Tag Decisions

Living According to Your Core Values

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Many people struggle with setting meaningful goals for their life. Many of those same people find it difficult to make decisions, especially big, life altering decisions. A good number of those same people have relationship issues throughout their lives. They can’t quite seem to find their “match.”

All of those challenges have one underlying cause. That cause is Core Values.

Just to be clear, it is not a lack of Core Values. It is a lack of understanding exactly what their Core Values are. I believe everyone has Core Values, those values that are life defining. Values that are worth fighting for. Even values that are worth dying for.

But through the years I’ve come to realize that most people, perhaps even the vast majority of people, have invested scant time thinking and reflecting on what their Core Values actually are. Those Core Values are buried deep within them but not so deep that they don’t impact their thinking. Their ever present Core Values inform their thinking but they do so subconsciously.

When people know and understand their Core Values they bring them to the surface. Once surfaced their Core Values help them make better and bigger decisions. They inform them as to what goals truly matter long term. Their Core Values help them find and keep a person who will be their partner for the rest of their lives.

Core Values are a very big deal. They are an even bigger deal once you’ve determined your Core Values and decide to consciously live your life accordingly.

Determining your Core Values involves reflecting on what matters most to you in life. Start by considering experiences, beliefs, and principles that have consistently guided your decisions and actions. Ask yourself probing questions about what brings you fulfillment, what you stand for, and what you couldn’t live without. Write down a list of potential values, then narrow it down to the ones that resonate with you the most deeply. Your Core Values should reflect your authentic self and serve as a compass for making choices aligned with your true priorities.

Core Values vary from person to person, but some common examples include:

1. Integrity: Being honest, trustworthy, and acting with moral principles.

2. Respect: Treating others with dignity, empathy, and understanding.

3. Responsibility: Taking ownership of one’s actions and obligations.

4. Excellence: Striving for the highest quality and continuous improvement.

5. Compassion: Showing kindness, empathy, and care towards others.

6. Courage: Facing challenges with bravery and perseverance.

7. Equality: Believing in fairness and justice for all individuals.

8. Gratitude: Appreciating the blessings and expressing thankfulness.

9. Authenticity: Being true to oneself and living with transparency.

10. Collaboration: Working together and valuing teamwork and cooperation.

These are just a few examples, and individuals may prioritize different values based on their personal experiences, beliefs, and aspirations.

Actually living according to your Core Values involves aligning your actions, decisions, and behaviors with the principles that matter most to you. Here’s how you can do it.

Identify your core values. Reflect on what truly matters to you and define your core values. Write them down to have a clear understanding of what they are.

Integrate values into decision-making. When faced with choices or dilemmas, consider how each option aligns with your core values. Choose the path that resonates with your principles, even if it’s challenging.

Set goals aligned with your values. Define short-term and long-term goals that reflect your core values. This ensures that your actions are directed towards what you find meaningful and fulfilling.

Practice self-awareness. Regularly evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions to ensure they are consistent with your values. Adjust your behavior if you notice any discrepancies.

Communicate your values. Be open about your core values with others, including friends, family, and colleagues. This helps create authentic connections and fosters mutual understanding.

Stay true to yourself. Resist the temptation to compromise your values for external approval or short-term gains. Stand firm in your beliefs, even in the face of adversity.

Learn and grow. Continuously seek opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement that are in line with your core values. Embrace challenges as opportunities to strengthen your commitment to what matters most to you.

By consciously integrating your Core Values into your daily life, you can lead a more authentic, purposeful, and fulfilling existence. You will make better decisions, choose better friends, and set meaningful goals that motivate you to achieve your full potential. In short, you’ll live your very best life and you’ll know exactly how, and why you’re doing it.

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How to Make Difficult Decisions

Steve Keating 4 Comments

I was in a meeting several years ago when someone in a very high leadership position asked “how do you teach someone to make a decision?” I responded by saying “you let them make decisions, sometimes even bad ones.”

I’m not sure that was a very well received answer, especially the “even bad ones” part. But it’s still true today, there is no better way for anyone to learn how to make decisions than to make them. It’s kind of like riding a bike. You can watch videos on bike riding, you can read a book on how to ride a bike but at some point, the only way to learn how to actually ride a bike is to ride one. Even if that means falling off a bunch of times.

