not running from a potential confrontation; you’re picking a better time and place so the confrontation can be more productive.

4. Listen Actively

• Show empathy: Sometimes, aggressive behavior stems from underlying frustration or stress. Acknowledge their feelings without necessarily agreeing with them.

• Don’t interrupt: Let them express themselves fully before responding. This can prevent further escalation. Sometimes aggression can be stopped of lessened just by letting the aggressors spout off a awhile.

5. De-escalate the Situation

• Offer solutions: If the aggression is due to a specific problem, suggest constructive solutions.

• Take a break: If the situation becomes too heated, suggest a break to allow both parties to cool down.

6. Seek Support

• Involve a mediator: If the aggression continues or escalates, involve a third party who can mediate the situation.

• Know when to walk away: In some cases, the best option might be to remove yourself from the situation entirely. Some people, especially aggressive people, are just too toxic to deal with. Remove them from your life sooner rather than later. You’ll be much better off for it.

7. Reflect and Learn

• Analyze the situation: After the interaction, reflect on what worked and what didn’t. This can help you prepare for future encounters. If nothing worked, refer to strategy number 6.

People with aggressive personalities are a fact of life. That doesn’t mean they have to be a fact of yours. Use these strategies to control your emotions when you’re forced to deal with these types of personalities. You’ll appear more professional and you’ll be protecting your mental health as well.