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Why I Give Away My Money

April 1, 2013

Many  bundle of US 100 dollars bank notesI’ve always found it pretty easy to make money. Lots of lots of money. I made my first million at 12 years of age selling Ice Cold Lemonade at the Minnesota State Fair. I had so many return customers that I got to know them by name and I soon discovered that the more I used their name, the bigger the tips I seemed to received.

It took several more years but even with the normal teenage chores of grass-cutting and homework I was able to parley that first million into nearly 10 million dollars by the time I graduated from high school. Truth be told, it would have been exactly $10,000,000 if I hadn’t had to repay my dad for the $12 in seed money he loaned me to start the lemonade stand.

I mostly invested that money during my college years but some of those investments really paid off and by the time I had a college degree I also had 25 millions dollars to go with it.

Speaking of college, I watched my classmates invent stuff for something called “the Internet” and World Wide Web and I had no idea what that was. It just didn’t seem like something that would catch on to me and I’m still wondering if the whole Internet thing isn’t just a passing fad.

They laughed at me when I invented a little blue pill in the science lab but I got the last laugh…. I sold that formula for 100 million and still get royalties for it to this very day.

Sometime in my twenties it became apparent that I would always have more money than I would ever need, so I started giving it away. I figured I’ve given away almost 300 million so far. I’ve given money to almost every “cause” you can think of.

I gave 20 million to a guy in Australia that I met on a plane. He was doing research to determine if it was possible to use ants to turn turbines that would generate enough energy to power Sydney without the additional use of energy from the power grid.

I’m not sure has that worked out, but when I was in Sydney I had electricity in my hotel room so maybe he pulled it off.

I gave a college kid out east 50 bucks several years ago to start some social networking thing… He called it Face something…. I wonder how that turned out for him?

I still give away loads of money today. As you can imagine there are lots of people who need help. So many in fact that I just can’t verify the legitimacy of their request. Because of those limitations I limit the amount I will give to an initial amount of $500,000. If they do well with the initial investment I give them more. If they don’t make money with it or let me know how they are doing I can get very stingy in a hurry. They won’t get more from me.

My one regret is that it can take a while for me to respond to everyone. Sometimes a week or more. So if you have a request please be patient and in the meantime, have a wonderful April Fools Day!

From → Fun

15 Comments
  1. I get it. Now… about that free money? :)

  2. Deb Costello permalink

    snicker… :)

  3. Sam permalink

    In Humor we learn :)

  4. Cynthia Boltenhouse permalink

    I am have a revolutionary idea that will help people all over the world. It could all but eliminate elderly people from falling and hurt themselves. It would allow almost anyone the ability to be independent and walk without fear, pain, or incident. People with degenerating bones can still move and live well.
    I see a world of mobile happy people young and old. Late night calls of fallen loved ones almost a memory. I have such a personal attachment to thus, as a current injured mother of three.
    Please contact me at 330 990 2143 or 330 794 5281. I believe in this so much and I think you will too, though you possess much more of the know how knowledge than I do. Thank you so very much for this opportunity to share this revolutionary idea with you.

  5. Moses Molebatsi permalink

    Still asking myself whether its literally or figurative…anyway it sparked something in me giving money for purpose.

  6. Cindy permalink

    Hi there i know its not easy to give away MONEY but why not hire someone to make out random. Certified cheques them mail them out ??? God knows I could use some financial help , but I keep dreaming thank u cindy

  7. Natalie permalink

    This is a funny joke..any chance there is some truth in it?! :) I really would like to study but can’t at the moment due to debts.

    Please email me.

    Thanks

    Nat

    • There is no chance there is any truth to it :) But best of luck to you in your studies!

      • aneta permalink

        Money is the energy.
        Everything is in our mind.
        We need to change our belifes.

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  1. Why I Give Away My Money | LeadToday | Homestead Ministries

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