But managers in organizations have a very difficult time allowing other people, particularly people lower than them in the organization, to make decisions. They “empower” them to make decisions but they seldom enable them. That prevents even empowered people from exercising that power. And that’s just fine with most managers.

Leaders however both empower and enable their people to make decisions. They offer suggestions, they coach and they provide feedback but they seldom overrule a decision made by someone they empowered. Even at times when they know the outcome will be less than optimal.

They won’t allow their people to make large, expensive mistakes but they know allowing the small, less costly mistakes from time to time might be the best investment they can make in the development of their people.

Once the mistake is realized they coach their people to “solve” the problem on their own…that’s the “learning” part of how to make better decisions.

But making big and difficult decisions can be daunting, whether it be in business or our personal lives. If you have difficult decisions to make here’s a process that may help.

1. Gather Information. Collect all relevant information about the decision at hand. This could include pros and cons, potential consequences, and any available data or insights. You may never have all the information you’d like to have but that’s okay, some of the additional steps below can help you fill in the blanks.

2. Define Criteria. Determine the criteria that are important for making the decision. This could involve considering your values, goals, priorities, and any constraints or limitations.

3. Explore Options. Brainstorm and explore different options or alternatives. Be creative and open-minded, considering both conventional and unconventional paths.

4. Evaluate Options. Assess each option against the criteria you defined earlier. Consider the potential outcomes, risks, and benefits associated with each option.

5. Consider Consequences. Think about the short-term and long-term consequences of each option. Consider how each decision could impact your life, as well as the lives of others involved. The best decision makers I know consider not only the consequences of a decision but the consequences of the consequences of the consequences. They are often a step or two ahead of everyone else involved in the decision making process. This is the level you should work towards.

6. Trust Your Instincts. While it’s important to analyze and weigh your options carefully, sometimes your gut feeling can provide valuable insight. Trust your intuition, especially if all options seem equally appealing or unappealing. That “intuition” is often a learning from a past experience you’ve had that your conscious mind doesn’t remember but your subconscious mind does.

7. Seek Advice. Talk to trusted friends, family members, mentors, or professionals who can offer different perspectives or insights on the decision. Sometimes an outside opinion can provide clarity.

8. Make the Decision. After thorough deliberation, make a decision. Trust that you’ve considered all relevant factors to the best of your ability.

9. Take Action. Once you’ve made a decision, take action to implement it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed based on new information or changing circumstances. You would be surprised by how many people execute those first 8 steps flawlessly and still somehow miss this step. It is not really a decision unless some action is taken as a result of it. That means if you skip step nine you have NOT actually made a decision.

10. Reflect and Learn. After the decision has been made and implemented, take time to reflect on the process. Consider what went well, what could have been done differently, and what lessons you can apply to future decisions.

Making decisions can be challenging, making difficult ones is even more challenging. It’s okay to feel uncertain at times. Trust in your ability to navigate through the process and learn from the experience, regardless of the outcome.

By following this process, the more decisions you make the better your decision making will become. There will always be another difficult decision to make in your life, there won’t however be a decision you’re not prepared to make.

Making Better Decisions

Steve Keating 2 Comments

It has been said that every decision we make, makes us. I believe that is true. It’s also true that the better our decisions the better our lives will be. Yet, many people struggle to make decisions. Their progress in life is hampered because they can’t, won’t or are simply afraid to decide. What they often fail to realize is that not making a decision is in fact a decision. It’s a decision to do nothing. That’s almost always a bad decision. 

It’s almost impossible to “fix” a decision that wasn’t made. When you make a bad decision all you have to do is make a better decision to fix it. Making more and better decisions is a valuable skill that can be developed through practice and a thoughtful approach. Here are some steps to help you improve your decision-making abilities.

  1. Define the decision: Clearly understand the decision you need to make. Identify the problem or opportunity you’re facing and define the desired outcome or objective.
  1. Gather information: Collect relevant information and data related to the decision. This might involve conducting research, consulting experts, or analyzing past experiences. Ensure you have a comprehensive understanding of the factors influencing the decision.
  1. Identify alternatives: Generate a range of potential options or solutions to consider. Avoid limiting yourself to just one or two choices. Brainstorm different possibilities and explore creative alternatives.
  1. Evaluate the pros and cons: Assess the advantages and disadvantages of each alternative. Consider the potential risks, benefits, costs, and consequences associated with each option. Consider the consequences of the consequences but don’t paralyze your decisions making ability by over analyzing. You must find balance here. Prioritize the factors that are most important to you or align with your objectives.
  1. Consider your values and priorities: Reflect on your personal values, beliefs, and long-term goals. Ensure that the decision aligns with your principles and supports what matters most to you. Sometimes, it may be necessary to make trade-offs or compromises. But, and this is big, do not compromise on your core values. Fight for them. If they aren’t worth fighting for then they aren’t really core values to begin with. 
  1. Analyze the potential outcomes: Project the potential outcomes of each alternative. Consider the short-term and long-term consequences and how they align with your objectives. Assess the likelihood of success or failure for each option.
  1. Seek diverse perspectives: Engage with others who have knowledge or experience related to the decision. Seek different viewpoints, feedback, and advice. This can help you gain valuable insights, challenge your assumptions, and identify blind spots.
  1. Trust your intuition: Intuition can play a role in decision-making, particularly when you have relevant experience or expertise. Listen to your gut feelings, but also balance them with rational analysis and evidence.
  1. Make a decision: After weighing the information, alternatives, and perspectives, make a choice. Avoid excessive hesitation or indecisiveness. Trust yourself and have confidence in your ability to make sound decisions.
  1. Take action: Implement your decision and follow through with the necessary actions. Develop a plan, set deadlines, and allocate resources as needed. Be adaptable and willing to adjust your course if new information or circumstances arise.
  1. Evaluate the decision: Once you’ve implemented your decision, evaluate its effectiveness. Assess the outcomes and learn from the experience. Determine what worked well and what could be improved for future decisions.
  1. Reflect and learn: Continuously improve your decision-making skills by reflecting on past decisions and learning from your successes and failures. Seek feedback and seek opportunities to refine your approach.

Remember, decision-making is a process, and it’s normal to make mistakes. Sometimes you won’t need this entire process. Sometimes you’ll use all of it but the process will be brief. Sometimes, the process will require a significant investment of time. 

In any event they key is to make a decision. But, it’s not really a decision until you act on it. Acting on a decision is vital to effective decision making. By consistently practicing and refining your decision-making abilities, you can enhance your skills and make more informed and effective choices over time.

And remember, the better your choices, the better your life!

Making Better Decisions

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Somebody really smart once said that our lives our made from the choices we make. I believe, good or bad, we are all only one decision away from a completely different life. That means we need to be certain we are making the best decisions possible in our life. 

Making decisions is a complex process. It involves weighing various factors and considering the potential consequences of each option. Some decisions are so complex that many people decide not to make them at all. But deciding to not decide IS a decision. 

It’s a decision to allow other people or random circumstances to choose your life’s course for you. That hardly ever works out well. So YOU need to decide, even with all the risks that can come with a decision you’re better off deciding than not. 

So here are some steps you can follow that are likely to help you make better decisions.  They can also remove some of the stress associated with decision making. 

  • Identify the decision: Start by identifying the decision you need to make. It’s important to be clear about what you want to achieve and why you need to make the decision.
  • Gather information: Once you have identified the decision required, gather as much information as you can about the options available to you. This could include research, advice from others, and your own experiences. Sometimes you’ll need to “trust your gut” when making decisions. Know that your “gut” is likely a life experience that you have forgotten but your subconscious mind has not. You almost certainly know more than you realize, trust yourself. 
  • Evaluate the options: Consider the pros and cons of each option. Think about the potential benefits and risks of each choice, and assess how well each option aligns with your goals. Go deep here, consider the consequences of the consequences of the consequences. Play the “what if” game. What if this happens? What if that happens? Good decision makers are seldom surprised by an outcome of their decisions. That’s because they have considered all the possibilities. 
  • Make a decision: Based on the information you have gathered and the evaluations you have made, choose the option that best aligns with your goals. 
  • Take action: Once you have made your decision, take action to implement it. This may involve communicating your decision to others, taking steps to put your plan into action, and monitoring your progress. You may have felt a weight lifted off your shoulders when you made your decision but you need to understand, it’s not a real decision until you act upon it. 
  • Evaluate the results: After you have taken action, evaluate the results. Assess whether your decision has led to the outcomes you were hoping for, and whether you need to make any adjustments or changes going forward. I like to assume that some adjustments will be needed. Having to make adjustments is not the sign of a bad decision, it is a part of making your initial decision even better. 

The better your decisions the better your life will be. You make tons of decisions everyday. Most are made subconsciously. Some of those can have a bigger impact on our lives than we realize but it’s the ones that keep us up at night that really matter. Don’t allow other people or circumstances to make those decisions for you. You are better off making a wrong decision that you can fix rather than surrendering control of your life to someone else’s poor decisions that you can’t fix. 

Make your decisions fearlessly. Know full well that you are in control of your life and you’re only one decision away from having exactly the life you want. 

A Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Steve Keating 1 Comment

This is a story about a prosperous, or formerly prosperous, Hot Dog vendor in a major metropolitan city. He began his business with a single Hot Dog stand in the heart of downtown. He was a gregarious fellow who served excellent all beef Hot Dogs with all the fixins’. 

He could talk up a storm and always had something of interest to share with his customers. His customer base expanded over the first couple of years. His profits grew to the point he was able to pay for his son to attend one of the finest universities. 

The dad continued to do well with his Hot Dog business too. So well in fact that he added several additional stands throughout the city along with a handful of employees. All while his son was away at school. By any measure his business was booming. 

His son graduated with a degree in finance and triumphantly returned home. Upon learning of his father’s rapid growth he was shocked and concerned. He told his dad that he was very likely growing his business too fast. He added that the economy was on the cusp of a recession and he needed to downsize to “protect” his business. His business was sure to decline and he would be stuck with overhead and bills he wouldn’t be able to pay. 

The dad was surprised and disturbed by this news. He had no idea about the “mistakes” he had been making. All his bills were paid. He had no debt. His customers and employees were all happy and his profits were continuing to grow. But he had no formal education and his son had a newly minted degree. So he decided to follow his son’s advice. 

He immediately closed one of his stands and as his son had predicted sales began to decline. So he closed a second stand and once again, as his son had predicted sales and profits fell even further. 

Over the course of the year he laid off all of his employees and closed all but his original Hot Dog stand. Sales were once again at the level of years earlier before his son had gone off to school. 

The dad was amazed at how accurate his son’s “predictions” were and thanked him immensely for “saving” his business. 

Now this isn’t a true story but it very well good be. And if you’re not careful it could be your story too. 

As we continue in our turbulent times and approach a recession, or maybe already are in a recession, the “experts” will be out in force. The naysayers and doom makers will have ample “evidence” as to why you can’t succeed. Listen intently, use what you can from their “insights” but always always always decide for yourself. 

You know you better than anyone else. You know what you’re capable of. You know your business. You know your marketplace and your customers. The consultants and experts can add to your knowledge base but they can’t decide for you unless you allow them to. 

Never allow them to. Don’t become so “data driven” that you allow data to take over for your critical thinking skills. There was zero data to indicate any consumer demand for something called an iPod or a touch screen phone. But Steve Jobs went with his gut and moved forward anyway. It seems to have worked out reasonably well. There are still “experts” predicting the imminent death of the iPhone but I’ll bet Apple builds a few more next year anyway.

Good business plans, excellent leadership, sound values, integrity based principles, and undeterred perseverance will always win in the long run. Don’t let anyone who doesn’t truly know you and your business tell you otherwise. 

And never let their “predictions” become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

On a different subject… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

The Decisions You Make, Make You

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Research shows that the average person makes 35,000 decisions…a day! Assuming 7 hours of sleep each day that leaves 17 hours. That makes for a little over 2000 decisions an hour or one decision every two seconds. 

After seeing that research the first decision I made was to decide the researchers must be nuts. If we’re all making 35,000 decisions a day then we can’t be doing anything else. But then I made another decision to read a bit further. The article said decisions include things like deciding to read further in an article. Deciding to ignore a text notification while reading. Deciding to shift my position in the chair I was reading in. 

So whether we really make 35,000 decisions a day or not, it became clear to me that we make a whole lot more decisions than we are actually aware of. Some of those decisions have very little impact on our lives. Others have a major impact. And many, perhaps very many, we won’t understand their impact for years. 

I suspect many of the “outcomes” of our decisions we never tie back to a decision at all. But this much I’m certain of…the better the decisions we make the better the life we make as well. 

We make many huge decisions without ever considering the impact and consequences they could, or will, have on our lives. That’s because we often don’t realize how big some of our everyday decisions are.

For example, the decision about the people you allow into your life. You are the compilation of the five people you most frequently interact with. Yet for most of us we never even consider the influence other people have on our lives. We allow negative people, people who procrastinate, people who find a problem with every solution into our lives and then wonder why we struggle to be the person we want to be. 

If you want to be more successful then hang out with successful, positive and supportive people. 

I see salespeople all the time who when deciding to make one more sales call on a given day or knock off early they choose knocking off early. That’s a terrible choice in most every case. They limit their success, they limit their career and they limit their income. Salespeople who make that poor choice even a handful of times a month will need to work years to make up the lost income. But when deciding when their day will end they almost never consider the long-term consequences. 

The first step to making better decisions is realizing how many decisions you actually make. 

Little decisions, like deciding between a plain Hershey Bar or a Hershey Bar with Almonds won’t be life altering. But it’s likely that more decisions than you think will indeed have a long-term impact on your life. The most successful people consider the consequences of the consequences before making those decisions. 

You are potentially one choice away from a completely different life. There are two types of people in the world, those who believe their life is largely the sum of their choices and those who believe their life is chosen for them by the lottery of circumstances. 

If you don’t believe that then it’s likely you’re in the second group. If you’re interested in success that’s not the group you want to be in. 

Accept responsibility for your choices and you’ll be accepting responsibility for your life. 

A Guaranteed Wrong Decision

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I was asked years ago to do a Goal Setting workshop for a group of High School Seniors. We were talking about short term goals and I asked how many of the students were planning on attending college in the fall. 

The answers were varied but one stood out. The student said they had not yet decided about attending college in the fall so they were taking a year off school and then they would decided. I replied “so you’ve decided to not attend this fall.” They again said that had not yet decided about college in the fall so they were taking a year to “review their options” and then decide. So I gave the same reply. I added that by not deciding they had decided. They would not be attending college in the fall. 

The young student was frustrated with my answer. They were certain that they had not yet made a decision. But in fact the decision had been made. 

You may be tempted to cut the student a little slack given their age of lack of experience with making big decisions. Except the inability to make decisions has little to do with age or experience. 

It has to do with confidence. It has to do with being okay with failing once in a while. It has to do with the willingness to suffer the consequences of make wrong decisions. It has to do with with having the discipline to try again. And maybe again and again. 

People who can’t make a decision, or more likely, won’t make a decision, fail to understand that not making a decision IS a decision. It’s a decision to not change, to not take action, or it’s a decision to cling to a past mistake because you invested so much time in making the mistake. 

Not making a decision is guaranteed to be a wrong decision. I maintain actually making a decision that turns out to be wrong is often easier to fix than no decision because at least you’re now certain what doesn’t work. 

When you’re making a big decision and you’re not sure what to do then break the big decision into a series of smaller ones and do the next right thing to do. No matter how little that “right thing” is you’ll be creating momentum towards the big decision. You’ll be making progress and progress is always a good thing to make. 

If you think you truly can’t decide between a couple of options then simply flip a coin. I can promise you when that coin is in the air you’ll know exactly how you want it to land. Then, regardless of how the coin actually lands, you’ll know which option to choose. 

That may sound silly but it works amazingly well. But in order to find out for yourself you do have to decide to try it out.